Is this generalised statement true “girls in the west marry for love whilst girls in pakistan marry for status defined by education, job, or money”.
Are pakistani women as a reflection of pakistani society more materialistic than their western counterparts?
Please comment.
Re: love vs status
well education is a must..more then money..!
Re: love vs status
Education and money reflects a character which strived to achieve those things in the first place, while love just blindly choses any other awaara dude who says the right stuff.
Re: love vs status
Is this generalised statement true "girls in the west marry for love whilst girls in pakistan marry for status defined by education, job, or money".
Are pakistani women as a reflection of pakistani society more materialistic than their western counterparts?
Please comment.
No.
goes to different thread.
Re: love vs status
well education is a must..more then money..!
I had a western girl that once worked with me. She decided to leave school and did not study any further but in IQ tests she would have beat most of the people with degrees. I know because we used to do puzzles together and did online IQ tests. I would put intelligence above education any day. There are a lot of educated people that cannot even find jobs or are unemployable.
Re: love vs status
Education and money reflects a character which strived to achieve those things in the first place, while love just blindly choses any other awaara dude who says the right stuff.
So you look at the CV of a person and decide to marry that person, rather than looking at the person? It seems like a business relationship rather than marriage.
Re: love vs status
Personally i think u have to think more then just ur feelings when ur going to marry a person. Like u have the same basic values as the person ur marrying, religion e.g. what i meen to say it that u've got to think with ur brain as well as ur heart when ur making such a commitment. If ur a woman u want a man who u can think will be a good husband and a good father to your children.
And i think if the person has all the qualities ur seeking. Then love can develope afterwords. And if we see the statistics in marriages in europe/west it's a tiny part of the population that gets marriade in the first place. And the main part of those again get devorced. Cuz the romance just lasts the first three years then the reality hits them. And it's not as romantic anymore when u'lle have to deal with daily life duities. Ab ap hamare parents ko dekh leN,how many of them got married of love and mashAllah they r married still and happy.
I'm living in a country in europe and i'm muslim. For me the personality and beliefe is important in my future husband. And i want him to be a loving and caring husband. I'm studiying now so in the future i will be working and i'lle share the bills with him. So i'm not the greedy type of gal. And i think u can't just say that paki girls in pak r like this and paki girls in west r like that. It's depends on the personality of a person. Whats important for the person. Not where that person is living. Me to apni side of view se hi bata sakti huN.
Re: love vs status
interesting topic by the way arshad5:)
Re: love vs status
I think that in certain circles we are less materialistic in the west, but we also have more options. It is possible to make a reasonable salary as a school teacher, librarian, or so on, in the west, and the cost of goods (fuel, food, housing, etc.) are in many cases comparitively less, so we do not have to place so much focus on earning ability. You can aspire to a certain lifestyle, or you can live simply, but comfortably. In Pakistan, there seems to be so much instability and uncertainty, so people want to make sure a man has the ability to support not only a wife, but also in many cases his parents, and sometimes even other hangers-on in the family.
That said, I have noticed that people in Pakistan are much more brand-conscious than we are here. The last time I went I took makeup for the younger cousins, and it wasn't quite the brands that they were looking for. My niece also wanted a new mobile, because apparently the same phones that were being advertised here were "out of fashion" there.
Re: love vs status
^ To top it off the goods that relatives ask for to be sent are infact cheaper (when converted) in rupees there.
Re: love vs status
So you look at the CV of a person and decide to marry that person, rather than looking at the person? It seems like a business relationship rather than marriage.
believe it or not that is how the rishtays are done these days. every potential rishta has a CV in his or her hand.
Re: love vs status
Is this generalised statement true "girls in the west marry for love whilst girls in pakistan marry for status defined by education, job, or money".
every girl & her family has a different set criteria which they seek in their potential life partner, u're right that education & pay scale is considered far more on personality , smartness and sincerity but i think it is irrespective of the region they belong to........... women in general do think that financial stability is a key to secure and successful life but it's health + happiness + mutual love and understanding that makes a couple a happily married one.
Re: love vs status
i prefer love over status ... don't know about others
Re: love vs status
You have to look at the circumstances here. When you're doing an arranged marriage, you look for what you think would be a good fit for your son or daughter, a good profession, someone who will care for your son or daughter. What else is there to go on aside from their education, what you know about their family etc? When there's a love match, all that doesnt matter all too much - your son or daughter has fallen in love, hopefully with someone they've met in their own persuit of career so that will be taken care of.....
Re: love vs status
Doesn't personality count for anything? Doesn't compatibility mean anything?
Marriage based on someone's profession or earning capability seems to be selling your daughter. The person with greater earning capability has a greater "buying" capability. The girl may be however may be happier spending her life with someone else albeit living a slightly more modest life.
Re: love vs status
Is this generalised statement true "girls in the west marry for love whilst girls in pakistan marry for status defined by education, job, or money".
Are pakistani women as a reflection of pakistani society more materialistic than their western counterparts?
Please comment.
Generalizations will not set you free.
Re: love vs status
Doesn't personality count for anything? Doesn't compatibility mean anything?
Marriage based on someone's profession or earning capability seems to be selling your daughter. The person with greater earning capability is able to "buy" someone, when the girl may be happier spending her life with someone else albeit slightly more modest.
Personality and capability do count for something when both partners are free to make their own choices. if somebody else is making decisions for you, you're bound by their rules, fears, aspirations and biases.
I think the presumption in your post is that the power of decision-making is in someone else's hands, not the perspective boy and girl. If the boy and girl were the ones making the decision, you're more likely to find compatibility and other good things factored in.
Re: love vs status
Many Pakistani girls are now free to make their own decsions yet status does still play an important part in their decision-making process.
The presumption on my part is not that the decision is made by someone else. I was merely commenting upon some statements made justifying the decisions, where the premise was that the decisions were made by parents.
Re: love vs status
my nani, when she was getting her daughters married off, she said that as long as the guy is educated, that is all that realyl matters. doesn't matter how rich he is now, because as they say, paisay haathon ki mitti hoti hai. and she's right. my khalas and mother agree with that point. and that is exactly what my nani did. she got her daughters married to really well educated men mashallah. and sure their lives in the beginning were a bit of work and struggle, but now, they are mashallah well settled.
if you are falling in love, you shouldn't fall blindly in love. you should atleast see what the guy is capable of in the future. what money he has right now isn't his. it's his father's. and are you going to spend the rest of the life depending on your father in law's income? what if he wakes up one morning and decides to cut off the son? then what? if the guy is well educated, and has some sense of decency, he can find a job. and really that is what should matter in the end.
Re: love vs status
arshad, sure compatability and personality counts...but if you take a closer look at arranged vs love matches, theres really a big difference. You cannot know for sure about compatability and personality in an arranged setting. You can get a general idea but contact is generally so limited that you only get to see the potential mate at his or her best and get no idea whatsoever about the day-to-day behaviors, likes, dislikes etc of the potential mate. In a love relationship, western style, the couple generally gets to know each other very well before taking the "big leap". That doesnt really make desi gals and their parents more "materialistic", to some extent sure...but I mean they really dont have much else to go on, yeah?