Nowadays, we come across few people who doubt one’s manliness when one’s answer is “NO” to their questions like"Do you adopt immoral activities to satisfy your desires while you are alone". Also when with male friends the one who doesn’t want to immorally discuss females is considered less manly. Same people at times contradict themselves and call the same person “A real man” due to his built, height and nature’s gifted good looks.
During teenage, it was drummed into our confused minds by media & friends that a real man is the one with muscular built, with eyes that don’t shed tears but invites opponents for a daring fight (in front of girls). Hence, visiting Gym,…etc. became part of daily routine. But as our exposure expanded, we realized that teary eyes in sincerity/love of Allah (swt), being sensitive, polite, forgiving & caring, controlling one’s anger & immoral desires is what makes a REAL man, as evident from the life of our IDEAL, the ultimate example of a REAL man and a source of inspiration and motivation for everyone.
In past, people used to doubt manlyhood of the soldier who was too scared to fight in a war, having unreasonable excuses/complains & preferred staying at home whining about the condition of the nation, in front of women. But these days, the one who can watch into na-mehram’s eyes in a Besharam (flirtatious) way, or expose his muscles by wearing tight shirt is considered sexy, macho…etc. while others are ‘kids’, sissy, girly…etc. (sorry for the language but that’s how media talk about it) Which is an incorrect standard of judging a man’s manhood, which lies in keeping of one’s gaze low in front of stranger women. Also saving oneself for one’s wife makes one a REAL man.
I might be totally wrong, in that case may Allah (swt) forgive me. Allah (swt) knows BEST! May Allah (swt) bless all Muslim men to follow the example of the REAL man, who is non other than our prophet (saw).
^ Brother, you have mentioned it correctly. Just for your convenience, I am mentioning the exact reference.
[quote]
A man came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said, “Advise me.” He replied, “Don’t get angry.” The man repeated himself several times, but the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) only said: “Don’t get angry” (Bukhari, 8.35: 6116. S).
[/quote]
JazakAllah khair everyone for sharing your kind views on the topic.
Unfortunately, young Muslim people like me in present age act brainlessly while others are very innocent & a bit confused so unintentioanlly fall trap to satanic image of a REAL man. If you ask a young Muslim boy whom he considers his ideal as the REAL man, he would either take the name of any of the Prophets or Suhabi (r.a), but each and every of his acts would suggest that he considers the REAL man to be someone else, i.e. someone from the actors or singers of present times, who unfortunately seem to try their level best to present an image of a real man totally opposite to that of our REAL ideals. Junaid Jamshed told me that a person said to him that he loves Hazrat Umar Farooq (r.a) very much. Junaid bhai replied to him," You seem to be a great fan of him (in thoughts) but you should be very thankful to Allah (swt) that you were not born in his times, otherwise one of his hunters would have been broken on you after he had seen your appearance and activities as a follower of the Prophet Mohammad (saw). We all know Hazrat Ali (r.a) and other Suhabis would also be not very pleased with our ACTS and the REAL man which we try to present ourselves through them.
Few Muslim girls of present times are not less innocent. If asked, she would love to marry anyone having the manners, character and etiquette of the prophets and suhabas. She would consider it to be a great honor and blessing to even have a glimpse of the face of any of the prophets or suhabis in her dream. BUT, if she is presented two photos, one of a person as “handsome” as that of her favorite actor but with average manners/character and a well paid job. The other just resembling / copying the appearance of a suhabi (trying to follow fashion of a prophet) and also trying to follow the “prophetic” manners and trying to develop prophetic character with a medium “halal” job, we all know what would a decent Muslim of present times prefer. For a bit of understanding regarding the later part of this post, let us consider the following thread:
Media has presented the men, who were considered the worst type nearly 1420 years ago, into someones who would become most popular among Muslims in present generation. A man who shows a bit of animal instincts in any movie would be considered “hot” and if he possess a bit of humor and manners as well, then he would be considered “cool” as well. At times such misleading perception about “qualities” of good and bad people confuse innocent minds and they are unable to differentiate between good men and bad men, hence fall pray to traps as mentioned in the following:
May Allah (swt) bless confused people like me with the wisdom and understanding of the difference between the image of the REAL man presented by our Prophet (saw) and that of present media. May Allah (swt) also bless us with the will power to follow the example which we sincerely and selflessly believe to be true, without providing any false deception (sleeping tablets) to our Zameer (sixth sense).
Some people think that Islam only expects women to follow the orders of Allah (Swt) and men can do whatever they want. This is not true, men are also required to follow the rules and regulations that are meant for them. Men are equally expected to control their gaze, just like women are ordered to cover themselves in accordance to rules of Islam.
Thanks for this post, also real men do not fight with weaker persons and women and children... real men also forgive but not forget.
And when times are hard real men do not hold back even if extreme things must be done to maintian the greater good then they will not hold back.
Patience is a virtue but real men will also show no hesitation when duty calls... and will not make excuses to escape thier duty.
Islam is strict on the behavior attitudes and even dress sense of men.
Also one final note to my brothers... curb your desires for women who are not halal for you otherwise even if your built like hercules you will fall to the hand of the man who fights like a real man.
"Fear not the weapon, but the hand that wields it"
I couldn’t post about this as I was on holiday before but your utter drivel below makes your statement above (or anything you say really) laughable and someone like you has the gall and the nerve to mention Islam above.
Yeah easy to pick nits if your used to it isn’t it.. but i still stand by everything i say and thats the way i am like it or not… those who know me know me well.
Besides for anyone to have a quick glance at our avatars it’s clear enough to see what we both represent :k:
…very nice post..