Everyone opened thread about “wat if ur gf/wife” was unable to concieve would u stay or leave. I ask girls that what if you love someone dearly b4 marriage and you find out that his sperms are all jacked up (excuse my terminology) and suppose there is no treatment .. would u still take a risk of gettin married with him? oR wat about findin about it after marriage?
And to guys .. how many of u will be manly enough to admit about it?
do u think its ok to ask him (the guy u r gettin married to) to have an infertility test b4 marriage?
Me: I don’t know wat I will do. Findin out after marriage .. it will be a shock, which will not be overcome easily but then I will think watever happens .. happens for good/best. Yea Yea I know its easy to say but then thats y we all r tested .. right? InshaAllah i will try to stick by my husband
This is something that CAN usually be determined before marriage. Male infertility is determined by looking at ejaculate under a microscope. Female infertility is more complex and typically not determined until there is failure to conceive or recurrent miscarriage occurs.
Male infertility can be overcome in many cases by using In-vitro fertilization. Many times, the problems with the sperms can be overcome this way. But there are cases too where the sperm is just not viable at all. In that case, the guy is the one who needs to come up to the plate and accept it. The couple would then need to decide whether a sperm donor with wife's egg is what they want, so that the wife is the biological mother. Or just adopt. OR go without children. This is a very personal decision. And a tough one. It takes strong people with strong love for each other to endure.
I know a woman (pakistani) whose husband has zero sperm seriously no sperm whatsoever and the man knew about it but did not tell her until the night of the wedding and gave her options to either leave him or stay. Obviously, she stayed because of what it will do to her parents, etc.
She cries is always depressed. I am the only one she disclosed her problem too and i feel sooooooooooooooooooo sad for her. She is only 32 but looks like 50 because of this "gham".
Sometimes, i just want to ask her husband...why did he wait till after the marriage to tell her??...Why even bother when it was too late anyways.....
This gal should seriously talk to her husband if she wants children. There are options for them that they should talk about. Adoption, sperm donor etc.
mamaof3: sperm donation is haraam in Islam. As for adoption her husband is not at all interested!
I told her about this new research where the go into the testes to retrieve sperm from where it is produced but he is not willing to do that as well.
men have probably more options to overcome infertility or issues dealing with impotence or low sperm count than women.Women can't conceive after menpause which happens rather quickly, much more quickly than andropause happens for men.So its not such a hopeless situation for men.
I think that this is kind of an unresolved thing in Islaam. The "family line" Islaamically speaking, is carried on thru the father. So whether you talk about sperm donation or adoption, the paternal line is broken. But adoption (and in a very similar vein, sperm donation), is an admirable thing to undertake in Islaam ....and so not forbidden. Its just that there are certain rules of inheritance that are supposed to be followed in such a case. As I understand it. I could be wrong.
ok so theres a really tough decision to make here. Wife wants kids, husband wants kids. Husband cannot procreate....so does he agree to adopt or does he agree to artificial insemination so that his wife can have a biological child? Or does he behave like a child himself and ignore the situation, divorce his wife and get a different one? Or just go on with life in a sad, miserable way without children at all?
^^ well then there should be no problem if a man uses another woman (out of marriage) to have a biological child if his wife is infertile.
It becomes a moral issue therefore it is not allowed in islam. If the wife thinks she can not live with an infertile man, then it is btter for her to get divorce a marry another person or if she is extremly in love with her husband then she should consider adoption.
As far as the above case is concerned... I think she should get divorce since the guy is not open to any options, he clearly doesn't care about his wife, it is all about him.
This reminds me of my dad. When my sis was about to get married, he wanted my bro-in-law to have an infertility test. Thanx Goodness, my mum didn’t let him (dad) ask him. Kher, I would never ask my hubby (to be) to have a test, though I don’t feel theres anything wrong in asking except for hurting their huge egos :D. If my hubby to be is infertile I would surely stick to him and would think of adopting kids. Waisay gals usually don’t ask their lovers to get a test done till they enter into a marriage (they blindly enter into it)
i will be all up for a fertility test..but only if the girl's dad also agrees to have her lil girl tested to if she's a virgin or not..sounds fair hunh?
well sure go ahead ask um to get it done, but then dont blame her of not being a virgin on ur first night (as the hymen would have been torn while taking a virginity test).
Lusi, your comment is a bit off-base as when there is an infertile gal, they can go for in-vitro with donated eggs in the same way that sperm are donated. OR have a "surrogate" implanted with your husbands sperm and carry the baby to delivery. Lets not be naive here, the guy doesnt need to go out and get another wife if she is infertile and vice versa.
All morality issues aside, whether a gal is a virgin or not has absolutely nothing to do with fertility. And sure, a gal can go for some basic hormone level checks prior to marriage but these will not show whether or not she will be able to conceive and deliver a child. Having a semen analysis for the guy, however, will.
…no kids …just take a another wife …problem solved:smooth: …