I was watching ‘Shadi Online’ last night on GEO. There were three guys looking for propspective spouses. Each one of them had the quest for this common virtue, “ladki aisi hau jau mere maa baap ki khidmet karay”.
Isn’t the responsibilty of serving and taking care of your parents SOLELY rest upon the son himself?. I mean it is great if the wife also takes care of the in-laws but it should NOT be a requirement or demand.
if i am not mistaken i heard on the TV ofcourse that its not the religious responsibility of the wife to take care of her in-laws but if she does it its good.
Fungy have i ever told u i love u... wow a desi guy actually understood that and ON his own..
there is HOPE in this world.
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*Originally posted by bhoot ka baap: *
if i am not mistaken i heard on the TV ofcourse that its not the religious responsibility of the wife to take care of her in-laws but if she does it its good.
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its not a religious responsiblity but it certainly has become a cultural responsibility and god forbid if our religious responsibilities are given preference over the cultural ones. Its almost haraam u kno.. ;)
Why not just hire a maid instead of going through the expense of getting married if all they want is someone to look after their parents? Did these guys on t.v. have any other requirements?
Then again, maybe these guys do intend on looking after their parents. They just want someone who will be willing to help them. 
There’s nothing wrong with looking after the in-laws. It’s great if both husband and wife look after both sets of parents.
Family oriented girls do take the initiative to take care of their elders…at least in the East. It is more of a quality among girls rather than an expectation from guys. You can not make your wife, brother, or sister respect your parents or anyone else for that matter…it should come from the person himself.
Mehnaz, another requirement all three had was that she should not work outside of the house. Well, with all the khidmet guzari inside the house, who the hell has time to step outside. At least this showed the guys were 'caring'.
or i guess its a better way to say make use of yourself around here lady :)
lol. Yeh its quite funny.
Have you seen the bhai /behn of the guy who also come on to say ke bhai kitney achey hain? 
I always thought it was a comedy show.. do ppl actually get married this way?
fayz: yeah, in the east what women feel or say hardly matters. And women find it hard to muster up the courage to oppose the cultural practices going on for centuries. Don't confuse fear with respect fayz.
These days our desi girls know just three things…me, myself and my rights. I mean I myself advocate girl’s rights in our women-opperessed desi culture. But in some cases things are going to the other extreme.
I mean if a guy is being nice to love, care and comfort you, keeping everything you like or dislike in his mind, you need to do the same in reply.
na shakal na aqal aur nakhray asmaan pey! 
I am talking in the wake of a recent divorce in my friend’s circle. A churail like bhangan pissed this handsome looking guy to hell. He was almost isolated from his family and friends (who are nice as I know his family personally). I mean a guy is doing everything for you, providing everything that a woman can desire, is 10 times better looking than you, his family is nice and humble ppl. His mom broght u home as her daughter. What else you need in this world. 
Love?
smooth_guy, you bring up different point of view but it deserves a thread of it's own. I am talking about these prospective guys demanding their wives-to-be for taking care of their parents. On one hand, you can say well at least they are being honest and upfront about it but it just doesn't sound right.
Well I guess some people will say it's just a 'preference'. Like how some girls are adament on being with someone with a PhD and not even willing to consider someone outside this narrow scope.
Either way, it's pretty silly. There's more to people and these guys should have a better idea of what they are looking for in a spouse other than someone to look after his parents. I wonder, where will the husbands be the whole time? What do the guys' parents think of this?
I know of one family here where the mother is determined to get her daughter-in-law from Pakistan so that she can clean the house and do whatever she (the mother) wants. I know of another family who did the same thing in England ... totally ruined the girl's life cause they tell her off all the time for not cleaning or doing things (housework) properly.
sigh
FG,haan yaar sorry, I went a bit off-topic here. May be carried away by the emotions as this tragedy has occured recently. But still when I think of that ugly b***ch and the torture she gave to this true gentleman, you can imagine what I feel.
But yes, in short, Islamically its solely son's responsbility to take care his parents. And if one is asking this as a prerequisit, then girls just slap on his face and move on. He needs maid not a wife.
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*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I know of one family here where the mother is determined to get her daughter-in-law from Pakistan so that she can clean the house and do whatever she (the mother) wants. I know of another family who did the same thing in England ... totally ruined the girl's life cause they tell her off all the time for not cleaning or doing things (housework) properly.
sigh
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I agree, I have seen this situation as well and have seen how that girl responded in the rightly manner. But again, its more of a woman-against-woman situation. Men need to have a good balance between mother and wife relationship to keep the harmony in the family.
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*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Don't confuse fear with respect fayz.
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I think you are confusing quality with fear.
A woman who is willing to show respect is far more appreciated than the one who has her guards waaaaay up before she has even confronted or met the worst from her mother in law.
^ On that point I'd like to say the dominance of the mother in law is directly related to the respect a husband gives his wife. If a man treats his wife with respect and looks at her respect as his own..no one will be able to mess with her.
^ and what about if he has respect for his mother and love for his wife, and yet they both have ego clashes (a very common scenario in these cases) ? A human being can handle this kind of situation upto a certain level (based on one's patience and ability) but after that one of the two woman will suffer. Unfortunately, its a loss-loss situation in either case for a man.
maa baap ki khidmat to laazmi hai bhai sahab..warna larkia jaayen tail lainay