I’ve heard numerous times from people that say that your spouse is already assigned to you by Allah, and you just have to find him/her. Is this the case? How does it work? If this is the case, how does divorce fit into the equation? Any references would be appreciated also. Thanks.
Re: Marriage arranged by Allah?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
I've heard numerous times from people that say that your spouse is already assigned to you by Allah, and you just have to find him/her. Is this the case? How does it work? If this is the case, how does divorce fit into the equation? Any references would be appreciated also. Thanks.
[/QUOTE]
NO! nothing is Predestine for us. We make choices in life.
Re: Re: Marriage arranged by Allah?
i might be wrong but, i thought marriage is predestined in Islam, as is the moment of one’s death. We do make choices manifestly, but in the end, vis-a-vis marriage - the name of the person whom i choose to marry has already been Written. No one get mad, this is just my personal opinion based upon what i believe is an Islamic principle; i may be wrong 
and i am certainly willing to be corrected.
This goes back to Fret Wizard’s initial query, i suppose; i’ll try to find some accurate references Insha’Allah.
>>I’ve heard numerous times from people that say that your spouse is already assigned to you by Allah, and you just have to find him/her. Is this the case?<<
Nadia, I feel the same way as you do. I think no one has any right to object to cross-faith marriages, or Muslim women marrying Hindu men. Blame it on Allah MiaN.
I believe you are referring to the oft-repeated statement "jooray to aasmaano mein bantay hein" which roughly translates to "couples are identified in the heavens (before we are born)".
As muslim, you must have heard of "Imaan-i-Mufassil", closest translation:
**I believe in Allah, in His angels, in His books, in His messengers, in the Last Day, and in the fact that everything, good or bad is decided by Allah, the Almighty, and in life after death.
** Therefore, its all ordained, and that also applies to your spouse or perspective spouse.
And of everything We have created pairs, that you may remember (the Grace of Allâh). (Adh-Dhariyat 51:49)
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. (Ar-Rum 30:21)
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Faisal: *
As muslim, you must have heard of "Imaan-i-Mufassil", closest translation:
*I believe in Allah, in His angels, in His books, in His messengers, in the Last Day, and in the fact that everything, good or bad is decided by Allah, the Almighty, and in life after death.
** Therefore, its all ordained, and that also applies to your spouse or perspective spouse.
[/QUOTE]
Interesting, but if everything good or bad is decided by Allah then how can we be accountable for our sins? Also if marriage is pre-determined, then how does divorce fit into the equation, or as someone stated earlier, marriages between Hindu's and Muslims, etc, etc?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by NYAhmadi: *
Nadia, I feel the same way as you do. I think no one has any right to object to cross-faith marriages, or Muslim women marrying Hindu men. Blame it on Allah MiaN.
[/QUOTE]
That is not at all what i meant.
Many thanks, Faisal and Athari - those are the quotes i was thinking of.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
Interesting, but if everything good or bad is decided by Allah then how can we be accountable for our sins? Also if marriage is pre-determined, then how does divorce fit into the equation, or as someone stated earlier, marriages between Hindu's and Muslims, etc, etc?
[/QUOTE]
First of all, Iman-i-Mufassil is not open for discussion. You have to have this imaan (faith) to be a muslim. So its not a question of "if" we believe this. :)
Secondly, your basic question is if our destiny is pre-ordained then why are we held responsible for our deeds?
As intelligent human beings, we are provided choices: to follow the path of the righteous or to follow the path of the shaitaan. What we select is upto us. The knowledge on what we will select rests with our Creator. That does not bear upon the choices we make. This knowledge is not shared with us or with any other human being.
So we can not say "we are not responsible as it was our kismet (destiny) to commit a sin".
For example, as muslims we believe that the day of our death is already decided by Allah Ta'alla, and we will not live one minute more or less. That does not mean that if today someone decides to commit suicide, and says "I have to commit suicide today because my life is supposed to end today anyway". That statement will be without basis. He does not know what day he is supposed to die. He is planning to commit a sin, so, he IS responsible for his actions.
