Maids

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Maids

lol so many hateful posts here. from both sides.

42

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Do you have someone specific in your mind while sharing this? :konfused: because I have also seen women who respect working women and accept that its quite a tedious task to work and look after the house and family at the same time!!

43

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Well said. I have maids but while they work I don't watch tv or talk on fone or do the stereotypical things that ppl r implying. While they work I m either bz with baby, cooking, showering (which I don't get time for until 4 pm at times), cleaning , doing laundry, or doing something. And I don't have full time maids. Max they leave by 4 and above 30 in age. No child labour.

44

Re: Maids

Who takes care of maid's children while she's away on work?

45

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What an unforgiving and hating lot of people...!
I wonder who gave the rights to everyone to approve or disapprove of others' choices.
Anything that is different from the way you live your life,is the wrong way...let's bash them all...!!

46

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haha sorry no full time maid .. working till 4 is full time where we live lol

47

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coz some of us want the mind set to change, exploiting the poor is not something we or most of us approve off.

48

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ps if u were paying what we pay here, i bet no one could afford a maid there ... har kyo appn kaam khud karey ... just coz u have needy ppl there, u can afford maids.

49

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yeah sure..it is just the right way to do it...:)
Bashing women who just do not live a life like yours (and I do not mean 'you' in particular),is a way to bring about a change.
Honestly,the way these 'discussions' happen here is horrendous...!

50

Re: Maids

In all seriousness, in regards to domestic services, this is exactly how the the change came about in the Western world. But we're talking about proper history which is just too much for this particular forum and its readership. Some people just pick and choose when they want to demonize 'desi culture and Paki land' and when they want to salivate over everything that's tagged tagged oh so Western. Not directed at you but just saying.

51

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An hour of babysitting my nephew and I feel completely wrecked! You have to watch the little monsters ALL THE TIME!! Like it takes him a second to pick up a piece of paper or tissue (even from the bin) and start eating it like its candy!! :smack: He think it’s more fun to destroy toys, take them apart, try eating them and then throw them down the stairs than actually play with them peacefully! And don’t even get me started on drawers and cabinets and electronics and every other putthi cheez you can think of that kids shouldn’t play with but that’s all they want to play with!! I’ve tried going into the kitchen to cook a couple of times while minding him and jayzus it’s almost impossible to do anything productive with the little destructive forces running around the place! You have to wait until they’re asleep to be able to do some chores. And God help you if your kid refuses to sleep! Poor thing has eczema these days and he’s so restless day and night. Point being, having seen firsthand what it takes to raise children, I’m honestly intimidated. I think I would suck at managing a household all on my own and I can definitely see myself hiring some help if I can.

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I don't think it's necessary to defend that being a SAHM mom is a lot of work. It's really as much or as little work as you choose to take on, just like any other job. You're just less likely to get fired from it. :D But the consequences of doing it badly obviously have a direct effect on you.

PCG's original post is placed here really out of context. It's not really that she has a problem with women hiring maids to help out around the house. She seems to be frustrated by the seemingly hypocritical rhetoric of people who are constantly insisting on the "a woman's place is in the home to cook/clean/care for family" and then go on to hire help. Now since we don't actually have a specific reference to go on, we can't really see what's hypocritical about this behavior.

53

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I am not bashing anyone, everyone has a right to do what they want, where am I bashing, u see it like you want to.

54

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OMG! hahha for the first time i have the inside scoop about what is going on as I recently started following blogs.

Anyways, I think people need to just be and let others be also.
My oldest bhabhi is a SAHM and I must say she is terrible at being one. She doesn't care for the the house or the kids. She hired a maid here in the US, (super expensive here) and I was so glad she did. Some people are great at their job and some are not and we should not judge if they seek out some help. MIL obviously hated having a maid and fired her. Could bhabhi have done it on her own? Yes! Did she have to? NO. So who cares?

My other bhabhi works, takes care of her house, and three children. She had to reduce her work hours after her third child. She no longer gets paid vacation, medical and dental benefits, etc. But she did it to be with her family more often and she refuses to hire a maid.

My mom has several maids who come once a week to clean. She works too. My mom obviously has all grown kids and doesn't need one. But since she can afford one, why not?

I would need help b/c I want to work. I already want to hire a maid from time to time b/c it gets hectic to do all these chores while going to school.

I am all for domestic help… whether you are a SAHM or working woman. If you can afford it, than why not?

55

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So u never buy anything made in china or any developing country cuz labour class does get exploited there by big companies n small?

