Maid issue

Lifestyle Relationships
21

yes but somehow I've seen it that its below the dignity of some ladies to push the pram into the hall , thus they want maids

I am sure that gullible is not doing it for this reason though

22

Re: Maid issue

Are they expecting you to be the maid? Stop cooking and give yourself a rest. Say you're tired and feel too sick to do anything...that should teach them a lesson.

23

umm thats kinda uncalled for. We dont even know what the insulting remark was. How can u advocate beating? Abuse :halo:

*how about, they maybe just dont want someone else looking after the child? *

another thing, why are the ur parents (to the postee) interfering with ur personal issues.. especially ones that dont involve them, but your parents-in-law? it really is wrong of you to get them invovled, and on top of that, say that ur parents will pay for the paid… what is that supposed to mean? that ur inlaws cant afford the maid?

kya zamana aagaya hai..

24

what lesson needs to be taught? we dont even know why they dont want to hire a maid? it could be as simple as that they dont want some lil child minding their child? or maybe they are hesitant about having maids? it could go against their moral upbringing...

maybe the MIL does do work... the thread starter can maybe ask for assistance?

i know with me, im horrible with asking for help.. and then at the end of the day, it'll look like im being a maid to people.. but im not, im just too silly to ask for help..

maybe all she needs to do is ask the MIL to help her out

Kryolan Stick Foundation
25

Sometimes a good beating is essential! Lol!

Why should the SIL insult her parents? They are elders and the SIL should have some respect! If anyone was to insult my parents…they would get a good beating from me! :slight_smile:

26

If she really felt that she could actually ask her MIL to help her out, then I doubt she would have opened this thread up!

27

Re: Maid issue

^ why not?

some girls have issues with the MIL touching their children... its not uncommon. They think the child might start loving them more.. just wierd stuff

its not about the MIL not wanting to help out... maybe she just hasnt been asked?

I know I didnt realise that I was leaving my MIL out of things until she actually once said to let her help out... Im so used to doing things my way, and just being on top of everything... so i dont see how this cant be an issue here

she hasnt mentioned what the inlaws problem is with a maid... so how can we assume that she has even asked for assistance?

28

Re: Maid issue

Okay thread-starter have you asked your MIL or SIL to help you with the chores? :)

29

My mil is an old lady of 65+ age. I don't feel good asking her to help me. My sil do help me. The sil who insulted my parents doesn't live here. She is married n came to our place for two months cuz my mil called her n made her incharge of the house as my mil was going abroad for two months. How can I ever think my baby as burden? I think no great love exists in this world as that of a mother's love. I don't want to hire a maid to show off. I really get tired n I only need a little help so that I can take bath, go bathroom, clean up the mess after baby has done eating n playing with toys. I don't even get proper rest at night. My baby wakes up ever 30-60 minutes. It takes me 15-20 minutes to make him fall asleep, n wen I lye down to sleep, it takes me 15 minutes to get back to sleep n I hardly sleep for 30-40 minutes wen baby is ready to wake up again. How could I stay fresh all day after such night, daily? If I sleep much my mil makes mood. If I ever say no to cooking or chores she makes his mood n complains my husband about this. My mil doesn't like to hear NO. Sometimes even if I'm not in a mood to talk, she gets angry on that too. I used to ask the servant to make up the trolly while I make tea, my mil forbade me to ask her to makeup trolly. What most hurts me is, my mil had a maid for her children, my sil who insulted my parents had a maid for her children n she was telling everyone infront of me that I had a maid for my babies I used to keep her awake all night with me wen babies were awake. N the very next day insulted my parents, said u should encourage ur child not to keep a maid. Pointed her finger on my mother n said wherever u go u say my daughter is getting weak she needs a maid. Although my mom didn't. She only talked to my mil about this and mil didn't mind it. Mil made bitter comments but didn't insulted her. I know my in laws will never hire a maid. All this hurts me! I was the only daughter n a sis of two bros. I was laadlee I didn't have a habit of working nor was I used to of it. When they came for my rishta my parents told them that our daughter doesn't know cookin n stuff n she isn't used to of workin. They said we don't want her to work. We have servants for cooking n stuff. She just has to supervise them. N now my mil supervises n I work. I really get upset. I need someone to share. I don't have a sis, n wen I see my 6 sister in laws sitting in a room, sharing n laughing, I feel lonely. I don't tell my parents as they will get upset. I need moral support from u ppl. I hope u understand.

