God only if you all knew the stuff I have to go through and she has to go through... If my mom still says no then she will have to do what her mom wants her to do and that leaves me no where.. she goes of and gets married to someone else and I am left with nothing .. the girl I love is gone and I got nothing. I hate the fact that my cousins moms are so supportive and I am stuck with my mom. It really drives me nuts.
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Your mom will most likely make her life a living hell... whether u guys all live together or not. Let her go, and let her move on with her life.she deserves better.
I don't think that will be the case cause of the way the rest of my immediate and extended family is.... and there is no guarantee that the arranged marriage mother-in-law will not maker her life that way.. regardless every mother-in-law has some gripe/issue. She deserves better but I don't not deserve worse or anything less ....
ThaDesi,
If you are so afraid k yeh larki haath se nikal jayegi....then act FAST and take STRONGER ACTION. Your mom is being stubborn because she thinks that eventually you'll be the acha bacha and give up soon. You need to do the following 4 things.
1) Find out all of your mom's reason for rejecting this girl.
2) Talk to your mom about why this girl will make a great addition to your family
3) Get other family members to put pressure on your mom. If you are this serious about the girl, then let your mom know that I'm not going to marry anyone but her.
4) If you do get married to her......then be STRONG enough to defend your wife against ur mom when necessary during the potential saas-bahu drama.
If you feel that the headache ur mom is giving is TOO STRONG FOR YOU NOW.....then you won't be able to handle ur mom after marriage either........phir larki ko jaanay do....as sara516 says, she deserves to be happy.
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Perform istikhaara
Read these wazeefas: wazeefa Shadi Rohani Duniya
I don't think that will be the case cause of the way the rest of my immediate and extended family is.... and there is no guarantee that the arranged marriage mother-in-law will not maker her life that way.. regardless every mother-in-law has some gripe/issue. She deserves better but I don't not deserve worse or anything less ....
(I don't know if you've mentioned this or not) but whomever u marry, make sure you have your own place. please.
Your mom will most likely make her life a living hell... whether u guys all live together or not. Let her go, and let her move on with her life.she deserves better.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. That is heart-breaking. Be a man, do the right thing (Russel Peter style).
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
what's the girl take on this, i kwn i wouldn't wanna be in her place...i wouldn't marry a guy whose family (specially mom) didn't want me.
what does she and her family think abt the whole thing, r they willing to marry their daughter to u after knowing that u mom is against the whole thing?
if not, r u both ready to go against both families?
what's the girl take on this, i kwn i wouldn't wanna be in her place...i wouldn't marry a guy whose family (specially mom) didn't want me. what does she and her family think abt the whole thing, r they willing to marry their daughter to u after knowing that u mom is against the whole thing? if not, r u both ready to go against both families?
I was wondering the same thing myself. How does the girl and her family feel about the whole situation. I think any girl would be apprehensive about marrying a guy who's mom doesn't like her. BUT at the same time, (not generalizing) there are some mother-in-laws who will even complain about a bahu that they chose themselves. At the time of wedding these women are so happy with their choice, and then afterwards they nitpick about so many things. These type of mother-in-laws can never be happy with any girl, no matter who she is.
so you spoud like a really responsible guy and if you like a muslim desi girl ..go for it ..i mean you have to respect your moms decision and take it into account but in the end it is youre choice..forgetting about the girl you love wont only ruin u but it will hurt her as well .
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
any update?
I disagree with the people that are saying "what for you're mom's blessing."
You OBVIOUSLY love this girl and if there is nothing seriously wrong with her that would justify your mother's unacceptance of her...than it is simply UNFAIR of your mother to get in the way of your happiness.
I seriously feel for your girlfriend. I would be SO upset if I was in her situation. It breaks my heart to read stuff like this.
If your gut tells you she is truly the one for you, just marry her. You're mother will eventually have to accept your choice.
yo bro I hope you didn't go all bollywood like above^^ LOL
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Wow.... so its been a while sense I made this post... I don't know why I just happen to think of Gup Shup and here I am. I am single.. so that should explain the outcome. No, I did not end up going bollywood in my situation. As much as I KNOW if i would have married her everything would be fine, I let it go..Its was extremely difficult for me and Allah knows I am still going through a tough time. In the interest of her family and her own happiness I could not do anything, through out our relationship I tried to teach her the value of family and if I go against my own words what good was it. My drama goes deep, I live through it everyday.. if I could dive into it I would. I would not even know where to begin.. I loved this one girl for so long, and I honestly did pray and wait but I guess Allah has other plans for me. It is a struggle everyday for me .. people tell me everyday to let go move forward .. but for a guy like me who was genuine good guy, and have that 1 good thing taken away .. it's just hard to move on. Now I know why guys like me go bad. I am not being anti-social or a manic depressant or anything but whatever situation I am in .. she pops up in my head...even if I am not thinking about her some little thing triggers her memory. Her voice, touch, smell everything is vivid. I will be honest I am not the same person anymore after this whole thing... I saved my self my whole life for love and when I found it .. seems like I was told I can't have it after spending so much time working on it.. all i ever wanted was her to be happy with me. What a life what a word..LOVE.. who the hell came up with it?...Anycase she moved on I am single.. yeah life sucks... and desi parents just don't understand. I could have been like all my other desi friends and partied out and did whatever with any girl but nope i chose love and it stabbed me...
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
wow bro, don't know what to say.. but you are a true man for going through all that and living with the decision you made n not going bad like the rest. props on that!
insh'Allah you will find the one that is for you.. whatever happened, remember, happened for the best. Allah is the best of planners. keep on smiling :)
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Thanks for the props :) Insh'Allah I will, and I do try to keep that in mind that Allah does have something planned for me and that all of the things that I went through was not in vain, who knows maybe that part of my life will help me in the future, but I guess only time will tell. For now I keep a smile on my face whenever I can.
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Time heals. I hope this whole episode must have made you wiser. Now lets see what your mom have for you. Trust me it will be fun :)
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
salamz…so sad to hear that..well i did not understand parents love their kids but y thy making prblms in their lif in that way…![]()
seriously do 1 thing tell ur parents if they will not agree so u will not marry to any1 in ur whole lif…n u will leave them also…n u will not marry that girl…
so u r in lose but may b thy will think their kid is in stress…if girl is so good so say her to wait…n do this formula ..if thy will not agree…so leave ur home for 1 week…see wat reaction will b…u r a guy u can leave home…but girlz canot does that:teary1:
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
y girls always hav to bow down/....kabhi larkay ki ami ka masla kabhi abu ka...........ufffffffff
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
I am really sorry to hear about your situation...may Allah swt give you strength through this tough time of yours.
Please dont lose faith...there IS a reason all this happened...we just dont know it yet.
Re: Marriage block | mom issues.
Are we at a point of no return, now?
I hope the future has something good planned for you. Be who you are..and and something good will definitely happen. Take care