How many of you would get married the Islamic way and not the ‘traditional’? Lemme expand on that…
Examples:
Islamic: Get married in a mosque
Traditional: In a wedding hall, dance, music and such…
Islamic: Simple, purpose-filling
Traditional: Extravagant, glamerous, still purpose-filling
Not being judgemental or anything and yes yes i know how paki/asian wedding can be. but…just would like to hear what you all think and which way would u adopt. and please don’t take the above examples as ‘strict’ interpretations of what i think is/isn’t a muslim way…i just wanna hear you guys out. The reason i ask is because a few days ago a caller asked in a show whether doodh-pilai is halal (in the form of a ceremony) and the scholars said it was NOT because of the obvious, ladies dont cover, etc…etc…so it just made me think…
maybe i'm wrong, but i dont thing getting married in a mosque is particularly the "islamic way"... iv'e never heard that the nikah shud be carried out there.
Inshallah I am going to do everything the islamic way come my wedding...
inshallah I am going to get my dad to read my nikah... i dont want some gher moulvi sahab there... its just not as personal...
and NO mixing on my wedding day... inshallah everything will be 100% segregated... towards the end, i guess we'll allow for my fianc'e (tab tuk to husband ho chuka ho ga :)), get a few pics, also, by brother, father, paternal and maternal uncles will be allowed in only. No cousins allowed whatsoever. And had my fianc'es father been alive, he would have been alowed in as well.
And all the waiters on the girls side will be femle as well, inshallah.
Mine will be an average ceremony, something that reflects our financial status... i'm not going to go cheap, and inshallah i will refrain from israaf. But I guess simple/ extravagance are relative terms and what may be simple for me may be extravagant by my maasi's standard.
And I dont see anything wrong with having cultural ceremonies pre/ post wedding AS LONG AS THEY DO NOT clash with the teachings of Islam, and are done within its boundaries. Also, it shud be ensured that non of our ceremonies are imitating other ppl's religous ceremonies.
Oh... and no Quran lingering on top of my head during rukhsati, thats just disrespectful and defies its purpose!
i woudnt preferably support this traditional way i mean the traditions that are wholly and solely borrowed from the hindu culture. NO to unislamic rather Non islamic culture. Agree that inside the mosque thing i havent read anywhere being prescribed by the Holy Prophet (Sal Allah o Aleh Wasalam) .. celebrations have been said to be liked and appreciated by the Prophet and i more than believe that those celebrations, i mean in those times, wouldnt be any any thing like been the part and parcel of the marriages ceremonies held at present.
Since you follow (or try to follow) strict Islamic code of conduct. I have observed that families who collectively follow certain lifestyle , it is very easy to do it (the intended wedding as you described ) as people are already used to. For instance whole family observe strict pardah , clear distinction of mehram and na mehram relatives and segregation of gender etc.
So does your family (most of it) like maternal and parental side also follow these strict guidelines or its just you (and your immediate family)
And what about your inlaws ? do they also have the same mindset ?
You may opt for not answering these questions as they are sort of personal. I was just curious
lol i was actually just curious to see what people think about it…just an insight if you will. my family’s not so very strict in following the religion. sorry for the mis-portrayal
^lol teggy, i interpreted the question by CR to have been directed to me... lekin tum ne answer kar diya...
khair, this would have been my reply in short:
both (mine and in-laws) khandaans are made up of families with varying religous inclinations. So wedding in the family have been both segregated and mixed-gathering. However, since ppl in the family have previously conducted segregated weddings, it is easy for the rest of the extended family to accept such a setting (even if they personally opt for a more mixed wedding).... so inshallah there is no chance for an uncle walking in bcoz he has to hand his kid over to his wife and all the hijabis have to run for cover lol :)
hmm we always do the marriage in z mosque and then we went in a wedding hall after but theres no dancing all zat but we just invite all our relatives to take dinner or lunch together. furthermore we also make the dulha n dulhan attend all invitees :D
^lol teggy, i interpreted the question by CR to have been directed to me... lekin tum ne answer kar diya...
