Thats correct. She insists quite strongly on khula. 'We have different world views' she said on the phone when she called asking for khula.
This woman has extremely sick and twisted views. I'd say its a blessing you found out. Be strong brother and move on. Take everyday as it comes.
I'm all for making marriages work but clearly this horribly woman has no intention. She left because she didn't have the guts to face you once you found out what had happened. Her cowardly nature far exceeds any little amount of guilt she MAY have had.
There is no other way you could have handled the situation better. She denied every thing despite there being proof. Cheating , disloyalty is a huge big deal. Would you want your children to have a mother like her? Guess not. . it's good that you guys are not together any more. As for how you miss her, time heals all. :) Hope you get a good partner insha Allah.
What everyone else said, you had a lucky escape there bro.
I think the fact that you had to resort to looking through her phone to get her to stop lying is a sign of what kind of marriage you may have had - you would never feel like you could trust her.
Tell her parents what she's done and leave her to clean up her own mess.
I think she does not love you, IMO its really hard to get over your first love especially for girls (to my knowledge) not that she is justified in doing what she did at all. Loyalty is a must in a relationship. It seems like you invested more into this marriage than she did. Before you do get a divorce, it is recommended you attempt to compromise but I think she does not want to make it work. I think you deserve better.
If you believe you have solid evidence to suggest she slept with another man - you do have the right to tell everyone about that but remember you cannot simply defame her on a hunch, you'll get a lot of gunnah if she is innocent. Be careful on that aspect.
I think you should leave her - and be the better man and keep her sins hidden. Remember if you hide someone else's sins - Allah swt will hide yours.
Maybe this is better for you - just pray to Allah swt to guide you and Im sure you'll find someone that will make you happy and will be loyal. Dont lose hope.
Lastly I just want to add you tell people your part of the story and they automatically sympathise with you and suggest that you should leave (like me :S) BUT only you fully know your circumstances and hence only you should decide what you think is better for you and your future.
I have no proof that she had sex outside marriage, she denied it, and i gave her the benefit of doubt. But then she just left, i begged her to stay as i was devastated, and dont have no other immediate family here. But to no avail. She was stressed and wanted out.
Only our immediate family and close friends knows about these things. Both of us and our families had invested alot in this marriage. She belongs to a super liberal family, and they do support her. 'Kia hua so gai us ke saath aik kamray main, beds to alag thay' and all that reasoning. But they prolly do realize that what she did was wrong. I would prolly not gain anything by making things public and just ruin her life further, and dont want all this filth associated with me in future, so will prolly sign her papers soon.
Thnx for all ur inputs, it goes pretty much with what my family says.
I have no proof that she had sex outside marriage, she denied it, and i gave her the benefit of doubt. But then she just left, i begged her to stay as i was devastated, and dont have no other family here. But to no avail. She was stressed and wanted out.
Only our immediate family and close friends knows about these things. Both of us and our families had invested alot in this marriage. She belongs to a super liberal family, and they do support her. 'Kia hua so gai us ke saath aik kamray main, beds to alag thay' and all that reasoning. But they prolly do realize that what she did was wrong. I would prolly not gain anything by making things public and just ruin her life further, and dont want all this filth associated with me in future, so will prolly sign her papers soon.
Thnx for all ur inputs, it goes pretty much with what my family says.
You could just not agree to the khula and make her life difficult. She deserves it.
I have no proof that she had sex outside marriage, she denied it, and i gave her the benefit of doubt. But then she just left, i begged her to stay as i was devastated, and dont have no other immediate family here. But to no avail. She was stressed and wanted out.
Only our immediate family and close friends knows about these things. Both of us and our families had invested alot in this marriage. She belongs to a super liberal family, and they do support her.** 'Kia hua so gai us ke saath aik kamray main, beds to alag thay' **and all that reasoning. But they prolly do realize that what she did was wrong. I would prolly not gain anything by making things public and just ruin her life further, and dont want all this filth associated with me in future, so will prolly sign her papers soon.
Thnx for all ur inputs, it goes pretty much with what my family says.
I have no proof that she had sex outside marriage, she denied it, and i gave her the benefit of doubt. But then she just left, i begged her to stay as i was devastated, and dont have no other immediate family here. But to no avail. She was stressed and wanted out.
Only our immediate family and close friends knows about these things. Both of us and our families had invested alot in this marriage. She belongs to a super liberal family, and they do support her. 'Kia hua so gai us ke saath aik kamray main, beds to alag thay' and all that reasoning. But they prolly do realize that what she did was wrong. I would prolly not gain anything by making things public and just ruin her life further, and dont want all this filth associated with me in future, so will prolly sign her papers soon.
Thnx for all ur inputs, it goes pretty much with what my family says.
I think that's a wise choice. Leave her and her ways... I commend you for deciding to not make things public - Allah swt will give you a lot of ajjar for that - not many people can do that, some can get vengeful and petty.
All the best - you seem like a genuine guy - I'm sure you will find someone more worthy of your companionship. :)
Yes calling her such names is in a bad taste. She said that there were other reasons as well like lack of chemistry between us etc. But the reason we split is that it all got weird when I broached this subject and then we involved Quran etc. Ofcourse it makes perfect sense not to judge before listening to both sides of a story. I think she has a really loving family and a good circle of friends who support her in everything, so she was strong enough to ask for divorce.
Besides I think that unlike the popular myth it is the man who looses more and gets hurt more with issues like this, bcz we tend to mull and obsess over the matters in solitude. Especially ppl like me working overseas away from their families.
I am sorry to read all this, but you must thank God and move on,there is definitely someone better for you. When the right person will be in yur life you will realize how good this is to get rid of her.
When your wife secretly got together in one hotel room with the man she said she loved and sent explicit pictures of herself to, they merely sat down together to played some Nintendo Wii. Right?
Your such a pathetic pushover its not even funny. Become a man.