Major turn offs

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Major turn offs

What makes you think otherwise? Do you think girls don't have the characteristics listed or that guys aren't turned off by them?

42

Re: Major turn offs

Lol no its not that, i didn't think a girl would have all those characteristics in her especially a Pakistani girl.

43

Being ungrateful. When I cook her breakfast in bed and she just screams, asking me who I am and how I get into her bedroom.

44

Re: Major turn offs

^ :rotfl:

45

Re: Major turn offs

I never said that one girl would possess all the mentioned characteristics. I just said they're turn-offs.

46

Re: Major turn offs

  • Sexist and Misogynist types

    • Feudalistic mindset, arrogance and pride
    • Uncultured taste and sensibilities
    • Identity crises: Brown Sahib Complex, Arab Wannabe and a self styled ‘Desi’ hater
    • Radical and rigid religious opinions and views
    • Gossip guys
    • Attention seeking, boisterous and bratty nouveau riche types.
    • Bad General knowledge
    • Lack of political and historical interest
    • Lack of ambition
    • Lack of style (bad dressing sense), bad hygiene, bad physique
    • Lack of practical problem solving skills
    • Bad table manners

  • Lack of street smartness

  • Easily impressed types

    • Cheesy, silly, school boyish sense of humour.
    • A man who doesn’t like to read and stays away from seeking knowledge.

Okay that was fun. That's it for now, I guess. Might add some more later.

47

Re: Major turn offs

The saying comes from Rumi's experience with his spirtual teacher Shams Tabrezi. Before Rumi turned towards Allah he used to be very materialistic and scientific. He would demand things from others.

When Shams showed him the path towards Sufisim Rumi had to let go of his desires and his expectations from others. That's why he wrote this saying that, "Look what people ask me, but Allah who created me and the entire universe doesn't ask me anything for his love, he just loves me unconditionally even though I sin and I drink and I don't pray namaz."

So when reading people's requirements for their "Partners" it reminded me of Rumi's saying because here are people wanting this and that but if they Loved Allah he would never ask them for anything, so in turn Allah's love is better than that of people. But people love this world.

48

Re: Major turn offs

If Allah loves us unconditionally then why we have to pray & worship him ...... then why put conditions on us ...? ... just a question came to my mind ....

49

Re: Major turn offs

Couple of things I have learned recently:

Allah does love us unconditionally. It why he allows us to ask for forgiveness.

He doesn't need anything from us...definitely not our prayers or worship. The Creator of the universe...what need could he have?

My personal belief is that prayers are more for US than him. Namaz has been given to us as a way to connect with Allah, to relieve our burdens, ask for forgiveness, to find peace, to reflect on our actions, etc etc etc. There are many reasons why one prays but its not because Allah needs prayers...its because we do.

50

Re: Major turn offs

Agreed. Allah's love is the best kind of love to have. But it is Allah's ehkaamaat that we're trying to fulfill by choosing to marry and love our spouse justly. Right? So if people have certain preferences for who they'd want to marry, is that so wrong?

51

Re: Major turn offs

Prayer is an act of love. If you love Allah you do all you can to please him. Sufis do it by controlling their desires. Prayer teaches us self control, control over our Nafs. The more we pray the more we control our Nafs, the more we show our strength in the Love for Allah.

Nafs = ego, desires,

52

Re: Major turn offs

Lol odd, didn't our prophet marry a 40 year old woman? How many guys are willing to do that? The real preferences is to accept the person for who they are, that is true love.

53

Re: Major turn offs

There used to be a few, but I am trying to stop disliking people just because their sins and flaws differ from mine.

On a side note, almost everyone's list here has at-least one turn off that is true for me. :(

54

Re: Major turn offs

If he doesn't need anything from us...... as you mentioned..... not our prayers or worship then why we will be punished for that if we don't pray? .....

55

Re: Major turn offs

ok I get that prayer is an act of love .... then why punish us on the day of judgement if we don't pray or worship him out of love by using our free will? ......