Divorce is one such action. We are given choices and we exercise our choices. What is pre-ordained in our destiny, we don't know. It may be in someone's destiny that he will die in a traffic accident at the age of 16. So he will not have a spouse. On the other hand someone's else's kismat is that he will get married at the age of 24, divorce his wife at the age of 31 and re-marry at the age of 34. Thats all part of his destiny, but he is making all such decisions himself and is responsible for them.
ASSLAMU ALAIKUM WA REHMATULLAHI WA BARAKAATOHU!
This is an interesting discussion...the basic beliefs of our beautiful Deen ....but also the most important ones.
One of the Most Basic Belief and also one of the important ones is believing in the DEVINE PREDESTINATION!!!
Qadr (Divine Preordainment) According to Quran and Sunnah
**
The Noble Qur'an Al-Hadid 57:22
"No calamity befalls on the earth or in yourselves
but is inscribed in the Book of Decrees -- (Al-Lauh Al-Mahfuz),
before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah"
The Noble Qur'an - At-Tauba 9:51
Say: "Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us.
He is our Maula (Lord, Helper and Protector)." And in Allah let the
believers put their trust.
The Noble Qur'an - At-Takwir 81:28-29
To whomsoever among you who wills to walk straight, And you will not, unless
(it be) that Allâh wills, the Lord of the 'Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all
that exists).
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 4:621, Narrated Abu Huraira
Allah's Apostle said, "Adam and Moses argued with each other. Moses said to
Adam, 'You are Adam whose mistake expelled you from Paradise.' Adam said to
him, 'You are Moses whom Allah selected as His Messenger and as the one to
whom He spoke directly; yet you blame me for a thing which had already been
written in my fate before my creation?' " Allah's Apostle said twice, "So,
Adam overpowered Moses."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 6:469, Narrated 'Ali
We were in the company of the Prophet in a funeral procession at Baqi
Al-Gharqad. He said, "There is none of you but has his place written for
him in Paradise or in the Hell- Fire." They said, "O Allah's Apostle! Shall
we depend (on this fact and give up work)?" He said, "Carry on doing (good
deeds), for everybody will find it easy to do (what will lead him to his
destined place)." Then he recited "As for him who gives (in charity) and
keeps his duty to Allah, and believes in the Best reward from Allah (i.e.
Allah will compensate him for what he will spend in Allah's way). So, We
will make smooth for him the path of ease. But he who is a greedy
miser...for him, the path for evil." (92.5-10)
Hadith - Bukhari, Narrated Anas bin Malik
The Prophet said, "Allah has appointed an angel in the womb, and the angel
says, 'O Lord! A drop of discharge (i.e. of semen), O Lord! a clot, O Lord!
a piece of flesh.' And then, if Allah wishes to complete the child's
creation, the angel will say. 'O Lord! A male or a female? O Lord! wretched
or blessed (in religion)? What will his livelihood be? What will his age
be?' The angel writes all this while the child is in the womb of its
mother."
Hadith - Tirmidhi and Ahmad, Narrated Matar ibn Ukamis
Allah's Messenger said: When Allah decrees that a person is to die in a
certain land, He creates a need for him to go there.
Hadith - Tirmidhi and Ahmad, Narrated AbudDarda'
Allah's Messenger said: Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, has ordained for
every servant amongst His creation five things: his death, his action, his
abode, the places of his moving about and his means of sustenance.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #5758, Narrated AbuHurayrah
When Allah's Messenger was asked when the office of Prophet had been
established for him, he replied, "When Adam had not yet had his spirit
joined to his body.
[Tirmidhi transmitted it]
Hadith - Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah, Narrated 'Aisha
I heard Allah's Messenger saying: He who discusses about the Divine Decree
(al-Qadr) will be answerable for it on the Day of Resurrection and he who
observes silence about it, will not be answerable for it.
