I have a friend, a guy, Who is engaged to a someone but loves another girl. How he got engaged to the first lady is a long story and one with which most of us are familiar with, pressure from the family.
But before you start throwing stones, let me tell you that he never was in a relationship with the lady he loves though she is aware of his feelings. The guy doesnot connect very well with the fiancee who is a nice girl(and he never tries to badmouth her or anything) but he still wants the girl he loves. What should he do, be honest and break the news to the family and his fiancee and face the wrath, or go along with their wishes and get into a marriage that might or might not work out. What would you do if you were in a similar situation.
^^phsh im sure the parents wont fall ill just because he chooses to end the engagement. its an age-old trick used to blackmail your kids. dukh say tabiat kharaab ho gayee...yeah OK.
I have seen my grandmother/other elders go through much WORSE crap in life and still remain sane.
However, what if it turns out that he isn't a very strong person at the end of the day, Taking a stand against the whole family needs a lot of gutts, Allah na karray if something goes wrong they all would be like " we told you so". Would he be able to handle it.
^I also think it depends on how strong one is mentally and his relationship with his beloved. If its just a crush it will pass, if its sumthing serious he needs to know how much he can sacrifice. If he can't handle the circumstances he should stick to the fiancee'.
The guy got engaged to the first girl NOT due to family pressure AT ALL but only by his own choice. But the second girl really really wanted to marry the guy and threatened him that she would kill herself if he didnt marry her. The second girl was married before and had a child from the first marriage. The guy did not want to break up with the first girl but eventually he did. Do not really know if the guy actually loved the first girl or the second but I know that he until this date regrets breaking up with the first girl. His marriage to the second girl never worked due to many reasons.
Now the couple is in the process of a divorce and she is already going out with another guy.
But before you start throwing stones, let me tell you that he never was in a relationship with the lady he loves though she is aware of his feelings. The guy doesnot connect very well with the fiancee who is a nice girl(and he never tries to badmouth her or anything) but he still wants the girl he loves. What should he do, be honest and break the news to the family and his fiancee and face the wrath, or go along with their wishes and get into a marriage that might or might not work out. What would you do if you were in a similar situation.
the most important is what does that loved lady feel?
does she feel the same for ***?
i think if both of them are in love it will be a big mistake to go on with this marriage he did not choose:(, cause he will be sad, she (his beloved) will be sad and his wife will also be sad cause sooner or later she'll realise that she is not loved:(.
if he breaks his engagment now, his fiance is gonna be sad, for sure, his family disappointed, for sure, BUTif he goes into a more sucessfull relationship with MRS perfect, then after some time everyone will be happier;)
its better for him to make his own decisions and know he his responsible for it than to go with the flow and wonder all his life how it could have/ should have been. both the arranged/love marriage have equal risks of not working out. and if he respects the girl he loves then his family will come to respect the relationship as well. parents might not agree now but they will eventually support him (unless they are just evil) and they will even be part of his happiness, who else will if not for our own parents?
i agree, he just go ahead and annouce it to his family. It would be very painful for the girl at that moment but its better to hurt her now then to break her apart after they're married. abhi shuru hui, i say break the engagement.
You'd think in this day and age adults would make their own decisions, yet when this time befalls on people they succumb to the pressure from parents rubbish!!!
Has the guy ever been in any relationship, like, ever?
are the girls-- the one he likes and the girl he will marry – similar? (like, single, same age bracket, looks, family)
How long has the guy known the first girl – the one he loves, and when did he realize that, "oops, i “ her.”
how old is the guy?
How old are the girls?
^^ Me too. btw, I luv this song, Sweet dreams are made of Tears, …
Isn’t it so true of this song, “Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused by you”
I can’t agree more with your second post, you took the words out of my mouth.
Orpheus
**Honestly! **
You’d think in this day and age adults would make their own decisions, yet when this time befalls on people they succumb to the pressure from parents rubbish!!!
the very same parents wud later on accuse him of being zun-mureed and what not, in that arranged marriage too
her.”
not a good idea. what right does he have to test her and play with her feelings?