Re: Marriage in Jeopardy, need advice!
^ whatever his reason is, it makes no difference. Theres no right or wrong. it may not be fair to the other person. but If he is certain he does not want to be with this person because of the way he was setup or whatever that’s enough to not drag this girl through the mud. I think it would be way worse if he liked someone else. How would that be valid. Like one person and marry another? Op, if you actually tell your family how you feel, and this girl, I think you need to stop worrying about what will happen to her after. That sounds silly to me. Your intentions may not be to hurt her but you will and probably ruin some other marriage ops for her but its better than being in an unhappy loveless marriage or getting a divorce later on. She has her family and she sounds young? So I think she can come out of this. It doesn’t seem to be that this was meant to be.
I think your stance on “love” is a little naive. If your being arranged with somebody how much will you really get to explore and find out if you will love this person before hand? Your family doesn’t sound like the type to be cool with you taking your time to get to know somebody. Like others have said, love takes time. At the same time you need to make sure you don’t lead another girl on the second time around. You seem to be searching for “the one” so the next time your family brings girls to you, tell them right away of whether or not your attracted. Don’t humor them, you seem to be struggling with being honest to them. And realize if you like them or not before getting engaged.
Point is, You should get out of your confusion as soon as possible before its too late for her. She is already compromising a lot and normal pakistani girls are vulnerable to this kind of abuse ( I have to use this word ). They are not strong enough and can’t defend themselves from either their own family or the guys who think them of as toy instead of equal human being.