Re: Maids
haye haye…ab kya hoga…pcg with another round of posts… what will the opposition bring? 
Re: Maids
Let me ask you guys, if your kids grow up watching you boss around your maid and not do any of your dirty work yourself, then what kind of values are they going to grow up with? Is it ok for their first chai cup to be cleaned when they hit college and live in a dorm room?
PCG, you have a valid point there but the problem here is not because of the maid. I mean you can very well train your kids to clean up their own mess even when you have some hired help at hand. I get where you're coming from because we find it really odd when we go to Pak how some of our little cousins order their servants around. We're so used to picking up our own plates from the dinner table after we're done eating that we did the same in Pakistan too and everyone was like what are you doing, leave it, maid kar le gi. So the problem here is that those parents just don't teach their kids, especially boys, to fend for themselves and leave every little task up to the maid. That shouldn't be happening but this doesn't mean a housewife shouldn't be hiring a maid. The problem is that hired help is so cheap in Pakistan that a middle class family can easily hire a full time maid. Here, if you had to pay for domestic help, you'd only be able to do it for a few hours a week so you wouldn't depend on full time servants like some people do back home.
Re: Maids
My question as outlined clearly in the original post is: If you hire a maid, and your whole mantra of being a SAH (mom or not) is that muslim women's first and foremost responsibilities are to their family and home, then why hire the maid in the first place? Do your Godly duty yourself instead of opening topics criticizing her for trying to use the dishwasher or wanting to eat out of a paper plate. :)
So you only want an answer from those who you deem to be "SAH (mom or not) is that muslim women's first and foremost responsibilities are to their family and home, then why hire the maid in the first place?" ?? The rest of the people who have maids but don't prescribe to that view won't be included right? I'm just trying to understand what you are trying to get at so don't bite my head off yaar.
Re: Maids
Even if you hire a maid for a few hours per week, how do you then justify the argument that you're being a mashallah, alhamdullillah proper muslim wife, looking down at other women for being out more when you yourself aren't actually taking care of your home? I didn't realize watching someone taking care of your home means you've lived your Islamic duty?
If that's the case, then...I can hire a maid and babysitter and go to work, and I'm just as good of a muslim wife.
And then we look for SAH's as wives because? We elevate the status of a SAH in the masjid because? We are wary of working women when he look for wives because? We prefer not to marry our sons to working women, and rather look for SAH's because? We ask women to stop working and withdraw from their careers and education to dekh baal the family because? When the maid is doing the actual dekh baal?
:-/
I guess walking with your kid in the park, and playing with them suffices as you living up to your holy duty to your family? If that's what a working woman does - pay attention to her kids when she gets home, how is she any less of a mom?
:) I don't see why I keep having to remind people of the inconsistency here in our culture.
Re: Maids
I’m just questioning the consistency of these people in what they say and what they do: 
Re: Maids
No biting in Ramzan :o 
Acha got it, but I didn’t read from anyone here in this thread that their outlook is** “muslim women’s first and foremost responsibilities are to their family and home”** so perhaps things just spiraled out of control here.
Re: Maids
So u never buy anything made in china or any developing country cuz labour class does get exploited there by big companies n small?
well is there a way I know if my knife is made in china, they make it there and put made in EU stamp on it, so basically its hard to find out, but as u are employing a maid and giving her a few thousand Rs for a whole month, where as u know thats not enough to feed her and her family, you guys can start by giving them a decent salary, so that they can educate their kids, then the kids do not enter this line, but wait, maybe the ppl dont want this vicious circle to end as who will do the work in future for their kids.