56

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If anyone really expects that I'm going to stoop low to respond to personal attacks, which last I checked, should be cleaned up by the website moderators, but alas. Oh well. I have been through quite a lot of problems over the past year or two that your stones do not really hurt, if anything, they make me smile that there are such people out there who would take a simple forum question meant to arouse healthy discussion in which the sharing of opinions can occur without poo-throwing, and use it to take out their aggression and share their healthy personal opinions of my own personal failures in life, and use THAT as an argument for why women need maids. A topic which has nothing to do with my personal life.

In fact, the topic has nothing to do with my personal opinions on whether a maid should be hired, and under what circumstances and for what pay etc.

Like every topic here under discussion, the topic comes from an observation. I made an observation of something someone said. Did you see me bring in that user's name here, slink poo on that person? Challenge them to a GS duel in Life1? No.

I just simply raised the question.

If the premise of a stay at home in our culture is that she is living up to her virtuous Islamic duty of taking care of home/hearth/family, then why would a woman claiming to live that responsibility (let's leave it as a side point that these women look down upon working women as un-Islamic, or that their husbands would never marry working women because they're not good muslim girls, or they cannot maintain a household while working, although that's actually pretty central to my argument), HIRE A MAID to do her Godly duties?

Also I did not realize everyone's kids are 1 year olds with really bad asthma needing nebulization, in fact, I thought the diagnosis of asthma gets made later in life. I wonder why Pediatricians are not making a crap load of money if everyone's kids need to be nebulized every 3 hours. Or that kids live in such perpetual severe exacerbations for months at a time?

Of course, most kids are not such high medical maintenance that they're practically living in a hospital, cough, home. This is not to understate the work that gets put into rearing medically challenging kids, but they're simply not the norm, and not every aunty hiring a maid has these kinds of kids.

I have disabled kids in my family, I know how it takes a full time family member to watch them, so no disrespect in this regard. But again, not the norm. So again, why are we hiring maids and then lecturing other women to not work, because a proper muslim woman's real place is at home? At home to do what? Your kids are now in school, and you're still hiring a maid? Why?

And yes, I've seen LOTS of child labor in Pakistan with the maid system, of course no one here would ever own up to seeing it by documenting it in writing. If you ask the maasis in Pakistan why they bring their daughters to work, they say they can't afford schooling, and the hired help the little girl brings in is helpful to their family financially, because they really need the money. And even with all that, sometimes, they still can't break event. Nice that some people finance the maasis' child's education. But I don't know if this is the norm?

You can dump the responsibility on the maid, but what is she supposed to do if the very schools that are being run by the Mem-saahibs of Pakistan, employing the help of these very maids, charge such high fees, that the maids can't possibly send their kids to those schools?

So then is this a system of exploitation or not? But again that's the side issue.

My question as outlined clearly in the original post is: If you hire a maid, and your whole mantra of being a SAH (mom or not) is that muslim women's first and foremost responsibilities are to their family and home, then why hire the maid in the first place? Do your Godly duty yourself instead of opening topics criticizing her for trying to use the dishwasher or wanting to eat out of a paper plate. :)

Khair, I managed to put my argument forward without any direct mud slinging or personal attacks. I challenge you to do the same. Right, coughcough?

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And just to clarify, I have no "high class" education, not sure what people here are talking about. I went through the public schooling system, no private schools. I went to school with people that many of you would refuse to put your kids next to in class. I went to a college that was pretty average, and didn't pay a crap load with my "high class money", which I don't have. Yes, I did some upper level education beyond college, but a lot of people are doing that these days, so that's nothing special either. So I'm not sure why people are scolding me that my schooling should have taught me better.

Taught me better to do what? Not challenge old ingrained unhealthy and possibly even detrimental social habits of our community? I should just watch Pakistanis destroy each other, a destruction that I have noticed begins with the home and inhabitants of the home and how interactions at home influence people later on?

Let me ask you guys, if your kids grow up watching you boss around your maid and not do any of your dirty work yourself, then what kind of values are they going to grow up with? Is it ok for their first chai cup to be cleaned when they hit college and live in a dorm room?

58

I am not sure why you are seeing a perfect sahm or godly wife and hiring a maid as a clash. Hazrat Ayesha was a pretty godly SAHM, and she had a maid. What was wrong with that?

59

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Then the whole argument from the SAHM perspective/traditional mullah perspective that working women aren't doing their Godly duty doesn't hold up, does it?

60

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Hazrat Ayesha was also a bonified professor of her time, the equivalent to which we have phd's these days. That was the level of her knowledge. I don't see the same traditional throught process prevalent in our culture encouraging girls on for higher education and learning. In fact, our maulvi's like to bomb buses of lady scholars, or bomb their schools. So let's leave Lady Hazrat Ayesha out of this, the kind of behavior I'm seeing in this thread, there are no Lady Ayesha's around here.