Love online

[system]

Re: Love online

oh haaan, I forgot those silly sounds, such a bhai bhulakkar I am The funny thing is, I have just realized that I became a “jeth” six months ago. Never saw myself in this light before today.

[queen_24]

Re: Love online

lol

[sryope]

Re: Love online

@queen_24

mujhay se kahing??

Well… both of us met online…in a chat room…
We kind of started liking each other but we didn’t realize it was love. We exchanged uuuui which was quite a strange act from my side because I usually never used to do that. But because this relation was already knotted up in the skies… I just couldn’t stop myself providing him my number.

We started communicating over phone. He asked for a date which I clearly refused. I didn’t want anyone to use my emotions… just having dates and all that stuff. He then admitted his love for me. I still thought it as a hathiyar of Man asking for a date to a girl. I respected his feelings and clearly refused the next time too. He made several attempts to convince me for a Date and everytime I made it clear if he has really pure intentions he should come first to my home and meet my family and tell them his concerns. All this time we had been talking over phone for hours and hours but we never met.

I was in love by that time but I didn’t want to be betrayed as I knew a lot of love stories around. Its not like I didn’t want to meet him… someone asking me for a date, making me feel special, admitting his love was like I was the real Queen… the way he treated me… but its just I was kind of scared with people around where it is quite difficult to differentiate between who is actually loving you and who intents to flirt you.

He accepted it. Came to my home. Spoke to my family. Went back to home. Asked his mom to talk to my mom. His mom called and said, we are coming at your home next week. And the next week, without seeing me, when they were sitting in my drawing room, his mom straightaway asked my mom to take me as her DIL. He brought his entire family. All were happy and the shocking but great part was… I didn’t need to push the tea trolly to them… lol… They even didn’t bother to look me.

There I realized, this guy really loves me a lot.
Alhamdulillah I am happy now. After 4 Years of my marriage. I won’t say my hubby happened to be the Angel on earth. All of us have good and bad habit… so do I have… so he has… the only solution to have a successful life is… lot of patience and compromises and sometimes understanding… and yes… Luck too!!

P.S., We finally dated after my date was fixed I still have the petals of the red roses he brought to me

Awwe Cute story ..Happy endings

[Eastern_Dresses]

Re: Love online

Queen, that's a very cute story :)

[GlobalGal]

Re: Love online

shaadi.com is different from talking with some random guy or girl online in a chatroom or forums

there are some nightmare stories and some success stories. I guess it does not matter how the two got together, online, childhood friends, chance meeting, through friends, rishtay aunties, he's 20 she's 30, or she's 20 and he's 30.......

At the end of the day, it matters how much they have in common, compatibility, how much they equally respect and care for each other and how much they value the bond and how badly they need to stay together and be with each other after meeting and getting to know each other.

I would love to see how many that met online are still together after 20 yrs.

Queen_24 good luck to both of you

[chanduchamaar]

Re: Love online

@PyariCgudia

Sure, if people don’t lie online…

by lying if you mean: hiding certain things about yourself which are umm.. not very impressive. guys and especially girls do it all the time in real life too. what’s so disconcerting about people lying online? you handle it in a similar way; if you like the conversations and have time to spare just assume that they’re lying(in the real sense of the word and not according to the above definition) about everything but deal with them like you believe them. if your assumptions are proved to be correct, you can easily quit because you never fell for the lies and as a result you’ve gained a lot of experience in judging people correctly. there’s also a chance that your assumptions are wrong, in which case you have found yourself a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. its a fool proof strategy (of never getting hurt) developed over a series of past (read as bad) experiences which works fine for both online and offline scenarios. its a process of hit and trial. you can’t be sure about finding your soul mate (maybe one exists, not sure about it though) in the first hit.

[khattichic]

Re: Love online

PCG yar seriously? I mean you only think those who are ill-shaven, with unwashed skin and pink banyaan are troll....?? How about those who wear Ray-ban or Ralph Lauren Sunglasses.. wearing a Fred Perry T-shirt standing next to Bugatti Veyron?? You think its easy to judge them?? So first of all, don't judge someone from his/her physical appearance!

And even for the social experiment... the whole concept of "DATING" "MUSLIMS" is quite ridiculous. Islam never encouraged dates... to jo wahan aatay hain to obviously wo kese ho saktay hain... iska tumhe bhi pata hoga and mujhay bhi... I am not targeting here those who have been dating their spouses before marriage or who date currently! Just because I didn't doesn't mean I start judging people for what they are doing.. but I personally think that sites mainly built for the purpose of Dating is not a trust-worthy place. In fact.. specifically visiting those sites for the purpose of finding potential rishtas is not fine. Me even never knew our relation could turn into a marriage.. it did eventually but seeking for a rishta online woh bhi on Dating site is ridiculous.

