How are you? I just came up with the new question that is love marriages allowed in Islam since arrange marriages in Pakistan came from Hindu’s traditions and thus Muslims in Pakistan also accept arrange marriages. I think there is no harm with love marriages, but making friends of opposite sex is Haraam. The marriage types listed above involve its own benefits. May anybody please participate in this thread and get involved to answer that question to make me appreciated with my question and Jazakallah Khair for your time.
i dont think one should label it as "love marriage" because it is assumed that when one has a love marriage they fell in love before getting married. How can one fall in love with another before marriage if they didnt spend any time with each other? One can only fall in love after marriage IF they got married according to Shariah. So in my opinion there is no such thing as "love marriage" from an Islamic perspective.
Arranged marriage however doesnt neccesarily mean that it was arranged by family...one can "arrange" their own marriage as well....dont u agree?
The idea and practice of arranged marriages has been present in Islam since the time of the Holy Prophet (saw) himself, who observed this mode of marriage himself. It is not a unique marriage system brought up by the Hindu religion, but has been present since even as far back as the Prophet Abraham (as), and is the only suitable and righteous way of embarking into the matrimony of marriage.
This is why from time immemorial the righteous have been marrying people within their own families, wherein men and women are better aqcuainted with one another and spend time with one another in the compnay of their Parents.
Love for another who is of the opposite sex must be disciplined by following the injunctions and observances set forth in the Holy Quran specifically in Surah Al Baqarah.
first of all the Holy prophet (saw) was not the one who showed any interest in marriage to Khadijah while he was working for her. Secondly, Hadhrat Khadihah (ra) was a 40 year old widow possessing experience and the status of that of a Mother which is why it was suitable for Khadijah (rah) to herself propose for marrige. And thirdly, Hadhrat Khadijah proposed first to Abu Talib before even hinting here interest in Muhammad (saw) either to Muhammad (saw) himself or to anyone else, except Abu Talib, who then conveyed and relayed the message to Muhammad (saw) who pleasurably accepted.
MR. FRAUDIA: and what does that have to do with love? just because one proposes to someone doesnt mean they love them. So basically this goes back to what i was saying earlier …Khadijah (RA) “arranged” her own marriage.
This is why from time immemorial the righteous have been marrying people within their own families, wherein men and women are better aqcuainted with one another and spend time with one another in the compnay of their Parents.
Allah bless you all.
i hope ppl with "luv"' syndrome will understand that arrange ones r actually luv marriage.:) ..
The idea and practice of arranged marriages has been present in Islam since the time of the Holy Prophet (saw) himself, who observed this mode of marriage himself. It is not a unique marriage system brought up by the Hindu religion, but has been present since even as far back as the Prophet Abraham (as), and is the only suitable and righteous way of embarking into the matrimony of marriage.
This is why from time immemorial the righteous have been marrying people within their own families, wherein men and women are better aqcuainted with one another and spend time with one another in the compnay of their Parents.
*Love for another who is of the opposite sex must be disciplined by following the injunctions and observances set forth in the Holy Quran specifically in Surah Al Baqarah. *
*first of all the Holy prophet (saw) was not the one who showed any interest in marriage to Khadijah while he was working for her. *
she did. right?
*Secondly, Hadhrat Khadihah (ra) was a 40 year old widow possessing experience and the status of that of a Mother which is why it was suitable for Khadijah (rah) to herself propose for marrige. *
so someone who is not 40, widowed and a mother can not propose marriage herself?
** And thirdly, Hadhrat Khadijah proposed first to Abu Talib before even hinting here interest in Muhammad (saw) either to Muhammad (saw) himself or to anyone else, except Abu Talib, who then conveyed and relayed the message to Muhammad (saw) who pleasurably accepted. **
yes yes yes yes yes..... I know all that.
BUT
the point is that she met him in some circumstances, liked him and proposed for him.
so in modern day example of love marriage, if I am at work, and I work with some girl and I like her, and I propose for her, it is NOT an arranged marriage in the sense that the marriage question was not initiated by someone other than the two people who would get married.
Just wanted to clear that up
you missed the point. I know the specifics of how that marriage came to be, and the point is that they interacted, she liked him and thus she proposed marriage.
i disagree with that.....once again you can like someone enough to marry them only because they have everything you are looking for in a spouse....this doesnt mean it's a love marriage. "love marriage" is defined as.....a couple who loved each other BEFORE marriage. How can u love someone of the opposite gender (a non mehrem) w/o going against the shariah?
well it would be good if we can first of all define love marriage (as it is called in our culture) and arranged marriage
love marriage is commonly referred to for marriages where the two people like each other or where the proposal process was initiated by one or both of the people getting married, whether they propose to one another, or whether they express their interest to their family which then takes care of the formalities.
arranged marriage commonly refers to marriages where the matchmaking is initiated by people other than the bride and groom..families go looking for a match and then in most extreme cases hook them up without their consent or ay, and in the majority of cases the ppl to be wed have the right to agree or disagree.
now looking at the prophets marriage to hazrat khadija, it is a love marriage than an arranged marriage.
well based on the two options given it is a love marriage rather than an arranged marriage but those are the only options given above.
In desi culture a love marriage is a marriage where the people getting married are the one initiating the process..and I suppose they can do it if it is a marriage of convenience also.
I actually saw a good article on wikipedia on arranged and love marriage etc which I can post here. It also talks about forced marriages and how many ppl confuse the two.
so whether or not people here want to cosider it a love marriage thinking love marriage is bollywood story, its surely not an arranged marriage which in its typical sense is rishta aunties, chai parade and all those other things.
whatever it was it was a marriage of own choice, initiated by oneself, rather than by somepne elses selection or suggestion, or initiated by someone else.
what i ment was that in arrange marriages the couples spend more time with eachother{mostly in company off their elders} then in luv marriages:o ...so its not that u will see ur partner first time at ur wedding which some folk use as an excuse for dating and for other indecent acts..:) ..
convenience?
attraction?
picking random name out of white pages?
if it is based on any sort of personal interest, then it is a love marriage based on the common use of the terminology in our culture.
ppl think that arranged marriages are the same thing as forced marriages which s not the case..
similarly ppl thinking that a love marriage is a marriage where ppl are going singing on the beaches and dating and all is a misconception too.
I ould then suggest that ppl list more categories, agree on definitions and then have a discussion on them based on a common understanding of the trms. i am breaking these into 2 further sub categories..
1)forced marriage (bride and groom have no say)
2)arranged marriage (bride and groom have option to say yes or no to rishtas which come thru family or friends)
3)marriage of own choice (bride and/or groom pick their choice and tell ppl about it)
4)marriage after dating (happy..we can keep all typical bollywood aashiqi maashiqi type stuff in this category)
now if you look at this which is frankly a better list than arranged vs love..
by this token there is nothing wrong with either #2 or #3, but #1 and #4 are not proper by islamic guidane.
yea i agree.....besides labels can be such a misnomer. everyone defines it differently. Islamically....as long as one gets married according to shariah it doesnt matter what u call it.