The Noble Qur'an - Ya-Sin 36:67
And if it had been Our Will, We could have transformed them (into animals or
lifeless objects) in their places. Then they should have been unable to go
forward (move about) nor they could have turned back. [As it happened with
the Jews - see Verse 7:166 - The Qur'an]
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi, Narrated Thawban [Transmitted by Ibn Majah.]
Allah's Messenger said: "Only supplication averts the decree, only kindness
prolongs life, and a man is deprived of provision for a fault he commits."
Hadith - Al-Muwatta 46.4
Yahya related to me from Malik from Ziyad ibn Sad from Amr ibn Muslim that
Tawus al-Yamani said, "I found some of the companions of the Messenger of
Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, saying 'Everything is by
decree.' " Tawus added, "I heard Abdullah ibn Umar say that The Messenger of
Allah said, 'Everything is by decree - even incapacity and ability,' (or
'ability and incapacity')."
Hadith - al-Tirmidhi # 2151. [Classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 1/699, and
al-Dhahabi agreed with him. It was classed as hasan by al-Haafiz ibn Hajar
in Fath al-Baari, 11/184]
The happiness of the son of Adam depends on his being content with what
Allah has decreed for him, and the misery of the son of Adam results from
his failure to pray istikhaarah, and the misery of the son of Adam results
from in his discontent with what Allah has decreed for him.
INSHALLAH THIS WILL BE BENEFIT FOR ALL...
WASLAAM
.:|:.DEVINE DECREE & PREDESTINATION.:|:.
Q.#11126
Why will we be brought to account for things that are already written for us?
I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW, IF "ALLAH" HAS YOUR FATE WRITTEN ALREADY AND IN YOUR KISMAT IT SAYS
YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE HOW DO YOU STOP THIS AND WHY SHOULD YOU BE PUNISHED FOR THIS AS THERE IS NO WAY U CAN STOP IT FROM HAPPENING.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has decreed what He has decreed. One of the pillars of faith is to believe in al-qadaa’ wa’l-qadar (the Divine will and decree). Allaah has created people and He knows what they are going to do, because of His vast knowledge. He has given His slaves freedom of will, and has shown us the right path, so whoever does good, it is for his own benefit, and whoever does evil, it will count against him. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning);
“So whoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it.
And whoever does evil equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant), shall see it.”
[al-Zalzalah 99:7-8]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“By Nafs (Adam or a person or a soul), and Him Who perfected him in proportion;
Then He showed him what is wrong for him and what is right for him.
Indeed he succeeds who purifies his ownself (i.e. obeys and performs all that Allâh ordered…).
And indeed he fails who corrupts his ownself (i.e. disobeys what Allâh has ordered …).”
[al-Shams 91:7-10]
So it is not permissible for him to harm anyone unjustly, whether by killing or in any other way. Whoever does that deserves punishment in this world, and torment in the Hereafter, for going against the laws decreed by Allaah.
Shaykh Waleed al-Firyaan
**
how does islam view destiny and fate ?
Praise be to Allaah.
Belief in destiny and fate is one of the basic beliefs of Islam. It means that Allaah is the Knower of all things and the Creator of all things; nothing exists outside of His will and decree. He wrote down all things with Him in al-Lawh al-Mahfooz (the Preserved Tablet), and this was fifty thousand years before He created the universe. Everything in the universe, every creature and the things it does, is the creation of Allaah. Whatever He wills happens, and whatever He does not will does not happen. If something happens to a person, it could not have missed him, and if something does not happen to him, it could not have happened to him. A person is not forced to obey or disobey Allaah – he has free will as befits his state, but it is subject to the will of the Creator. And Allaah knows best..**
**THIS WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION INSHALLAH!!
IS ONE'S LIFE PARTNER CHOSEN BY ONESELF OR DECREED BY ALLAH?
