Marriage falling apart :(

[D1DatSmiles]

Re: Marriage falling apart

@Muzna

You need therapy for yourself…forget that he doesn’t want to go. Go for you.
You need to go on your own. Make yourself better and then when you are able to see things in a more balanced light, then make hard and fast decisions. Not right now, not in this mental state.

I think I need therapy too since the meds didn’t seem to work, might as well take another route. Will schedule an appointment after Eid insha’Allah.

@Paheli00

^ :hinna: Yep…like a broken record. Its difficult for people to accept reality at times due to strong emotions. But everyone needs to understand the NO ONE (including God) is going to help them if they’re not willing to help themselves.

Yes, I guess it’s difficult for me to accept reality. But, as immature as it sounds, I really don’t know where to begin and where to go. Like I said, my parents are divorced, I have no communication with my dad, my mom is in the hospital every other week for her own problems with medical conditions and all. She’s not old, only 47, but I still in a lot of stress so I feel I’ll only be adding to her stress, even when she had already told me that this family will never accept me. My in-laws and my family don’t even talk, never have been to each others’ house, so my mom can’t even talk to them about these situations.
It’s easier said than done. All this advice that I’m getting here, at some point I’ve thought about all this too, but it’s too hard to move forward with any of things mentioned above. I have no friends, can’t confide in cousins/aunts/uncles, and no siblings. I might know which direction is “better” for me, but I just don’t know how to follow it. I’m just lost

@starsinthesky

D1, I feel so sad for you. I spent so much time during tarawih thinking and praying for you. I hope you realize it was good for you to come here and let it out, 6 years is too long to keep your feelings pent up. Please talk to your loved ones, friends, mother…they may not all sympathise or understand, but its by speaking your experiences and feelings out loud that may actually help you.You may not be ready to make any changes yet, but keep talking.
I actually think you have answered your own questions. Re read everything you have written in the past few days…

Thanks for praying for me. Like I said, I don’t have any close friends, can’t confide in cousins due to family gaps etc, can’t tell my mom coz of a million probs of her own, don’t have any communication with my dad, don’t have siblings. I know talking to my mother is only gonna stress her more, which is in turn gonna stress me more :(.
You’re right, I might have answered my own questions, but it’s really hard for me to follow my own answers

@Iconoclast

6 years and you feel you can’t raise a baby properly and he wants a baby.
You want to have a career, he wants a housewife.
Get a divorce. Looks like there is no hope in this marriage.
I feel pity for your husband, what a poor guy, surrounded by parasites. Has parents who want him to work and buy a house for them, brother who takes his savings to buy a car, a wife who does not want to get a baby with him but wants him to put her in med school. He needs to grow some balls and start living his own life.

Firstly, I feel bad for him too that he has to go through this with me. Secondly, I don’t JUST want a career, I want a balanced life with career and a family, which is not uncommon at all. Thirdly, I don’t WANT my husband to spend all his money on me. I actually let his parents/siblings take more from him even if it leaves me with something less. I could’ve easily thrown a fit over how he’s buying a car and house for them, but no, I let it go. I felt hurt inside but didn’t say anything. And lastly, I don’t even want him to send me to med school anymore. Even a master’s would suffice so I can get a better job coz this bachelor’s isn’t gonna take me anywhere in today’s world. I even told him if money is a problem (which it isn’t, alhamdulillah, if he’d spend wisely on his family and not splurge at everything they want) I can sell my gold but no, he just wants a family now. It’s like someone has put something in his brain that every single day he’s talking about how he wants kids and wants me to get pregnant this very month.