Farisha, I understand your worries and sentiments I am 24 turning 25 this June. It is very hard for Pakistani/Indian girls who are above the “expiration date” of finding rishta’s that are a balance of what we want and what the other side wants. Many blame the girl of being picky, choosy or proud but what many don’t understand is that this is your ENTIRE life you are deciding on, not just the first 5 years. Personally, few rishta’s have come that have PhD’s while others had a Master’s in Electrical Engineering. There were some who rejected me because I was too tall for their son (never knew 5’8” was that tall!), some rejected me because I was not pretty enough for their son who is always buying the best things from duabi and so forth, others I rejected because one wonders why in the world is that auntie’s son still doing his bachelor’s at the age of 30! If I am not settling for a bachelor’s for myself why would I consider someone who doesn’t want a master’s himself? (We did ask those with a bachelor’s if they were going to consider a master’s and their response was “no, bachelor’s is fine for me”)
The mother-in-law’s believe that their son is of such high stature that he should get the best of everything in life. The girl must be bone skinny, she must be fair, she must be highly educated, she must work, she must have a strong financial background. Don’t I have the right to be picky as well if they are to judge my appearance, my family, my background? Where is the justice in all of this? Mother-in-law’s were once daughters too, how can they forget that so easily. It is a sin for a daughter to be born into the house of Pakistani/Indian family. It does not matter how many things she handles and cares for nothing will equal the joy of having / raising a son.
There was a point in my life when I could have cared less about marriage and what other people thought of me but the gossips of some women just hurt too much to not be affected by it. All I can say to you is have yakeen in your heart, the most profound faith and trust you can ever garner, that Allah will provide you with a husband who will truly make you happy and love you from the heart regardless of how you look or how much money your parents have. Continuously pray whenever you have the chance, especially when it rains!, for whatever qualities you wish for in a husband and inshallah your duas will be answered.
Sorry for the long post.