**
q.1804
What does Islam say about life partner,,,is she/he fixed by Allah or Allah has left it for us to decided?
Praise be to Allaah.
First of all, we should realize that there is no contradiction between our belief that Allaah has decreed everything, and our belief that He has given us free will which enables us to do things. Confirming the free will of His slaves, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "To whomsoever among you wills to walk straight" [al-Takweer 81:28]
Our will operates within the will of Allaah, not outside of it, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "But you cannot will, unless Allaah wills…" [al-Insaan 76:30] Thus it is not permitted to try to cancel one idea out with the other, or to deny either of them. Allaah has confirmed both, that man has the power to choose, and that nothing can operate outside of His Will, may He be glorified.
If we apply this to the question asked, we will see that man has freedom of will through which he can choose whichever woman he wishes to marry, and that whatever choice he makes has already been decreed by Allaah. The man’s choice is the means by which he gets what he wants, but some obstacles may come between the person and what he wants, in which case he will realize that Allaah has not decreed this for him, for some reason which is known to Him. Everything that Allaah does is good, and His slaves do not have knowledge of the Unseen or of how things will end. A person may regret missing out on something when it is good that he did not have it, or he may hate something that happens to him when it is good that it happened to him, as Allaah tells us (interpretation of the meaning): "… it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allaah knows but you do not know." [al-Baqarah 2:216]
Thanks for all the information guys/gals, very helpful.
Marriages ARE made in heaven and marriage IS one of the things that is predestined in Islam. :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by moona: *
Marriages ARE made in heaven and marriage IS one of the things that is predestined in Islam. :)
[/QUOTE]
Moona, if this is entirely true, then how do you explain divorce, or people who never marry, or even unlawful marriages between Muslims and Hindus?
Freto, I'm not God. He would be the best one to answer that question. Great question though. All I can say is that there definitely is more than one partner out there for each person. That much I do believe. But still that doesn't answer your question. Hmmm! Interesting query, Freto!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by moona: *
Marriages ARE made in heaven and marriage IS one of the things that is predestined in Islam. :)
[/QUOTE]
*In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful. *
002.221: Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.
004.025: If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
005.005: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
033.049: O ye who believe! When ye marry believing women, and then divorce them before ye have touched them, no period of 'Iddat have ye to count in respect of them: so give them a present. And set them free in a handsome manner.
033.052: It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (as handmaidens): and Allah doth watch over all things.
060.010: O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees, examine (and test) them: Allah knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent (on their dower), and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them. But hold not to the guardianship of unbelieving women: ask for what ye have spent on their dowers, and let the (Unbelievers) ask for what they have spent (on the dowers of women who come over to you). Such is the command of Allah: He judges (with justice) between you. And Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom.
Narrated by Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
And you claim that
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by moona: *
Marriages ARE made in heaven and marriage IS one of the things that is predestined in Islam. :)
[/QUOTE]
Choosing a partner for marriage is a trial itself and you will be questioned for the reason you chose the person you wanted to marry!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Faisal: *
I believe you are referring to the oft-repeated statement "jooray to aasmaano mein bantay hein" which roughly translates to "couples are identified in the heavens (before we are born)".
As muslim, you must have heard of "Imaan-i-Mufassil", closest translation:
**I believe in Allah, in His angels, in His books, in His messengers, in the Last Day, and in the fact that everything, good or bad is decided by Allah, the Almighty, and in life after death.
** Therefore, its all ordained, and that also applies to your spouse or perspective spouse.
[/QUOTE]
In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.
042.030: Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because on the things your hands have wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness.
This is clearly mentioned in The Quran & you mentioned this "and in the fact that everything, good or bad is decided by Allah". Isn't there a contradiction here?
Faisal, may I ask the source of this Iman Mufassil please..
FWIW i won't 'discuss' it.. heaven forbid we discuss beliefs in here.. that belongs in the Cafe'.