Re: Marriage…the right way?!
eeeeeeeee…ya ya :YES!: snoopy chalay ge nahi in fact doray ge 
btw snoopy say zayda i m KBeez fan …but ice cream her terha ke chalti hai. (KBz meri terf say phir. but now all u have to do is send me a ticket 
)
p.s. popcorn to kha lanay do aram say 
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
wedding is a noble and sacred pact between two people, a woman and a man, who willingly and with care for each other, consent to accepting each other as their life partners.
there are so many important things but before them confident and real decision has to be firm to be with a certain person.
these celebratory events will happen and are enjoyed, but what is the use if the intent and true spirit of welcoming is missing or suffocated by something?
there may or may not be the right way* for anyone, since everyone wants to do things their way.*
but, the right way does exist.
simple wedding. blessed wedding and a fulfilling relations between the married couple.
parents and siblings, are important and good parents and siblings do not cause personal or material preferences to hinder a marriage.
rest Allah swt knows best.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
we will send u bowl n chumach…app us ko yadgar k tor per save ker legeya ga
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
oi! i’m shouting u icecream, not air travel!
oh, while wer’e at it, we shud buy the gola gandays at DhoraJi… i can challenge there is no better place on earth that make 'em so yum!!!
waise mujhe bhi har jagga ki ice creasm achi lag ti hai (except for the one i ate yesterday!)
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
dont worry may is golay ganday ke khani sun ker gola ganda nahi kahoon ge. isleya snoopy per he tiki raho.
Kanjoos
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
gimme gimme gimme!
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
wedding is a noble and sacred pact between two people, a woman and a man, who willingly and with care for each other, consent to accepting each other as their life partners. there are so many important things but before them confident and real decision has to be firm to be with a certain person. these celebratory events will happen and are enjoyed, but what is the use if the intent and true spirit of welcoming is missing or suffocated by something?
there may or may not be the right way* for anyone, since everyone wants to do things their way.*
but, the right way does exist.
simple wedding. blessed wedding and a fulfilling relations between the married couple. parents and siblings, are important and good parents and siblings do not cause personal or material preferences to hinder a marriage. rest Allah swt knows best.
best, Dushwari
You're absolutely correct. But after you've understood what's going to take place, how exactly would u like to have it take place? Extravagantly or Simple?.....because i've seen very few families that do it with utter simplicity and i kinda admire that because not many people do it like that. so it kinda stands out.
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
Pinks just outta curiosity, will you be living wiht your in-laws (including your husbands elder/younger brothers) after marriage? I cant imagine having to do strict purdah even at home, 24/7 that sucks!
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
I dont see how females waitresses on the GIRLS side ONLY is unislamic? they are employed to do their work. The mens side would have male waiters.
He means that alot of very strictly religious folks would frown upon women working, even going as far as to say it's unIslamic for a girl to work at all.... so its kinda a conundrum.....
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
ok, so i can clarify, i dont do strict abaya, i just do the whole scarf-abaya type of dressing.
yes, i will be living with in laws (and yes, there will be a younger deevar present). I guess he will be at work/ uni most of the day so i won't need to cover up then, but shaam main, probably a big chaadar/ scarf+chaadar will suffice. I pray that Allah makes things easier for me and i dont have to compromise on the little amount of deen i follow...
waise the problem is that our culture follows the indian lifestyle more then it follows the Islamic :( Islamically there is no concept for all to be living in one big family, but i dont wanna be the one who marries into a family just to split everyone apart, inshallah I will do whatever I can in the space I am given, and Allah will help me in this (and every other) regard.
Wassalam
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
He means that alot of very strictly religious folks would frown upon women working, even going as far as to say it's unIslamic for a girl to work at all.... so its kinda a conundrum.....
really, i personally dont know anyone like that, Alhumdulillah. i mean the maasis in most ppl's house in paki are females.
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
Yeah it sucks but kya kar sakte hain, in pak the concept of moving out is like the equivalent of someone moving in with their gf/bf 
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
[quote]
larhkion ke saamne fashion kar ne mey koi harj nahi, Alhumdulillah!
[/quote]
Since when? Islam only talks about mehrams and na mehrams.. Maybe you are talking about the cultural comfort between sexes? I think an example in the west is girls [and guys] in school gyms taking shower in their own locker rooms.
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
pinks- i apologise if you feel that i am trying to take a peek at your personal life and crossing the limit. You have every right to not respond any query, which you find inapropriate 
Thankyou for this explaination. I can understand your reasoning very well now 
I have some enquiries, please feel free to respond at will. I just want to understand how people are planning to cope with cultural sensitivities while keeping religious ones intact.
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
I have some enquiries, please feel free to respond at will. I just want to understand how people are planning to cop with cultural sensitivities while keeping religious ones intact.
Precisely! i'd like to know too...
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
Firstly, I will be better able to answer that question once I am married inshallah, but I’ll give it a go here…
Subhanallah, Alhumdulillah & Allah hu Akbar, I am marrying into a family who are very simple/ modest (not the modern version) and broad minded. My MIL has always emphasised on talking about stuff, so i guess, as cliched as it sounds, communication is the key.