56

Re: Major turn offs

Because you have to accountable for your actions. You won't be going to hell if you didn't pray. There are going to be other serious reasons for that. If you just say "Oh i didn't pray does that mean I will go to hell", well you have to commit a grave sin in order for you to go to hell. Most people do commit a lot of sins that are hell worthy, but imo not praying alone wont just put you in hell. There has to other reasons too.

57

Major turn offs_
Pretentiousness- oh come down from your cloud!!!
Those who thomp their opinions on others. Can we just agree to disagree... K thanks!!!
Scraggly beards. I don't know why but just don't look like a Billy goat. Just don't!!
Don't burp in public. I don't want to smell what you ate.

Sharpie eyebrows- they still exist.
Big gold chains on desi men- unless you are bhappi da and you make beautiful music-nah uh
Religion police- I don't question you, don't tell me what I need to do and wear.

Salan smell on brownies-keep a perfume cologn in your car.
Unibrows - why doesn't kajal just fix hers. Can I fix it for her!?!

Oh and my part hydro self is offended at the hydro accent comment. Isn't nakko the cutest word for no!?! Ita almost a no but chulbula

58

Re: Major turn offs

:omg:

59

Re: Major turn offs

:nahi: It means Allah (SWT) has unconditional Love

60

Re: Major turn offs

Peace bbbcd

It is the belief of Muslims that Prayer is prescribed to us ... Everything that is made "mandatory" to us by Allah (SWT) is for our benefit, because it betrays our understanding of Allah (SWT) to assert that we would be given anything harmful or useless as a requirement by Allah (SWT). So one way to understand prayer is to take it like we take "air" - we breathe it in and never question - why is "air" necessary for us and until we get our answer we stop breathing ... No, despite not getting any reason we are happy to continue breathing and eating and drinking. Yet we stop praying thinking we don't need to pray ...

Yes, Allah (SWT) is needless of our prayers ... because it follows that before we and the rest of creation were created who worshiped Allah (SWT)? No one ... He is not contingent on His creatures ... He is Self-Subsistent and His Majesty is unaltered whether we are here or not. You ask about punishment as a form of counter-argument from the position that He is needless of our prayer - that means in your mind - that threatening someone for not doing something is directly linked to some need one has in themselves. Let's put that assumption to test ... Say there is a road sign on a curved and winding road that warns the oncoming cars of a cliff edge and for them to slow right down ... Is it fair to say that the ones who put the sign up did so because they want to gain something from the drivers? No, yet they can be blamed by the drivers that their "sign" is a type of threat ... Allah (SWT) is Giving us signs and warning us - these are not threats of punishment. It seems that way because Allah (SWT) has control over everything ... If we don't pray then it is like not taking heed of that sign and driving too fast - the consequence is that we will fall down the cliff.

Actually a well formed and focused prayer is an act of love ... But before it manifests as an act of love it is a requirement for us ... and even if our hearts are not in it we should still pray. Here is why:

Although Allah (SWT) does not need us and we need Him ... He as our Lord has Rights ... Divine Rights and It is His Right to be worshiped. We say Alhumdulillahi Rabbil'Alameen ... That "All Praises are for Allah, The Lord of the Entire Universe" we are saying here that we believe "Allah has The Right to be worshiped as He is The Lord Who made all things - that is a sense that we cannot betray"

We betray that sense then that is what leads to punishment ... A person may not pray but if he does not pray out of a sense that "he does not NEED to pray" or that "It is not Allah (SWT)'s Right because He is needless" then that is kufr deserving of punishment - or should I say that is the act that leads to falling down that cliff.

We should think of ourselves as a slaves or even servants who have signed up to a contract to this human life ... if we betray that contract then the Customer will not pay us ... That lack of payment is what we can understand to be punishment. Think of the best slaves ... they are the ones who don't ask their Master why? They simply execute the command of their king or lord ... And so must we ... it is the Right of our King, our Master to be Worshiped although all benefit of that worship is not His ... it is ours ... and then we will understand that is truly Love ...