Re: marriage and sects!
hmmm people are allowed to hold weddings during the month of moharram in Pakistan. Many many people deliberately keep weddings on 9th or 10th of Moharram and no body stops them. One of my cousin's cousin got married in the month of moharram and I know a few other people too who got married in the month of moharram.
Re: marriage and sects!
im not saying its impossible.. but its frowned upon in our society.. just look at how its being discussed that you cant even watch a movie in moharam especialy the 10th.. jeez.
i know this first hand planning my own wedding.. the only time my family and his were getting a good time frame in our busy schedules was during moharam but we just couldnt go ahead and do the wedding then cuz whoever heard of our plans did a lot of bukbuk bout how its just not an auspicious time and how its a sad month 
Re: marriage and sects!
I was a firm believer that marriages held in Rabi ul awal are blessed. My marriage took place in rabi ul awal too and I was so wrong. My cousin's cousin who got married in Moharram is masha allah masha allah so happily married. What is meant to happen will happen because nothing works infront of Allah's will. My inlaws had this concept of ek chaand aur do chaand for months too which till now I do not understand and yes charta chaand ki tareekh etc . These things are baseless.
The thing is just to have respect for that month that's it ! because no matter what anybody believes are we can not ignore what happened during those 10 days , how brutal it was and who suffered that brutality . Khair , it's just my point of view. It's best not to have an argument over religion and respect everyone's sentiments.
Re: marriage and sects!
the OP wasn't asking which sect is right...whether to convert to shia or not. the OP was wondering if her marriage with this guy will work...and based on what she told us about having fought with him over ONE day (whether it was 10th moharram or the death annversary of the MIL'S goldfish is irrelevent) its obviously not gonna work cuz marriage requires the couple to respect each other's parents' beliefs and have regard for their way of life. its that simple.
Re: marriage and sects!
thanks alot for the replies. i know most of the ppl are pretty angry at me cause of the fight about the dinner. well we all make mistakes and i made one. it happens. i learned and ever since then we never fough on this topic.
i just dont know what it would be like being married.
we;re together since 2 years and its always the same. religion doesnt make any difference:s but would it once we're married?
Re: marriage and sects!
It may well do once you have children and with regards to bringing them up etc.
Re: marriage and sects!
When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point? And for a while, I believed, that's the kind of love I had.
[quote="robby, post:54, topic:224652"]
So what exactly are you trying to imply, One thing i can never understand why do individuals like you try to impose there belief system on others, what might be crap for you might not be crap to someone else this is no way to get someone to agree! All you will ever achieve this way is aggravation of someone's emotions and sentiments. If you don't agree with something just say you don't there is no need to call someone else's belief system crap, rubbish or anything else as no one is forcing you to believe what they are believing. As far as I know and most people will agree mutual respect one of the main lessons of Islam, It is with our actions how we can change people no one will ever listen to a person or take there opinions seriously if all they are hearing are obscenities about what they believe.
QUOTE]
its not my belief. i dont pick and choose or sometimes make up my own belief. its a FACT that there is no such thing as majlis', khatums, barsis, etc etc etc in ISLAM. so yes, its all indo-pak made up crap. its not islam. it pisses me off cuz even though its not in islam, we still cant hold weddings in pakistan during the month of moharam cuz of PPL. not allah, but mere human beings.
im not trying to change anyone nor care ... ppl can believe in whatever they wanna believe. was just stating a fact.
:) peace.
we can go on and on ... but then feel free to open another thread as i dont wanna ruin this one for the OP
So even before knowing what I or others believe in you assumed that I and others generally pick ,choose or at times make up our own belief systems how obscure of you:].
Not once did I say you were correct or incorrect so your argument on that is irrelevant as far as I am concerned. Although one of the facts which Islam emphasis on which I guess you have totally chosen not to pick, or chose and simply ignored is respecting and treating people nicely.
If you wanted to get married in Muharram you should have done it, you should not care what people say or frown upon as long as you are satisfied. You said yourself aforesaid events were desi so they should really not concern you. Although desi people have every right to live there lives like they wish to just like you have. What gives you the right to call someone's belief system crap even if it is wrong its because of people like you even those who would listen end up not listening. why would they change if you are insulting them or there, belief.
I think its not that you just dont agree with those people in Pakistan, you look down upon them, for some reason you feel you are superior to them but sad reality and fact of the matter is that you are a desi and no matter how crap you feel your culture and your people are you will remain one of them. You should try and accept who you are, learn to love and respect your people maybe they might listen to you for a change and no all conversations will turn into arguments.
Regards
Re: marriage and sects!
Moharram is a sacred and holy month for both sects...we are sunnis but we follow the ahtraam of this month....9th and 10th moharram are sad days in islamic history...no argue about it...its no big deal if you miss a dinner for it....ur MIL dint ask u to cancel it...they just asked to postpone it....from ur posts i have concluded that u and ur family acts very immaturely....first make up ur mind that u ppl want to carry on this relationship or not....dont waste urs and ur inlaws time in finding excuses and lingering the relationship for no good....if u ppl cannot take it along....break it then and there!
p.s. there was no need to fight with him if he wasnt taking u out for the dinner on 10th...instead 11th....he really needs a break from your immature behavior....girlie grow up!!!!
Re: marriage and sects!
I think if they/your fiance are not practicing, then you shouldn't really have an issue. Except maybe when you have kids and your hubby decides he wants them to follow his school of thoughts regardless of how religious he is, then you might have a problem there depending on how practicing/open you are.
As for Muharram, it is a sacred month for most muslims, so even if you dont believe in it, you should respect his beliefs.
Re: marriage and sects!
This is the first shia-sunni marriage Im seeing.
Re: marriage and sects!
I'll say what I said in other thread, if your basic beliefs don't match with your partner to be, sooner or later you will end up fighting=divorce and/or your children's spiritual life will end up in pieces.
:k:
its not my belief. i dont pick and choose or sometimes make up my own belief. its a FACT that there is no such thing as majlis', khatums, barsis, etc etc etc in ISLAM. so yes, its all indo-pak made up crap. its not islam. it pisses me off cuz even though its not in islam, we still cant hold weddings in pakistan during the month of moharam cuz of PPL. not allah, but mere human beings.
im not trying to change anyone nor care ... ppl can believe in whatever they wanna believe. was just stating a fact.
:) peace.
we can go on and on ... but then feel free to open another thread as i dont wanna ruin this one for the OP
1)Not really, these are your understanding of 'facts', hence simply your opinion/beliefs.
2)No, they are not limited to indo/pak region, hence your facts are slightly out of place...which makes your 'opinion' all the more worst.
3) No you're not trying to change anyone, just slating thier beliefs as 'crap' and then pretending you come in peace. Utter rubbish if i ever saw it.
4) if you want to celebrate 10th muharram, go ahead, but dont go around insulting other people who chose to mourn that month.
Re: marriage and sects!
Its a disaster when two sects come together in marriage. The most affected are the children. They don't know what to follow so they don't follow anything. Especially between sunni and shia.
Re: marriage and sects!
yup
Re: marriage and sects!
Just to point out i wouldn't marry a Shia as i am a very firm Sunni believer.
You don't properly follow Islam so what do you care about him being a different sect! Marry him! Do whatever....i dont want to waste my time commenting on your reply!
Re: marriage and sects!
some of the replies are hilarious and irrogant. pretty sad!