Re: Maids
Raising kids is tricky and while I don't have any of my own, I've seen both good and bad examples of parenting among sahm's and their working counterparts. You want to work, go ahead. But whether you choose to work or sah....your family takes top priority because they have rights over you. One is a haq, the other is a farz. Exercise the haq but not at the expense of the farz cuz it comes first. Let people complain/bash...you do it too. You could be the working mom that has all her ducklings in a row and defies the negative stereotypes Desis have about working mothers.....and that still won't stop them from moaning, will it? They're not looking for your approval and you don't need theirs. The only thing that matters is that the farz is done to the best of one's ability whether a woman is a sahm or otherwise.
Re: Maids
well is there a way I know if my knife is made in china, they make it there and put made in EU stamp on it, so basically its hard to find out
Off topic but I dont think this happens. If a product is manufactured in China, it is labelled as made in China and not in US. I am pretty sure its the same in EU.
Re: Maids
it happens, they import the stuff here and package it lets say in italy and label it with made in EU.
Re: Maids
I love how we have a full blow rant about supposed inequities in Desis communities, anad lo and behold, from within the bowels of the thread we see the beginnings of a discussion on economic inequality and manufacturing practices.
I love GS. 
Re: Maids
Please report posts where you feel like you are being bashed and we will look into them.
And this goes for everyone, if you feel like you are being bashed, please report. But if one is also gonna flame then don't act surprised when people tell you off.
Do I need to highlight every personal attack here? Highlight one area where I've made a personal attack? Pointing out the inconsistencies in a wide spread cultural practice IS NOT the same thing as personal attacks by the way.
And if it is a policy of GS that let people deserve what they get when they post a topic that is controversial, then clearly, you guys have no clue how to moderate a forum anymore.
Re: Maids
Do I need to highlight every personal attack here? Highlight one area where I've made a personal attack? Pointing out the inconsistencies in a wide spread cultural practice IS NOT the same thing as personal attacks by the way.
And if it is a policy of GS that let people deserve what they get when they post a topic that is controversial, then clearly, you guys have no clue how to moderate a forum anymore.
I said report it. And I never said anyone deserves it, I said don't be surprised if one flames (as in entices and riles people up) that that person won't get blow back.
And for the post before that regarding red velvet, you know her a long time right? You talk to her on PM about something she says that bothers you or you can report the post and someone will talk to her and clear the matter.
As a mod I like to keep friction between users to a minimum, especially those people who I know can handle being talked to in private and calm them down, rather than resort to infractions etc. Everyone blows off the handle once in a while, and rather than just hand out points like candy, I like to believe that a civil conversation can calm things down.
And if you, or anyone, feel that my moderation is not to your liking, please bring it up with the CM of my forum or the director. I am also human and prone to mistakes. And if I have caused any hurt to you then I do apologize.
Re: Maids
If I ever stay home...I am so getting a maid if I can afford it.
Why not? Who says I have to melt in the kitchen everyday in order to be a good mom and wife? I don't want to be tired, cranky or overworked :( I am sorry but whyyyyyy would you want to do it all if you don't have to? Washing plates and pans doesn't make someone a great parent.
Also, its not as easy as it looks...I spend time with my nieces and nephew...a lot of time. And I can NEVER figure out where the day went...the entire day revolves around their pooping, feeding and activity schedule. At least I get to give them back! I don't know how my sisters do it and they're sahm's...it takes more than just popping a spoonful of oatmeal in their mouth to raise them. Its their schooling, homework assignments, religious instruction, medical issues, doc appts, feeding, monitoring what they're thinking, what they're watching, their friends, what they're sensitive to, etc etc etc. It is endless. Plus, many sahm's are also in school part time like my sisters. These kids you speak of...don't just play in a corner of the room while mommy watches drama after drama and paints her nails. It doesn't work that way...not in any of the homes I've seen at least. THey need constant attention and even more when they get older.
I don't judge anyone for wanting to hire help - do it. If it helps you keep your sanity and lets you relax a little bit - I say do it.
Re: Maids
My mother has done both. Worked 14 hours a day sometimes and also be a housewife. And to this day she can't decide which one was harder.
I do not understand this desi mentality, why must one system has to better than the other?