Re: Marital Issues
I would never discuss marital issues with my parents or friends. I don't like to bother parents with my problems because I know they'll take stress over them and I don't share my problems with friends because it literally takes a second for a friend to change into a foe.
If things get too much into my head I just vent in my blog because no one here really knows me but otherwise everything remains between me and my hubby or my sister who is also my best friend.
I wish I didn't have to go "outside" but mine doesn't even talk to me! I give him his space, but he doesn't end up telling me anything. :(
I also think that in our culture we TAUGHT to don't talk about personal business with anyone. I guess it works in marriages where there is an you and your spouse talk to each other everyday and discuss things.
However I have seen many women feel so LONELY and HELPLESS about things like abusive relationships, husbands not giving money or time to the family, selling assets without the wives approaval. Since the women are taught never to discuss anything - they don't and keep on living the way that they are.
They don't talk to their parents or siblings or friends. They bottle up everything inside of them. (I think that's unhealthy)
I think if you don't have that type of relatiohsip with your spouse (and there SOOO many marriages in Pakistan that are this way) - it's okay to share what you are going thorugh IMO.
Your right NJGAL. It has to be a 2 way street of communication & thinking between spouses for this to work. If one spouse is too domineering, then yeah you need to vent. Again you need to be careful who you vent to....because a small issue can easily be blown out of proportion in a matter of secs.
Re: Marital Issues
If you share with your parents, even when you guys resolve the issue, they might remember it for a long time.
If you share with your sister, she might get worried and tell mom.
If you share with a friend, she could use the info against you in a bad time or tell other people.
You have to do your own cost-benefit analysis--if you feel someone is trustworthy, then go with your gut. We can't just live our lives in fear of being hurt, otherwise no one would ever have any friends. My married friend has started to tell me some stuff and she is not a talkative type at all-it's just that her hubby does the silent treatment instead of trying to fix the problem. The funny thing is I usually make a big production of coming to her place and taking her to the movies and then he finally gets jealous and misses her.
Anyway I think talking to people online is not a bad idea. You get a wide range of opinions, more honest than in real life, and you maintain your anonymity. Just remember that most people don't come on here to post about how awesome their life is...so you will get a disproportionate # of negative opinions.