I am not going to walk into my marital home and demand that I want this, this and this! Everything has to be balanced well… I will give unconditional respect to the family and that will inshallah win thier hearts… ache ikhlaaq se sab ka dil badal ja ta hai. I guess my interpretation to cultural sensitivity is to not abruptly tell ppl what to/ not to do… and i will inshallah explain myself as best i can, but Inshallah I will not compromise on the little that i believe (no one is going to answer in my grave as to why i committed a sin)… i like the saying there is NO obedience to the created over the creator.
Respect is going to be given at all costs, if ppl want me to sit together in thier homes, then I will (i’m not gonna create a scene!), but I will also not take my abaya and scarf off no matter what they say!
For years, I have been going to paki, and when we were much yourger, ppl would scould me and my sis on being the only idiots at a wedding wearing a scarf, but I’d say “movie waala ghoom raha hai” and they’d look at us thinking what a bunch of freaks! but Subhanallah our parents raised us well, and our relentlessness paid off! they dont bug us anymore, and if someone else asks, they speak on our behalf lol.
I pray that this answers ur quesiton… but i think with experience, I will be better able to explain myself inshallah. May Allah SWT guide me, forgive me, and make me stronger in my faith, Amin.
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
Since when? Islam only talks about mehrams and na mehrams.. Maybe you are talking about the cultural comfort between sexes? I think an example in the west is girls [and guys] in school gyms taking shower in their own locker rooms.
a believing muslimah has to be covered from head to tow, this is the islamic manner and has nothing to do with culture...
secondly, a girl is allowed to say, wear sleeveless clothing infront of other girls, are allowed to wear stuff below thier knees infront of other girls, etc.... so such fashion is allowed only in segregated parties... girls have an innate want to look good (plz dont confuse this with arrogance)... and yes, hijabis want this too, only they want it in settings where they are sure that they dont displease the Creator.
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
I agree with you pinks :k: girls have an inherent right to do latest fashion and look good. Generally people assume that religious girls should succumb this right. I beleive this is a stereotype and I think religious girls played at least some part in upholding this image.
I duly appreciate this spirit :k: I pray Allah make things easier for you
Now comming back to my enquiries. I believe that simple wedding does not automatically mean that people should sacrifice all the fun. And there should be subtle difference in the outlook of a happy ocasion like wedding and a religious gathering like quran khawani.
Now just like you said that girls like to wear fashionable cloths in segregated “all ladies” areas. Would you also encourage some fun stuff like girls singing and dancing. girls make parodies poking fun at girls inlaws, teasing bride by saying funny stuff about her husband etc
Generally our perception of a religious person is that they are against fun. Which is not true in some cases but mostly we get the idea that ‘Fun is haraam’ or ‘having fun can always be termed as immitating other cultures or religion’
Re: Marriage…the right way?!
This comment is debatable.
Firstly, our culture follows indian lifestyle because we are inherently indians. Before anyone jump up and down and correct me that we are pakistani and not indian. Let me be specific.
Like we can call people of different countries like kuwait, jordon, yemen palestine or syria collectively called arab similarly we belong to indus valley civilization and can be rightly termed as indians.
We are wrongly insecure about our roots. Indian culture is not automatically unislamic or bad as we love to preceive. Arab culture is not automatically islamic. Just like we have a mehndi function they have silmilar funtions where they enjoy and have fun. And they can be pretty unislamic even by liberal standards
see
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/showthread.php?t=127007
Re: Marriage...the right way?!
uffff, Code Red, I feel like i'm being asked to represent most "religous" girls, i dont wanna take this responsibiliy and if iv'e given such an impression, plz believe me when i say it was unintentional. In my posts, i an just referring to my sisters, cousins, friends, etc, basically ppl i know.
Now with your query... yes, some "religous" girls may come off as against-fun, this may be for 2 reasons: 1. it is in thier character to be "boring", or 2. most of the "fun" that they do not participate in is bcoz it is against the teaching of islam (e.g. a rasm of scabbing money off the groom where all these girls from the brides side grabs his hand and beg for money, and dont let go until he coughs it! most "religous" girls wouldn't indulge in the rasm, and the only ones having "fun" are the ones that couldn't care less about how haram thier actions are)
Like Iv'e mentioned earlier, as long as a rasm in our culture doesn't clash with our religion, then it is totally allowed! i never said i wanted a simple wedding, i said it was going to be an average one, something that reflects us... and yes, inshallah we will have a girls only dholki in australia b4 i leave, then i will do other rasms when i get to karachi. As far as poking fun at my hone-waale-shohour, woh to abhi sey shuro ho chuka hai and i enjoy being teased, and dont mind anyone else doing so either... i cant see why ppl would have an issue with that!?! in fact, i know a self confessed "liberal" who would never let any1 tease her fianc'e... so i think this issue is more to do with personality then religous inclination.
About the comment about following indian culture, bhai u took it out of context, i was referring to the family set up that we have, its more indian then islamic (4 brothers, all getting married, all living in the one house...)
I hope i've answered ur questions... :)
Wassalam