lol i have a teensy little problem with people who quote "oh alan sugar didn't go to school but he's soooo successful" there is probably a 0.0001% chance that the person you're about to seek out as a potential rishta will be the next alan sugar or bill gates etc lets be realistic. so chances are people who have that preference will want someone with a recognised qualification. as stated above, if the person has a master's and wants someone with a master's too then it makes sense. i think most people are okay with just a bachelors but it comes down to personal preference. again, qualification > personality then that's all about preference too just be ready to deal with a lot of crap if it comes to it.
Then by that logic desi girls who prefer a man with a masters degree over someone with a bachelors degree is like expecting to have the man with a master degree some how become the next bill gates. See this desire and this lust for a little bit of wealth than a bachelors degree guy is causing a huge problem. They're willing to overlook everything if the guy just makes a little bit more money. Which is absurd in its entirety. It's not as if that the guy works in McDonalds and can't afford anything. Its the desire for wealth above the desire to live a life happily. It's sickening, how can people think in such a manner.
Believe it or not...ridiculous stuff happens. At the end of the day..everyone is trying to look after their son or daughter or themselves. I was literally told on my face that..i was uneducated because i do not have masters..in clean slate words. And since she didn't have bachelors or diploma it was ok for some reason to find someone with masters. Education is important..but not to an extent you make ridiculous demands. School isn't for everybody..and certainly it wasn't for me...so after getting a basic degree...i worked my way through my career..and now i am competing to become assistant director within year or two insha'allah.
Believe it or not...ridiculous stuff happens. At the end of the day..everyone is trying to look after their son or daughter or themselves. I was literally told on my face that..i was uneducated because i do not have masters..in clean slate words. And since she didn't have bachelors or diploma it was ok for some reason to find someone with masters. Education is important..but not to an extent you make ridiculous demands. School isn't for everybody..and certainly it wasn't for me...so after getting a basic degree...i worked my way through my career..and now i am competing to become assistant director within year or two insha'allah.
Exactly, you can end up in a dead end job even with a masters degree. The desire to succeed doesn't always come up with a masters degree. Its inherent and those who are going to succeed will do so no matter what the odds are. This is an important lesson that must be taught to desi community as a whole.
^Another important factor is the discipline which that degree is in. While on a deeper level I do believe that all education has value, realistically speaking, there are certain disciplines in which advanced degrees are not terribly useful in practice and do not provide much benefit in terms of career.
^Another important factor is the discipline which that degree is in. While on a deeper level I do believe that all education has value, realistically speaking, there are certain disciplines in which advanced degrees are not terribly useful in practice and do not provide much benefit in terms of career.
Sadly most parents don't see the dicipline, they just see a piece of paper that says how much a guy makes. They might as well hand their daughters to butchers.
One lady I know who has an MBA from a top US school only wants a husband who went to a top school. Doesn't matter that she is divorced and 46 years old.
Her divorce and her age doesn't make her any less of a person.
Sometimes I feel as if the Pakistani community as a whole does not care about well mannered people. Its about superficial status parade. The person in question is in the process of getting their masters degree. But the thing that bothers me is that the rishta was refused right off the bat only because there wasn't a masters degree. The other person in question also has a stable job and makes a decent salary but the very first requirement was a masters degree.
I wonder what happened to the people who actually looked at the humanistic qualities of a person rather than their bank statements. She is willing to marry anyone or give a chance to anyone if they have a masters degree, even that person be a complete psychopath. Sickens me to the core that people don't respect love anymore. Love is a term thrown around these days. People used to say "its only found in books" they were 100% correct. Today people practice is selfish love, they love the skin which covers the hideous bones and muscle. This is how deep our love goes...
I have completely given up hope that there is anyone out there that geniunely loves a person for who they really are. I think its the society that we live in, it has made us that way. Glamor on TV and renunciation of religion and morals have degraded us to superficial beings. We want to construct castles empty and hollow just so we can stuff it with materialistic things but we're willing to live inside those empty castles without love and care because we have stopped caring for ourselves and start caring for what others think of us.