khair, this would have been my reply in short:
both (mine and in-laws) khandaans are made up of families with varying religous inclinations. So wedding in the family have been both segregated and mixed-gathering. However, since ppl in the family have previously conducted segregated weddings, it is easy for the rest of the extended family to accept such a setting (even if they personally opt for a more mixed wedding).... so inshallah there is no chance for an uncle walking in bcoz he has to hand his kid over to his wife and all the hijabis have to run for cover lol :)
hmm we always do the marriage in z mosque and then we went in a wedding hall after but theres no dancing all zat but we just invite all our relatives to take dinner or lunch together. furthermore we also make the dulha n dulhan attend all invitees :D
so would it be correct to say, it's done if the trend is already set within the family or families for that matter? is the reason why most ppl don't do it because they're afraid everyone might not go along with it?......
So pinks , what sort of relationship you would forsee with your devers, jaith ( if any) by devers i mean carefree youg boys (like some of your cousins) and jaith i mean your husband’s older borther(s) who are married and have family.
Would you seriously not allow them to be part of some group fotos ?
What would be your rationale of the above decision ? considering the implications of the decision in your future married life ?
You stressed so much on ‘Segregation’ as being very very islmaic thing to the point that you said
**
"And all the waiters on the girls side will be femle as well, inshallah. "
**
Given that people interpret islam to varring degree and some with rigid de-coding would say that waiters job for girls is also unislamic !**
&
“so inshallah there is no chance for an uncle walking in bcoz he has to hand his kid over to his wife and all the hijabis have to run for cover lol :)”
**Are you somhow suggesting that behind these segregation, women would be dressed immodestly ??? I strongly doubt that hijabis there would be flashing lot of skin behind closed doors at some desi wedding. That is outlandish(considering pakistanic cultural norms) . So i believe that hijabis still would be wearing modest dress and non-hijabis too would be wearing pretty modest dress so It is beyond my comprehension why would they be running for cover on seeing a harmless uncle. AT most they need to adjust their doppata on their head
I’m not gonna answer the first part of ur post here, plz dont mind and no, devers/ cousins cant come in for a group foto if i’m not covered in a manner that is islamically acceptable
as for the second part… most hijabi girls (who aren’t hypocritical about it) would NOT wanna cover up on thier wedding day, especially if they are the bride!.. this means that they would wear something short sleeved, their necks would be shown, they generally have a lot of makeup on, and despite the fact that they dupatta is on the head, it doesn’t cover all that it is meant to.
I dont see how females waitresses on the GIRLS side ONLY is unislamic? they are employed to do their work. The mens side would have male waiters.
As for the last part… yes, my sisters, cousins, etc would uncover more then they normally would… if it is Islamically allowed then why not right? If u have seen a scrunched-up dupatta that is in fashion, it doesn’t cover up much even if it is on the head, and what about the arms…? As far as dressing immodestly, its only immodest if it is shown to ppl who aren’t islamically allowed to see it… larhkion ke saamne fashion kar ne mey koi harj nahi, Alhumdulillah!
lo, tum popcorn to kha sakti ho, i cant imagine u not being able to accomplish much more
i wanna have pista icecream!!!.. u cant guarentee with kulfi, kal aik kha’e thi… it tasted so bad… and the dude was boasting about how it was made from real khoya… abhi tuk apne $3 zaya kar ne pe afsoos ho raha hai! lekin aggar tumme passand hai to i’ll buy u one… r u a Snoopy fan?
I strongly doubt that hijabis there would be flashing lot of skin behind closed doors at some desi wedding. That is outlandish(considering pakistanic cultural norms) . So i believe that hijabis still would be wearing modest dress and non-hijabis too would be wearing pretty modest dress so It is beyond my comprehension why would they be running for cover on seeing a harmless uncle. AT most they need to adjust their doppata on their head
