Re: Love n life
^True. But Mr.Icon you didn't read the thread properly, The fiancee is pretty nice. And he doesn't hate her or sumthing.
Re: Love n life
^Icon, there are people and there are people. Most young people from our country donot know what they want and thus go and do whatever they are told and that is not to say that its a bad thing as 99% of the times parents mean well. Infact most of the people I know are pretty happy with arranged marriages.
However, the people who DO know what they want, should be given a chance to take their own decisions.
Re: Love n life
You get to life your life once!
Shouldn't one marry the one they would love to spend next 50-70+ years with them.
You reminded me of someone where for the girl guy was the world and one day came back and went. "oh sorry my mother doesn't agree i cannot go on with you". She respected his decision and let him go- there was no point of holding someone back if they cannot standup to be with you. May be it wasnt a true love for her - who knows. I honestly think people who cannot stand up in front of their parents have no damn right to fall in love or letting someone know how they feel about them.
Breaking someone's dream, wishes, desires and WORLD is a terrible thing. It can rip someone apart in Billion pieces and with no hope to combine one as one whole one again.
If i was the first girl i would not want this guy anymore no matter how much i am in love with him. He left me the first time what guarantees me year down the line he might do the same or shove something back at my face oh 'it was a wrong decision'. I would not want to go through that emotional drama.
As far as it goes from the guy's side. He is a JERK. Letting go of someone you turly love and now being with someone else is wrong. Did he tell his fiance there was someone else in his life?
He has ruined 3 lives. If first girl was madly in love with him [her life], his own and the fiance as well. He will always be thinking back of his head how would things would have been with the first girl.
Yo kno sometimes when we make these decisions we don't realize what we are doing. You are talking about living with someone going through each and every moment of your life with that person. And if that person isnt the one you love- i would not go through this.
Mywish! He needs to evaluate his feelings and become a MAN. He is still a little boy. I have no patience for men who cant stand up for what they believe in.
I think he should first speak with the one whose life he is about to ruin. The fiance! she needs to know everything and how he felt about it and what this engagement means to him. If he doens't like her or doesnt feel anything for her - he should not go forward.
Then his second person to approach is the first girl. He broke her world- that S*** hurts. Make sure he lets her know how he feels and what he wants to do.
He needs to take his dad out and have a talk with him. let him know how he feels be honest.
Last person his mother! He needs to talk to her privately and just be himself. He needs to take a stand.
I see so many people going a head with what their parents want and in the end.... i see 2 people living seperate lives....
If one cannot connect with someone intellectually there is no point of that marriage. Its lying to yourself for lying and thats aint fun..
don't do that yourself.....
Re: Love n life
^Good points raised. One more issue that no one has noticed is the Fiancee' herself.
No one mentioned that she might have feelings for him, afterall she is engaged to him. Though I knowfor a fact that in case of an engagement its not as much about the feelings (in a relationship feelings get hurt more) but the social stigma attached to a broken engagement.
So people would be asking a lot of questions, all the tayee, chachi, mamee'z and phupho's who are at odds with the girl's mother would have some thing to laugh at. You guys know how things are. She would find another guy definitely but people do ask questions, Don't you think she would be getting into a difficult spot.
Afterall she was with this guy in good faith.
Re: Love n life
he should talk to his fiance' first [then to the 2nd girl]. let her know everything and see her reaction. if she decides to back down then things would be extra easy for him to convince his parents. but first, why did he even AGREE for the engagement if he was already in love with some1 else. also is he even sure that 2nd girl will marry him? its important to know her view aswell b4 he burns down all his bridges.
Re: Love n life
…run this by me again. 
Re: Love n life
^ Ever heard of apron strings?
Re: Love n life
^
Re: Love n life
"Fate shuffles the cards and we play." -- Arthur Schopenhauer
First of all Mywish, these kids in your story are posers. I don't think they know what's it like to be in love and how to live it. The most known and well praised love-stories in the world are the ones that ended in calamatiy and tragedy. You can't change love or forget it but, fate and life changes everything. Love is a feeling that heels than absorbs in yourself over time and feels ever more pleasing. It's like a roller-coaster ride that you want to be a part of it but get off before you through up. It is not casual and easy for people to bind themselves to one person, and adhere of love at that. We are too selfish for ourselves. If you love someone, you live for them not for yourself, misery happiness combined.
Anyway, people think that love with a man or woman is the sincere one, but at the same time these people droll over the next pretty face and large wallet. If you want to know love, love your food because there is no love sincerer than the love of food. Just make sure you don't go fat :p
Re: Love n life
Mywish!
I know someone who just had a nikah and now divorcing the guy. She knows she cannot be with this guy just the little she knows him. Found him so damn annoying that she is willing to accept crap from the entire family. Guy as far as i know is Mr drama QUEEN and she doesnt want to deal with that.
Her attitude is she doesnt give a crap.
Karne wale kaam kar jate hain. One has to be strong and accept the reality.
Plus rishtedaar are there to clap and do blah blah at the weddings. Once it comes to issues NO chachi or tai or mama or Khalu will come forward and help. So whats the point of wasting one's life of thinking who and who they will disappoint.
As long as guy gets his parents on his side he should face the world
as i always say
ITS ME AGAINST THIS WHOLE WORLD. thats how one's attitude has to be otherwise people will walk all over you.
Re: Love n life
...well said Nia.
Nia's last comment is as bold as you'll get it, in Black & White.
Re: Love n life
Nia Khan and my wish!
Have u been in love?
Do u really know what love is?
Do u really know how is a relationship between a wife&husband?
I just see some empty talk by people who have just seen few soap operas.
Re: Love n life
Inconoclast! i am one heck of a romantic person :love: But at the same time practical person too.
You fall in and then at one point you fall out of love. Thats when reality hits you and you face this world.[but this is entirely different topic]
I am curious to find out your suggestion why dont you share what you have to say then i will answer all of your questions in depth.
Re: Love n life
How about growing some balls. I say both women are better off without someone who can't take a stand.
Re: Love n life
^
how old are you inconoclast and where do you live?
Re: Love n life
The example u gave does not fit in.
Here is a guy who likes a woman but is not really into a relationship with her and is engaged to a nice girl. I say he shud marry the nice girl.
Re: Love n life
something wrong with what i said? meeri angraizi kamzoor hai.
Re: Love n life
I am going to say snap out of day dreaming and face the reality.
You are talking about emotions ----someone’s feelings here.
How can you be with someone who you dont love?
Its a lie!