You are right when you say this on base of cold logic.
But dear PCG I think you never fall in love, it is love which dictate someone to go extra miles.
When Spiral express loves for her husband, forgetting her own pains trying to give her best for him. It is not stupid, she is not becoming maid but it is expression of pure love, and i am sure the husband understand and appreciated that as well.
Whether you buy it not but i would certainly appreciate and proud of my daughter if she has that kind of love and care towards her hubby.
Great! And it goes both ways, husbands go miles extra when they love their wives.
There no lines to draw, instead, much of an overlap of each other's so called boundaries.
TipuSultan, who ever made the rule that all housework is to be done by the housewife?
It's not in Islam. It's a cultural remnant of a patriarchial society, and as Islam doesn't advocae for patriarchial or matriarchial but rather is fairly egalitarian, it is no suprise that Islam advocates men to help their women out at home.
Islamically, the man is suppose to be the provider while the woman is the caretaker of the house (cooking, cleaning, raising children, etc?). However, it's a hadith that Prophet Muhammad PBUH has said how helping your wife with chores has so much of sawab in it that it is compared to giving charity. Also, if your wife is used to having a maid, the husband must provide her one if he can financially afford to. So yeah, sitting back and expecting your wife to do everything, especially if she works also, is not right. Even if your wife doesn't ask you to pitch in, atleast keep an open mind in terms of willing to help if you see her needing it vs. acting like an idiot and saying, I'm the man, it's beneath me to do any of this.
Culturally, men (some, not all) have made up their minds of how doing anything around the house should only be the woman's job, and helping her around is such a disgrace. Alot of it has to do with what they see in their homes, in particular, how they are raised by their mothers. In alot of desi households, you will see the moms and daughters doing most of the housework while the sons are treated like VIP. The sisters are expected to give their brothers food, and basically act like a maid. If the parents can stop raising their boys and girls in such a way, maybe we'll see alot of changed men.
So then, surely, that same principle should apply to men also. Why didn't you drop your job and let your wife work so that YOU could take care of the babies.
Comes back to square one - the principle of keeping a woman in the home, and out of public sphere and the public eye.
True pareezay. I never had any brothers and never was around my male cousins, so i never waited on a male. In fact, my dad serves US girls. He will bring me water, milk, food, whatever when I am working. So, I've never seen this gender restriction when growing up. Dad cooks on the weekends and makes enough for the week, and my mom makes side dishes and veggie dishes on the weekdays. Both work. He makes more, and one could argue she should do more around the house. But they both do what they can. And then when my sister and I come home, we will help out with cleaning and organizing things. When guests are over - we're all working in the kitchen.
I really don't have much to say in this thread but I'll definitely clear this out. I live alone with my husband. My in-laws love me to death. I don't have to worry about being forced to cook or do anything for that matter, I do it because I want to. I don't have kids that I gave up everything for. I didn't give anything up for anyone. My dad cooks at least 4 times a week, whole meal, he also works full time night shifts. He does it because he wants to not because he is forced to do so. My brother dare not leave his plate around or glass or anything.. he doesn't dare ask for bkfast when he can make his own bkfast. That's how I was raised. But I am married now and I do everything for my husband because I want to. I went to a college.. got a degree in business and I am studying for my Masters.
No PCG this post isn't directed towards you at all. Infact I like that you say what you think is right.. Everyone should do that. What you say is totally your opinion. One that should be respected just like everyone else's.
My point is.. just because I was raised a certain way where men share all the responsibilites and do infact a lot more for the women they love, doesn't mean a woman demand a slave. If its a guy's responsibility to provide everything from food to clothes to anything else a girl asks for.. a girl can at least cook him a decent meal without being called a maid. And I tell you guys .. not all husbands are bad. I was all oh I wouldn't do a thing for my husband before I got married.. but he changed me.. his love did.
So then, surely, that same principle should apply to men also. Why didn't you drop your job and let your wife work so that YOU could take care of the babies.
Comes back to square one - the principle of keeping a woman in the home, and out of public sphere and the public eye.
Desi mentality will never change.
Unfortunately the man can not get pregnant. He could not give birth to children, he could not barest feed to baby.
And you yourself said in your Rishta thread:-
*I'm a woman. I dont need to work. YOU do. So, YOU pay the bills, the mortgage, etc. I DO NOT. I will fill in, of course, if you lose your job, get disabled, etc. But as long as you are healthy and able, you will not mooch off me. *
So you believe that man need be provider unless he lose the job or get disabled, i am sure the man would not mind to become househusband.