Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
just because there are labels doesnt mean one must follow them, if u get what i mean.
I got through nearly 22 years of my life without knowing what an ABCD/FOB was, iv never needed to give names to people.
*An abcd girl doesn't believe that an fob could be a human..(his demands, expectations and all)
*
im sorry lovey, but what crap! are there seriously people in the world who believe this stuff?
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
haha! trust me on this one missy. I have lived in both worlds. It will take you another 22 to face it.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
no, i refuse to face it 
i have and will always see people as individuals, theres no need for such labels.
Apart from the label of all American people being ignorant and arrogant…i made this one up myself and i quite like it 
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
I love innocence and denial :-)
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
good for you :p
im not in denial...i accept these labels exist, but i refuse to follow them, why should i call someone an ABCD or an FOB just because others do?
Identity comes with who you are, not where and how you have been raised.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
That is usually what makes people who and what they are.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Good for you. May you bring some fobs to sanity...keep me posted how it goes :-)
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
maybe…
fayz, im having a blonde moment, why would i need to “bring some fobs to sanity”?
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
stop being so mean, remember my innocence...
explain your usless comment petal :p
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Well, if you think that was mean...wait till you actually meet someone who is 'fresh' of the boat. :-p and then we'll talk
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Agree with you. I haven’t seen very many western girl/desi guy marriages ending up favorably.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Yes Ashtray you are right, it is the parents fault. and if you read my post properly you would have realised that I was targeting the parents.
But the thread was about do these marriages work and I was just giving an example of ones that dont work i.e. educated gals and uneducated guys because I have worked with many of these cases.
As for your "damaged goods" theory, most of the time there are uncles and aunties and granparents to please which is why these marriages occur.
I myself am married to a very nice and decent guy from pakistan, he is educated and we get on well, but we are in a small minority.
Why do you seem to be taking this personally??
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Iv met loads…my dad used to be one
and im not so sure i wish to talk to you anymore…your mean
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by suroor_ca
alhan:marraige is a risk,period. u never know what surprises life may bring for u. u can evaluated it before hand as much as u want, disect the person's personality before u get married. it still doesnt matter. the person who is a phd or a big hot shot with charming personality can turn out to be a parha likha jahil who likes to beat up his wife. remember, wife beating happens in western society at the same amount as in eastern society, the only difference is here, u can actually report such incident and in east u just keep quiet.
[/QUOTE]
That's right marriage is a risk big enough to start with. Now
having said that why must one endanger their life, prosperity
and sanity even further by marrying someone who's not acquainted
with the societal set-up and norms which you are a part of?
People from two different cultures coming together is much easier
still than two people of the same culture who are two opposite ends
of the polar system. Yes now and then idiots come along who are
educated but act worst than a high school dropout and wise versa.
But honestly a guy who's called US, Canada and some European country
his home all his life going back home to find a girl should send off
alarms. Trust me in US alone there are plenty of Muslim
girls good-looking, highly educated, high morals from all realms of the
Muslim world who are single and available. If a guy goes out of his way
to travel thousands of miles to Pakistan to find a girl then:
a) something is wrong with him, his family or his past
b) his characteristics are questionable which everyone in his family,
community, group of friends knows about and therefore no decent
girl will marry him.
These same could apply to girls as well but not as often as it would to guys.
Many times girls can't find a good match because they aren't taught
to integrate in society the way a son is taught. When two people
from two different worlds come together, till marriage everything is
a lemon pie but after that the only lemon keeping the pie from
turning sour are the kids who become the only reason for the marriage
to stay intact. And to keep a marriage intact is not good enough
reason to bring a soul into this world and punish him or her for the rest
of their life by keeping them as an audience to your ongoing marital
dilemmas.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
aww, well the meanness was just to get my point across. Give me your phone number, I will get you in the right mood. And don’t threaten me ok 
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Ok FINE...go do the dishes..don't spoil this thread :-D
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Mariah, since you are already married and cant help me get a foreign passport, I really dont have any motivation to reply but I will.
I am the only one presenting the other point of view so you blame me for taking things personal. Why dont you come out and ask me if I have been dumped by a western raised desi girl? If you cant argue then try and find cracks in my credibility, good strategy.
Threads like this always become desi guy bashing seminars of like minded western raised girls. I am just responding broad generalizations by making broad generalizations of my own. Every other reply here is trying to give the real reason for the failure of such marriages to be the greed or the paindooness of the desi guy. I aint taking that crap. My observation is that an educated Pakistani raised desi is equal or better than an educated Western born and raised desi and a paindoo Pakistani guy is way better than a western raised paindoo. Compare apples to apples and I will have no problems.
Re: Marriage b/w western desis and desis
Any marriage of any kind can work as long as you put some effort into it. I'm marring into a totally different culture and its all good to me.
