okay this is obviously a topic that the east and the west have its differences and every culture thinks differently
In the UK people are now waiting till there 30s and 40s to get married, although this can later cause problems with concieving.
Whilst in pakistan there are people as young as 16 with children of their own, especially girls although there can be some pressure on guys too
Now the difference are bount to happen, but what is really strange is the attitude towards it. I know a couple of my goray friends were talkin about someone getting married at 24 and how it was really young and how they would never be able to give up their freedom at such a young age:bummer:
Now I’ve even had a pakistani friends married by the age of 16 and recently a couple of my friends got married at 19 and 20 too.
I personally think I wouldnt get married until I had finished my education and my parents have no problem with this but I know there are those who get engaged or married whilst studying and their parents are the ones that insist upon it. isnt it harder to handle domestic life and education? then again it’sprobably not that different to a 9-5 job
Okay so the questions remains:
what do people in general mean when they say ‘marriagable age?’
what would u define as marriagable age?
are men likely to get married at an older age?
and is there an equal pressure put of girls and boys in asian communities to get married at a certain age? and if so why? :rotato:
and the age old question: is there pressure put on men to get married after a certain time? or is it just that they can get their parents to do delay it for longer?
marriageable age is whatever age when you're ready... not your family or your friends or elders or whomever--- when YOU'RE ready.
ideally, sure it would be nice to have kids while you're in your 20's- for women thats the most fertile time biologically. sometimes things don't work out that way - you dont meet anyone you like/is suitable and it is what it is but it doesn't mean you have to rush into a marriage though.
sometimes its very hard to handle domestic life and education but if you have an understanding husband phir everything works out for you.
p.s…marriage is something that a person should decide for themselves ..its not something you can just try for a while…its a lifetime commitment so whenever you are ready then get married…dont care about people telling you ohhhhh ur too old now should get married…all that is crap…i got married when i was 21…all my american freinds thought i was crazy but i knew k its not crazy…it was the right time and the right decision for me.
Here is what I think about the east and west situation.
I think the reason marriage in west is done late in years is because they are not raised to think about it from get go. Priorities are always on job and career. Moreover, most of the families that live together have elders and there is always the pressure of grand kids. When you have small family, the pressure seem to go away and focus on different things like career. The opnions are discussed rather as a polling.
I think because in east the families are so close together the marriage issue by elders is soon to be brought up because they want to see their grand kids. They are getting old and do not want to miss out on their son/ daughter marriage.
I do not think the career is the reason to delay a marriage. Most of the people continue their job and education after marriage. Some get married during it. If it comes to one person it is hard to define the age and time to get married. Most of the time it is done on the interference and influence by the elders.
MWAP has the right ideas here. I mean in the west, a newly married couple traditionally sets up their own household completely separate from the extended family. So they HAVE to be financially capable of doing this. Many want to start out with a house rather than an apartment and this further delays things.
In the east, its much more accepted and easier to get married and have the wife move in with the husbands parents. So even if they're both still students, they have much less to worry about financially. Its much more "do-able" to get married at a younger age over there.
Which way is better? Thats completely individual IMHO. Some are ready at age 16 and some are not quite ready even in their early 30s. I've seen both. But I have to say that I dont think I was really mature until I was in my 30s. ANYway, the person I admire most on this planet aside from my Dad is my hubby's sister. She got married at age 16 as she wanted, she had 4 children and she is the best mother, wife, housekeeper, hostess, gardener etc. And to top it off, she's as beautiful as Catherine Zeta-Jones. She was so young when she married and had her children that she will see them well into their own marriages and be able to truly enjoy her grandchildren. And since she SO enjoys who she is and what she does, she just brings sunshine where ever she goes. So its not always a bad thing when someone marries so young.
I think a big reason is women getting more progressive in terms of their education and careers. Back when women didn't really even go to college in America, they married pretty young. Getting married at 18-20 was common here in the US. Men generally married at any age - as long as you had something in your pocket. That concept is pretty similar to what you see in Pakistan.
When women get more educated, they're spending TIME in education. Careers often result. Time is spent developing that career. Then with this phenomenon, you have the "Enjoy your singles life while it lasts" and "Baby, you've come a long way" type of culture. Hence women are getting married later.
Since you don't have fresh 18 year olds blushing and batting their eyelashes trying to get proposals, that leaves 18 year old guys having to wait until they're a little older to get married.
In the US, the college culture is different. You are considered half an adult when you're in college. Old enough to drink and get trashed at a bar, not old enough to start a family. Not that its RIGHT. But that's just the mentality. In Pakistan, a college boy is seen as more of an adult.
what do people in general mean when they say 'marriagable age?’
everyone has their own opinion as to what a marriageable age is. what would u define as marriagable age?a marriageable age in my opinion would be whenever a person is physically and mentally ready to be married. are men likely to get married at an older age?
I think in general men tend to get married at an age in which they are financially stable however the age at which men get married also varies from culture to culture as well. and is there an equal pressure put of girls and boys in asian communities to get married at a certain age? and if so why? :rotato:
from what I have seen…YES there is an equal pressure put on both males and females among desi’s to get married at a certain age. Why? well because the main reason is to prevent them from going off and finding someone on their own (which may be ok with some parents.. as long as it’s done the Islamic way) and perhaps evening engaging in pre-marital relations. and the age old question: is there pressure put on men to get married after a certain time? or is it just that they can get their parents to do delay it for longer?
I think guys can possibly get away with delaying marriage …simply because they are guys
then again it’sprobably not that different to a 9-5 job