I agree with your point I bolded and again I say, meeting someone online and find him as a potential risshta for you, finally getting married and spending a successful life... its all the luck. But again you are judging people on physical appearance and their ID's.

With all due respect queen, meeting a member of the opposite sex online in a chat room, chatting exclusively and exchanging phone numbers, then having long and lengthy phone conversations...I pretty sure this constitutes "dating" as well. Just because you never physically met your husband out alone anywhere prior to engagement, doesn't mean you weren't "dating" him.

The term "dating" implies interest and intimacy...something beyond platonic hi's and hellos....it can be done from behind a computer screen or telephone cord just as easily as in a cafe, restaurant, park or club.

No offense meant to you, but if you're going to being Islam into this, then recognize that any form of mixing/interaction of the opposite sex in social ways is discouraged,
regardless if it is in person or online.

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Love online

@queen_24

mujhay se kahing??

Well… both of us met online…in a chat room…
We kind of started liking each other but we didn’t realize it was love. We exchanged numbers which was quite a strange act from my side because I usually never used to do that. But because this relation was already knotted up in the skies… I just couldn’t stop myself providing him my number.

We started communicating over phone. He asked for a date which I clearly refused. I didn’t want anyone to use my emotions… just having dates and all that stuff. He then admitted his love for me. I still thought it as a hathiyar of Man asking for a date to a girl. I respected his feelings and clearly refused the next time too. He made several attempts to convince me for a Date and everytime I made it clear if he has really pure intentions he should come first to my home and meet my family and tell them his concerns. All this time we had been talking over phone for hours and hours but we never met.

I was in love by that time but I didn’t want to be betrayed as I knew a lot of love stories around. Its not like I didn’t want to meet him… someone asking me for a date, making me feel special, admitting his love was like I was the real Queen… the way he treated me… but its just I was kind of scared with people around where it is quite difficult to differentiate between who is actually loving you and who intents to flirt you.

He accepted it. Came to my home. Spoke to my family. Went back to home. Asked his mom to talk to my mom. His mom called and said, we are coming at your home next week. And the next week, without seeing me, when they were sitting in my drawing room, his mom straightaway asked my mom to take me as her DIL. He brought his entire family. All were happy and the shocking but great part was… I didn’t need to push the tea trolly to them… lol… They even didn’t bother to look me.

There I realized, this guy really loves me a lot.
Alhamdulillah I am happy now. After 4 Years of my marriage. I won’t say my hubby happened to be the Angel on earth. All of us have good and bad habit… so do I have… so he has… the only solution to have a successful life is… lot of patience and compromises and sometimes understanding… and yes… Luck too!!

P.S., We finally dated after my date was fixed I still have the petals of the red roses he brought to me

thats a sweet story .. How was your parents reaction? I mean about the whole meeting online thing?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Love online

Socializing with the opposite sex is not against Islam as long as you do it responsibly. People say this but then the Prophet talked to women amongst followers and the women engaged him in open discussions. He did not hide behind other family women the way our men do.

[Tempe5t]

Re: Love online

His SAWS interactions with the opposite gender were to guide, teach, resolve issues. It can't be called socializing in the looser, casual sense that we see the word.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Love online

Communication with someone you're considering for marriage is no loose business. It's the avoidance of people talkin to each other that leads to zinna and other problems in the first place. Guys get frustrated and get white gf's to bide time and people hide online preying on women.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Love online

And FYI there is plenty of evidence to suggest that the Prophet got to know prior before marrying them. And also the Quran asks you not to make decisions on marriage based on lust which means you need to get to know the person . That means TALKING to them

[queen_24]

Re: Love online

@sryope

Awwe Cute story ..Happy endings

@Eastern_Dresses

Queen, that’s a very cute story

I am flattered

@khattichic

With all due respect queen, meeting a member of the opposite sex online in a chat room, chatting exclusively and exchanging phone numbers, then having long and lengthy phone conversations…I pretty sure this constitutes “dating” as well. Just because you never physically met your husband out alone anywhere prior to engagement, doesn’t mean you weren’t “dating” him.

The term “dating” implies interest and intimacy…something beyond platonic hi’s and hellos…it can be done from behind a computer screen or telephone cord just as easily as in a cafe, restaurant, park or club.

No offense meant to you, but if you’re going to being Islam into this, then recognize that any form of mixing/interaction of the opposite sex in social ways is discouraged,
regardless if it is in person or online.