30

Re: Maid issue

i feel for u Gullible. but dont think its only ur inlaws. its inlaws everywhere with double standards.
i can understand very well how ur baby doesn't let u rest. i hav a 10 months old still wakes4-5 times at night n i never hav enuf sleep. just think it this way they r creating probs in ur life deliberately. they want to see u suffer n feel happy. u r not gonna make them happy. coz u r not gonna suffer n u r not gonaa whine. take things calmly n smile infront of them .cry in ur privacy if u like to.
as for MIL make some rules never say NO or argue but do ur stuff quietly. If she makes mood on ur sleeping late or not talking smile it off but keep doing wat u find better for ur health. very sweetly keep convincing ur hubby that how much over tired u get.
if ur mil doesn't think of u don't bother abt her old age. If @ 65 she can travel so can she hold n look after ur baby.
Start handing ur child over to her. Even at night sometimes take her to their room n keep them awake with u"knock kncok...ammi daikhain itna ro rehi hai . samajh nahi aa rehi kia keron. plz aap he zara daikhain. mujh se chup nahi ho rehi" when they complain just smile "aap dadi hain is ki. aap se behter kis ko pta ho ga"

The Jail game
31

Re: Maid issue

Also develop some friendships to cover up ur lonliness. i'll say when all sils r laughing n having fun u join them n participate. even if u feel uncomfy keep doing it till they accept u as a part of group. while u work in kitchen keep calling someone for help. don't just serve them make them a part of everything. learn some good tricks girl. very imp to survive in susral.
when mil goes away convince ur hubby n u two go away for a week too or u go n live at ur mum's house leaving eveything for sils to look after. come b4 mil comes n act as if nothing happened.

32

Re: Maid issue

Oh I love u Marbook!:) it really motivated me. I don't know the tricks a girl should know, wen she is in susral. My mil Is very health concious she will never disturb her sleep at night to hold my baby. Even if she does it, next day she will tell everyone k Maine sari raat bacha sambhaala jai main thak gai Hun. My mil Is 40 times healthier than I. I feel like she gets happy to see me tired. I have told my husband several times that I get really tired. Always talked to him politely, but he says no. Once my mil has made decision on any issue, my husband never bothers wat I feel or say. He does wat mil wants.

33

Re: Maid issue

What health issues do you have gullible?

Is it something that can be treated to give you more strength?

If its something like anaemia which makes you weak and tired its very easily treated.

And i think its really realy unfair your husband doesnt support you, does he help you wth the baby?

34

Best advice so far. Gullible do not care what your MIL will say or do. Follow this plan this ought to work ultimately.

35

aur yehi hum chahtay hain. n then we r gonna say" Ammi sach aap ko bachon k baray main itna pata hai. aap na hotin tu pata nahin main issay kaisay chup kerati aur issay bhi daikho kaisay dadi se chipk ker so rehi thee" etc
i didn't know a thing when i got married. i just knew abt honestful communication. learned all this the hard way.

36

Re: Maid issue

mabrook im taking notes!

37

Re: Maid issue

Thank you so much marbook! :) and alvena I m not anaemic. I had rheumatic fever before marriage, had fever for 4 years, since then I feel lethargic fatigued, dizzines every now n then. Rheumatism is no more but it's effects r there.

38

Re: Maid issue

I see! No wonder your so tired all the time!

I know this is completely off topic and i dont want to scare you, but have you had a follow up with a doctor?

39

No :s

40

Re: Maid issue

^ if your feeling dizzy, i think you should.

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