It boggles my mind that people who don't have a masters degree don't even have the right to an audience with ones parents, what kind of shallow pathetic people are these that only look at ones mere educational level to judge their character with. What pathetic people indeed.
if you are taking about the whole community i would say you are making great generalizations here.
where have you seen girls marrying even a psychopath who have a master's degree or is making good money?
and you talk about Love? how can you ascertain about this love thing when you are marrying someone via an arranged marriage route? Love is, and realistically speaking can never be a deciding factor for an arranged marriage. if a proposal comes for any girl, how would she know at that time whether the guy would give her true love or not? only the things that can be determined, becomes the deciding factors to accept or refuse. and those things include your family, your qualification,your job, your personality, your standing in a social circle, the reputation of you and your family etc.
and honestly speaking, i have never seen a family or a girl whose only criteria for a husband is Master's degree. it is always a mix of things, Master's degree can be one of the criteria but not the only criteria. and if someone is looking for a guy with a certain type of degree provided that the girl herself carries an equivalent degree, i think it is all fair if she refuses someone on that basis.
beyond that obviously there are going to be different types of concerns based on earning potential and standing of a degree in the country/community
an undergrad in a technology discipline from Stanford in US is different than BA home economics from khatoon e pakistan college or BCom from Allama Iqbal college, or BA in liberal arts from podunk city college in backwaterville USA
this is correct. and my advice to girls is to look for a professionally qualified guy instead of a guy with any masters degree. A guy with double M.A. in Urdu literature or English literature or library science is no good in the corporate market out there. My advice is only for the girls for whom qualification is a key factor.
One lady I know who has an MBA from a top US school only wants a husband who went to a top school. Doesn't matter that she is divorced and 46 years old.
Maybe she's fine to compromise on other things?
Everyone has different priorities.. In our family it's unusual to compromise on education** if** it's not a love a marriage but we tend to be much more flexible on other things.. We don't give any importance to caste and are less concerned about a person's language and roots.. If someone is ambitious and put a lot of time and effort into their academic achievements I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing if they want a partner similar to themselves..
Ask for it if you got one yourself. If not, GTFOH!
I don't know if even this is a valid statement.
There are unmarried women I know that are in their mid 30's and when a rishta is offered to them they will turn it down without even asking any other details if the guy doesn't have a Masters or PhD.
While these ladies may have book smarts (and I'm not even sure that having a Masters means that you have book smarts) and even mediocre careers (cuz it's not like their degrees have gotten them $250K salaries or the title of VP), they seem to be oblivious to the fact that the clock is ticking and at some point or other they will have to compromise on something.
There is definitely personal choice involved but if it's to the detriment of other things that contribute to the quality of life then you have to question the person's priorities.
^ The funny thing is that at age 32 they will find a guys with a Masters or PhD...Who won't respect them or their families, and treat them like s**t.
I have a friend who wanted to marry a beautiful guy...had to be tall, built, light skinned, and good looking (her description). She rejected many guys because they weren't what she wanted and got married around 31. Now she is married to a decent looking guy (thinks and dresses like he is in his 20...but actually is 30+).. Who has been divorced and has a child from the first marriage as well. BUT i guess looks were what she wanted and what she got. They are having issues over light stuff like moving to a bigger house (which the guy said he can't afford) the in-laws are too much for the girl to handle etc.
@ all drop out billionaires. I actually planned to drop out of my school too following foot steps of these billionaires but was unable to coz my class was on first floor and I could not drop any further than that.
On serious note, how many bill gates or zukerburgh world have? when I calculated % of 25 dropout billionaires in the world its coming out to 4.76148638e-7. Their never-say-never should be the model to follow and not their dropping out.
Right balance is always somewhere in the middle. I am a fierce advocate of both at least finishing graduation.
Since mostly guy is the breadwinner of the family, there is no harm in making sure that guy is educated and if not highly educated at least he is capable of doing good that in fact is even more important.
Then aren’t we to blame for reinforcing the idea that women should depend on men forever? There should be room for either party to go out and be the breadwinner. Wouldn’t that be a win-win situation? And like pwner said, it is also then completely justifiable for men to reject girls for being Kali, Moti, or ugly.
Then aren't we to blame for reinforcing the idea that women should depend on men forever? There should be room for either party to go out and be the breadwinner. Wouldn't that be a win-win situation? And like pwner said, it is also then completely justifiable for men to reject girls for being Kali, Moti, or ugly.
off course I am not against keeping in mind your personal preference while looking for better half. Be it education, complexion or whatever. There is nothing wrong in it.
and yeah there should be room for both parties to go out and earn or make a career. I am really for women education and totally against girl getting married at least before graduation.
@ all drop out billionaires. I actually planned to drop out of my school too following foot steps of these billionaires but was unable to coz my class was on first floor and I could not drop any further than that.