“My” concept of dating “here” was physical meetings so anything that you said, doesn’t matter to me. And by Dating-Muslim, I meant the same!

@Sweetmoi

thats a sweet story .. How was your parents reaction? I mean about the whole meeting online thing?

Well, good question.. I told my mother. She was initially very confused and worried.. but then I asked her to meet him at least for once.. I told her, after meeting him, whatever will be your decision..I will accept it… my statement brought her some confidence.

Alhamdulillah, after meeting him, she was almost 80% satisfied She, then, told about it to my father and told him that his family wants to meet us.. and thats how everything was proceeded

[GlobalGal]

Re: Love online

very happy for you queen_24 but sometimes I think even with regular offline face to face love how do you know that it's really love though? Out of the online love stories i've heard the ones that ended in divorce, the behavior and especially compatibility weren't really deeply looked at during the online n phone sessions. Both just wanted to show society that it was "love" and a "you've got mail" type of a superficial hollywood love story but didn't really think about whether it would work out long term. The two online love stories ended tragically where the guys ended up being completely different from how the women thought the guys were from their online and over the phone chats.

Superficially they seemed to click and before marriage everything seemed hunky dory but after marriage the feelings of the guys were just superficial and the phone and online chats didn't really cause love n caring to happen as the women initially thought was the case.

after a few years of being married, one couple had a very volatile and painful marriage that lasted more than 10 yrs mainly because the two people slept in separate rooms and lead separate lives during most of their abusive marriage where the woman lived in fear. The way she described her love story before her marriage, I really felt like trying it too. The other couple that thought it was real love online and that they were really compatible were married for 5 yrs the last two yrs of which the two lived in separate houses.

I guess sometimes people try too hard to prove to others that they found love and their story is special instead of looking at reality and what they've gotten themselves into with this whole online love thing.

I don't think I'll try it because marriage is such a huge risk and especially after the two examples i've seen.

[Mademoiselle]

Re: Love online

Moi. Facebook. Married since November 2012.

[Lilly]

Re: Love online

@queen_24

mujhay se kahing??

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/konfused.gif

Well… both of us met online…in a chat room…
We kind of started liking each other but we didn’t realize it was love. We exchanged numbers which was quite a strange act from my side because I usually never used to do that. But because this relation was already knotted up in the skies… I just couldn’t stop myself providing him my number.

We started communicating over phone. He asked for a date which I clearly refused. I didn’t want anyone to use my emotions… just having dates and all that stuff. He then admitted his love for me. I still thought it as a hathiyar of Man asking for a date to a girl. I respected his feelings and clearly refused the next time too. He made several attempts to convince me for a Date and everytime I made it clear if he has really pure intentions he should come first to my home and meet my family and tell them his concerns. All this time we had been talking over phone for hours and hours but we never met.

I was in love by that time but I didn’t want to be betrayed as I knew a lot of love stories around. Its not like I didn’t want to meet him… someone asking me for a date, making me feel special, admitting his love was like I was the real Queen… the way he treated me… but its just I was kind of scared with people around where it is quite difficult to differentiate between who is actually loving you and who intents to flirt you.

He accepted it. Came to my home. Spoke to my family. Went back to home. Asked his mom to talk to my mom. His mom called and said, we are coming at your home next week. And the next week, without seeing me, when they were sitting in my drawing room, his mom straightaway asked my mom to take me as her DIL. He brought his entire family. All were happy and the shocking but great part was… I didn’t need to push the tea trolly to them… lol…

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/blush.gif

They even didn’t bother to look me.

There I realized, this guy really loves me a lot.
Alhamdulillah I am happy now. After 4 Years of my marriage. I won’t say my hubby happened to be the Angel on earth. All of us have good and bad habit… so do I have… so he has… the only solution to have a successful life is… lot of patience and compromises and sometimes understanding… and yes… Luck too!!

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/wub.gif

P.S., We finally dated after my date was fixed

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/blush.gif

I still have the petals of the red roses he brought to me

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/wub.gif

lovely story After how long did you get married to him?

One day, I will share my story too…

[gul_khan]

Re: Love online

^ yeah lilly same here … one day I will share my story too

[Apricot]

Re: Love online

a friend of mine made a prank call via telephone to a random dude..they got talking..got to know each other via skype..fell in love...and are now happily married mashallah:)

[Deeba1234]

Re: Love online

^That's really sweet..

[inspiron]

Re: Love online

yes i know numerous people who have met via shaadi.com happily married, one couple with a one year old girl. go for it!