Why is age difference kept in a marriage? Whatever opinion you hold, please support your opinion with logical comments.
Re: Marriage
VERY old fashioned logic as explained to me for younger girls and older guys…
younger girls are more pliable… they can be easily moulded into the shape their husbands and their husband’s families want them to be-- then theres no dissent, argument, or talking back because they haven’t fully formed opinions on much themselves. they’re also considered better looking and more likely to bear healthier/more children than someone “older”. men are meant to be the wiser ones and the providers, so therefore they need to be older, so they’ve completed their education, and have good jobs, and can therefore give their wives everything so the wives can stay home and have the kids and look after the hubby and in-laws. older girls are more likely to not take crap from their husbands and be on a more equal level, but of course, the “wiser” male isn’t interested, plus everyone knows older girls are “suspicious goods”… why are they still unmarried? whats wrong with them? etc. 
now, remember, this is really OLD-TIME thinking- altho unfortunately, some of it, i’ve seen in practice with people i know, some i’ve heard of, and not a lot i personally agree with. so hrm, perhaps not as old-fashioned as it should be?
Re: Marriage
SGC even though you think its old fashioned thinking its still being practiced in lots of households!
Re: Marriage
I guess I broke with tradition once again - as I am a little older than my dear hub... Its not a problem except that I do get a bit self-consious about it occasionally.
But it usually is the other way round - the wife younger or same age as hubby. I think in part, its because men age better than women do. Even tho their life spans are a little shorter, a man can be considered virile and attractive well into his senior citizen years (ala Sean Connery in his 70s for example). Not so with women. There are those like Jane Seymore (still beautiful over age 50) but once she reaches 60 that will likely fade.
Aside from looks and aging, I think its also a woman needs to be younger and more energetic than the guy because it is so very physically demanding to raise the kiddies. I'm not saying that guys have it easy or easier than the gal but it IS very demanding and draining of physical and emotional stamina to be the mom.
Re: Marriage
I agree that it's because the husband shold to some extent be the wiser of the couple, to be able to have more worldly knowledge and experience, although in today's society this is likely to be equal to that of his wife.
You can tell the difference though, when it's the other way round - like my BIL and his new wife - she is about 2 years older than her husband, and he was only 21 when they married, and they are just so different...and in a disadvantaged way they lack the maturity, knowledge and wiseliness required in a marriage. It may just be the actual ages of this couple tht makes the difference....but I don't know...in my traditional thinking, I do believe that it's better if the husband is more worldly and able to take ownership and responsibility in the marriage.
Having said that though, maybe it's still possible for the younger hubby to be more worldly etc...say if he's from the west and she is from the east??
A younger husband isn't frowned upon in Islam...so our people can't fight that corner!!!
Re: Marriage
well if we look at it from a scientific view, girls mature and develop earlier than guys during the teenage years and so when there is a bit of an age difference where the girl is 2 or 3 years younger than the guy their maturity level is the same.
Re: Marriage
i'm a year and a half older than my husband.. maybe its not enough to make a difference, but we're doing well MA :)
we seem to be on the same par as far as living our lives and all that stuff... i guess it depends on each individual couple and their experiences.
Re: Marriage
Why is age difference kept in a marriage? Whatever opinion you hold, please support your opinion with logical comments.
There should be no difference of age in marriage. It is not necessary supports neither stability nor happiness. It is culture, which suggests atleast 5 year of difference between husband and wife, do not know their reasoning.
Re: Marriage
Why is age difference kept in a marriage? Whatever opinion you hold, please support your opinion with logical comments.
Could it be that younger women are hot and can do more..
Re: Marriage & age difference
Some men like torturing women, we tolerate the torture and stress out and get wrinklyfied , thats why the age gap is introduced, since ladies age much quicker than men.
Then again maybe not!
Re: Marriage & age difference
hmm i didnt get ur point
Re: Marriage & age difference
my parents has age difference of 10 years!!!
i have a big date range of girls to look into!!
Re: Marriage & age difference
yeah I know you future wife could be 11 year old today.
How gross are you chintu??
Re: Marriage & age difference
hes a coupla years older than me, i think 6....
Re: Marriage & age difference
as long as you guys get along age shouldnt really be an issue, unless of course he's the age of ur father ( trust me I know a couple with 20 years of age difference and he treats her like a child at times but it's a non asian couple)
Re: Marriage & age difference
oh really:eek:
Re: Marriage & age difference
hi Aisha,
women and men as paertners in a marriage must be able to grow together so ideally not too big of a difference. ideally, equal age is better.
this myth that men are better settled when they are in their 30s and 40s, is a very subtle dual way to keep young women from being equal partners with their husband.
but then, each to her or his own until they see the consequences of age differences themselves.
no one should have to marry and baby sit somone's daughter or son who are alot young like almost half a decade of a decade than the other spouse.
best,
Dushwari
Re: Marriage & age difference
thank you for your input dushwari jee
Re: Marriage & age difference
If the girl is young like in her late teens or early 20’s then someone closer to her age maybe couple of years older but in the same decade:)…but if the girl is in late twenties to 30’s then age shouldnt matter that much..and Im not saying that she should marry a grandpa:cb:…but basically by that time she is well aware of what she likes characteristic wise.
Re: Marriage & age difference
I think it just depends upon the individual.
Like for me personally i always wanted an older husband-but thats just how i am-my husbands 13 years older than me but the age gap doesnt make a difference to us. Its abt personal choice and preference.