Manners 101

S02 · November 7, 2005, 4:00am

Re: Manners 101

^ aw that's really sad. I think I could understand not inviting her to go out and see a movie, but an engagement party is a big event. I would invite my friend -- and if she declined, I would definitely want to know what was up.

WitchDr · November 7, 2005, 2:03pm

Re: Manners 101

Lajawab:

PCG, in my life I have discivered that a person always takes the other person to be as he himself is…What does that mean?

It means a liar will always consider the other a liar and a cheat will always consider the other a cheat and a lazy person will always consider the other a lazy person…
Same goes for everything else, because people tend to think of other people's thinking fom their own way of thinking...

In this case I can tell you, that an arrogant and ill mannered person will always consider the other to be the same...

nomesayin?

I fully subscribe to the above.

Ansoon · November 7, 2005, 2:12pm

Re: Manners 101

PCG, I think what you are going through is very common (and if you are not going through this and its just a senario then still its very common) .. ppl have lives that change.. not everyone is smart to catch up to the challenges right away and everyone has different priorities.. So if your friend is trying to tell you that he/she is busy with something then why feel bad about it?

Did u offer your help to ur friend? did u ask him/her that if there is anyway you can help him/her out with whatever the problem might be? dont' jump the guns..

plus take a hint.. not everyone will like you :P

WitchDr · November 7, 2005, 2:15pm

Re: Manners 101

Why do girls try to get closer to the people who are trying to shrug them off???

Chill! Give people space. If someone is not responding to my invitations, then he/she may not be comfortable with me anymore, for whatever reason. There is a big possibility that I have made a mistake intentionally or unintentionally. I shall look into my own behaviour first.

PCG you are showing a typical desi girl’s personality who assume that all the faults are coming from someone and somewhere else. Be responsible and accountable.

Best regards.

ImranQ · November 7, 2005, 2:25pm

Re: Manners 101

^ u got it right

PyariCgudia · November 7, 2005, 2:44pm

Re: Manners 101

Haha. You guys are acting as if you know which girl's side I'm taking, but khair, that's only to be expected from desis who in turn, also jump the gun.

Follow your own advice?

WitchDr · November 7, 2005, 2:53pm

Re: Manners 101

Does it matter? And who cares!

Mehnaz · November 7, 2005, 3:00pm

Re: Manners 101

PCG, I would ask what problems the girl is having and try and help out whatever way I can .... but if she kept brushing me off, I would do my part to maintain the friendship, meaning I would not start ignoring her but keep it civil and continue to try and keep in touch every once in a while, but I would not rely on her and would make plans without her. She doesn't sound very dependable. If she really wants to maintain the friendship, she will do her part to keep the friendship alive and not shut you out.

AnGeL_EyEs · November 7, 2005, 3:02pm

Re: Manners 101

in this situation i would simply ask.... "are u really that busy or are you avoiding me?"

WitchDr · November 7, 2005, 3:13pm

Re: Manners 101

Jumping the gun examples in bold:

Now we all know** desis **have near-zero manners. Its a fact.

** Situation**:

** You have a best friend** (a girls best friend: Someone who listens with nodding) and you invite him/her to go somewhere (push her to go somewhere she does not want to be) (you two usually hang out (listens to you) on weekends). The best friend says they can’t make it - too much school work.

You say ok. You keep asking(rather pushing), and they keep shooting you down with the too much school work excuse. Now, they also tell you, that frankly, things are not going well at all in terms of grades, job, etc etc. And that they really need to lay off on the partying so that they can get their work done, and as soon as their boat steadies a bit, they’ll call you up and hang out.

What is your response to the situation? Will you continue to stay friends with them? Will you patiently wait until their academic problems go away or are you now thinking “this person hates me”. Will you, dam dam dam…invite them to your wedding?

I’d like to see exactly where the bloody desi mentality is on this one.** Thanks in advance**.

PyariCgudia · November 7, 2005, 3:20pm

Re: Manners 101

Are u high? The parts in bold are part of the scenario given, fictional or factual, its irrelevant. As for desis not having manners...dude, wake up and smell the desi crap.

WitchDr · November 7, 2005, 3:35pm

Re: Manners 101

Thanks!

Now I understand what manners are you talking about.

Those small things are not irrelevant. They help you bring out the truth.

Best regards.

PyariCgudia · November 7, 2005, 3:39pm

Re: Manners 101

shweetdreamz · November 7, 2005, 3:54pm

Re: Manners 101

omg! that scenario totally sounds like me and this other gurl. i have been the one calling her out to hang out with me everytime...we do have a great time when we get time to hang out but she is ALWAYS making up excuses to not come. not only that but she hardly ever calls. and then when i do the same in reply..i.e. never call her..she'll just call outta the blue and ask me 'o god u never call...o god we NEVER get to hang out bla bla" im like 'gurl lets hang out tomorrow if u want to " and she goes "noooooo tomorrow i have to do a,b,c,x,y,z" and then for some reason her whole week is busy....i mean wtf? she doesnt have a job, she doesnt have a boyfriend, and no big social butterfly either..., no family issues either....i guess some people like to 'act' like they are really busy bees...
i was taking her crap all this time but chaand raat was the limit. all my friends confirmed they were showing up and so did she.....chaand raat comes & i call her the whole day and she doesnt pick up and even though i leave her an angry message she calls back at night saying she just got my voice message and its too late she is going home now.ugh i hate people who do that! i mean if u arent planning on showing up please let others know since they are not your slaves waiting for a signal from u we wasted precious minutes waiting for her highness......there is no way in hell i am calling her back OR picking up her calls now....

shweetdreamz · November 7, 2005, 3:56pm

Re: Manners 101

invite her to my wedding? hell yeah!

and then totally ignore her.... :)

PyariCgudia · November 7, 2005, 3:57pm

Re: Manners 101

she doesnt have a job, she doesnt have a boyfriend, and no big social butterfly either..., no family issues either....

Are u sure about that? Some people are just really secretive about what they're doing with their life. You never know.

But yes, def, she should call back if you have left a message, etc.

shweetdreamz · November 7, 2005, 4:08pm

Re: Manners 101

yes i am. before i graduated and both of us were in school we were really close and she did share all her issues with me. as far as i know I have more family issues than her. actually even while in school she mostly called to ask for tips on how to write a paper on such and such, what professor to take, to edit her paper etc etc. i dont mind doing such for friends at all and i fully support her studying hard but i also want to be able to have a great time with friends now and then. sometimes i think people make friends outta convenience and since she is still in school and i am out she has no need to keep in touch.

Mehnaz · November 7, 2005, 4:12pm

Re: Manners 101

She sounds like a user SD.

shweetdreamz · November 7, 2005, 4:15pm

Re: Manners 101

^^ totally...its too bad others saw it before i did that she was a user..:(

PyariCgudia · November 7, 2005, 4:15pm

Re: Manners 101

Yeah if a lot of your meetings with her were over helping her with schoolwork…

That’s why its best to not give too much lift to someone who is always calling you for schoolwork, etc…plenty of such freeloaders around.