Re: Marriage falling apart 
We knew each other since 17 and got married at 21. Honestly, I think that at that age, there was little room for us to get to know each on the basis of personality and future life. I mean I donno how else to explain it, but we really never talked about how we want to "live". I seriously think it was our fault and so immature of us to make a decision like this w/o knowing what we're getting into......as they say love is blind, a little too blind in our case! He doesn't say it's my fault and neither do I say it's his fault. We just fight, I cry, he breaks things, and then we both talk about how our marriage is a disaster....every week the same cycle repeats :( He always says everything will be alright and I always think "will it be?" :(
He wants to save the marriage just like I do, but we both don’t know how. At times, when I get panic attacks and have to go to the ER and stuff, he just says, I don’t want to hurt you more, if you want to leave me, go ahead. And sometimes, when we’re fighting he says “I don’t know why I’m still with you”. One time, I decided to leave and started packing my stuff, he just banged his head in the wall and said he’s gonna go crazy and then I stayed…and we both cried the whole night for our failed relationship! In the past, we used to fight and say stuff to each other that our lives are messed up due to each other but recently it’s getting unbearable bcoz he sometimes curses at me (which is extremely unlikely of him as I have never heard him curse at anyone, let alone me) and then I end up cursing back (unlikely of me too). I just feel that instead of turning each other into a better person, we’re bringing out the worst in each other.
He’s really turning into a “pakistani mentality” coz of how influenced he is from his parents side, who are very religious (as in Pakistani religious) and extremely narrow-minded. He doesn’t believe in counseling. Like, I used to wear hijab even before I got married but his parents want me to wear a burqa and niqaab so tells me why I don’t do it since it’s something good and they aren’t suggesting anything bad. Like yeah, he tells me things like these that no doubt are good, but if it’s not in my heart, how am I gonna do it by force? He promised me to let me go to med school and now he disagrees bcoz his family doesn’t like it or sometimes when I cry too much at my failed and unaccomplished life, he just says, “may be in a few years, you can do some kind of master’s when the kids are growing up”. I mean really?!
Yes, we both talk about this but it almost always ends up in a fight. He says he wants to work things out when we’re calm but when a fight starts, he says things like “I don’t know why I’m with you”, “Just go to your parent’s house”, etc. He has never said anything about getting a divorce though, if anything he just tells me “if you’re so stuck with me and can’t tolerate me, then go find someone better”.