Re: Marriage in Jeopardy, need advice!
Since you are such an expert on Pakistani culture and family dynamics…why don’t you tell us what response you were expecting from a girl in this situation? A girl born/raised in Pakistan…going through a arranged marriage. Was she supposed to say “oh yea great idea…let me tell my ammi/abbu that you and I should meet first!”.
Even if she had told you that she agreed with you…what would YOU have done then? You obviously didn’t have it in you to stand up to your parents OR make a single phone call to HER parents to request a meeting. Was the girl supposed to take the lead here and make sure a meeting took place?
We all know that not all marriages work out. And yes, we also know that people make mistakes.
However, in YOUR case, this “mistake” was avoidable. And my main issue is that you’re acting like you’re the victim here and all the blame goes to your family/Pakistani culture.
Did you not even see a single picture of the girl before the nikah? You obviously spoke with her b/c you told her you felt things were rushed…so you must have been aware of how well she speaks English. I also have a hard time believing that your family hid/lied about her education. Yet these are the things you’ve listed as things that bother you. And your family told you BEFORE the nikah that you would not get to meet her until afterwards. Yet you still CHOSE to go through the nikah.
I completely agree that this is the best time for a divorce if you already know that you have no interest in staying married to this girl. You can’t force yourself to like someone if that attraction is not there. The point I’m trying to make is that you are just as much to blame for this mess as your family.