Love marriage ofcourse!
I cant stand the fact that how can some shrewd matchmaker aunty could find me a better match ugh i would never ever give this right away to such retards who do this for the sake of money-making!
You are obiously confusing arranged marriages with forced marriages. The majority of decent families I know of would never let their girl get a taste of whats out there, hang around with boys before finding "the one".
Moreover, arranged marriages are not really forced marriages as mentioned above. Usually the guy/gal can meet in the presence of someone and get a feel of whether they are compatible.
The biggest disadvantage of love marriages in my opinion is that when the prospective guy/gal are around each other, they put on their best attitude and I hardly think that you can *really *get to know in a couple of weeks/months.
arranged marriage!
the whole process of falling in love with the person u are arranged with.. is more interesting than trying to arrange to get married to the person u are in love with! lol
well i wana add something here is that love dont need expectations plz note that if u have expectations then this is not love...........:)
Au contraire, the reason why many love marriages fail is because everyone is expecting the other to be the Shereen/Farhad and when some of those expectations don't come true which is obviously the case, then the feel heart-broken.
The primary reason of misery in marriages and life in general are expectations.
um, in reality, it doesn't matter whether it's a love marriage or arranged marriage. You don't know the 'real' person until you are living with them 24/7, regardless.
You are obiously confusing arranged marriages with forced marriages. The majority of decent families I know of would never let their girl get a taste of whats out there, hang around with boys before finding "the one".
Moreover, arranged marriages are not really forced marriages as mentioned above. Usually the guy/gal can meet in the presence of someone and get a feel of whether they are compatible.
The biggest disadvantage of love marriages in my opinion is that when the prospective guy/gal are around each other, they put on their best attitude and I hardly think that you can *really *get to know in a couple of weeks/months.
U don't think those in "arranged" situations are acting and on their best behavior?
um, in reality, it doesn't matter whether it's a love marriage or arranged marriage. You don't know the 'real' person until you are living with them 24/7, regardless.
totally agree with it, do not expect to not have any surprises in store afterwards in both instances.
that said, the whole arranged marriage setup and concept is changing, both in and out of Pakistan. families do initiate the process but the rest is left totally with the couple, they have the last word. they are given a 'grace' period to get to know each other, no one is told about the ongoing process until the couple is ready to move ahead. they meet and are given a little time and privacy within the realms of decency and decorum. thats the way its been in our family for a while, and it really works out well for everyone, especially the couple, they are very much involved in the process, no more basing the decision on a random picture.
U don't think those in "arranged" situations are acting and on their best behavior?
Obviously, most of them are, but then every KNOWS that in such a case, they ARE putting on their best behavior, whereas in dating etc they BELIEVE that that's how the person is.
You are obiously confusing arranged marriages with forced marriages. The majority of decent families I know of would never let their girl get a taste of whats out there, hang around with boys before finding "the one".
Are you saying that girls who end up going for a love marriage get a "taste" of whats out there & hang around with boys just to find one special person. No offence but that's bullcrap. Just because a girl ended up liking someone & letting her parents know that she is choosing a guy herself doesn't means she is out there "tasting" boys. That's such a rude statement.
Moreover, arranged marriages are not really forced marriages as mentioned above. Usually the guy/gal can meet in the presence of someone and get a feel of whether they are compatible.
The biggest disadvantage of love marriages in my opinion is that when the prospective guy/gal are around each other, they put on their best attitude and I hardly think that you can *really *get to know in a couple of weeks/months.
I am not against arranged marriages as I know that either one can work fine or either one can go horribly wrong. But I do know that people who think love marriages don't last long have no knowledge of what they are talking about. What makes you think that people in our culture who end up loving a guy or a girl hang out with each other 24/7.
Second this is not one of your college dating games where a person puts on their best behavior & the other person falls for it knowing if something goes wrong they can break it.
Mine's wasn't an arranged marriage but before getting emotionally involved with my then fiance I did an Istikhara which came out positive. I asked my parent's for their opinion & if they would have said no I would have completely respected their decision & not gone ahead with it. My mom says it herself that she is sure that even if they were to find a son in law by themselves they would have never been able to find such a nice guy on their own. We have known each other for 3 years & with every passing day I find my husband to be more loving & respectful. Alhumdulillah & MashaAllah for that.
Just because you are doing a love marriage doesn't means you are not supposed to use your brains.
Are you saying that girls who end up going for a love marriage get a "taste" of whats out there & hang around with boys just to find one special person. No offence but that's bullcrap. Just because a girl ended up liking someone & letting her parents know that she is choosing a guy herself doesn't means she is out there "tasting" boys. That's such a rude statement.
I'm talking about normal cases. For a girl to like someone, usually she has to be around that person which inturn means that usually she will be in a place like a university/school/office where there are other guys as well. I am not saying that every girl goes around meeting guys, she can make an opinion just being near or around them. Not much wrong with that.
There are obviously some cases like first and only love and then other cases in which the guy/gal never actually meet, but have a distanced love relationship. No offence, but I have observed it to be pretty common for both girls/guys to check-out/meet a number of people from the opposite sex before settling down with the one they like.
I am not against arranged marriages as I know that either one can work fine or either one can go horribly wrong. But I do know that people who think love marriages don't last long have no knowledge of what they are talking about. What makes you think that people in our culture who end up loving a guy or a girl hang out with each other 24/7.
Second this is not one of your college dating games where a person puts on their best behavior & the other person falls for it knowing if something goes wrong they can break it.
Mine's wasn't an arranged marriage but before getting emotionally involved with my then fiance I did an Istikhara which came out positive. I asked my parent's for their opinion & if they would have said no I would have completely respected their decision & not gone ahead with it. My mom says it herself that she is sure that even if they were to find a son in law by themselves they would have never been able to find such a nice guy on their own. We have known each other for 3 years & with every passing day I find my husband to be more loving & respectful. Alhumdulillah & MashaAllah for that.
Just because you are doing a love marriage doesn't means you are not supposed to use your brains.
You have a love marriage, good for you and I wish you all the happiness and success in your marriage. Obviously, some love marriages turn out to be really great and I hope that your's turns out to be great as well.
Other than that, I think that people who fall in love, get that person and lead a happily married life are very lucky. Personally though, I'd prefer arranged marriages.
*Both arranged and love have a beautiful aspect to them. And truly it does not matter at all in which way you got married, because its just as easy/hard to make a marriage work. *
I would go for love, just because thats how i found my boytoy:@:!!
Off topic, but these labels are kinda weird. Its like saying “love marriage” is the only one consisting of “love” and “arranged marriage” is an alternative option to the marriage full of love.. lol (I know thats not what they really mean, buh whatever )
OH MY GOD, how many more threads are we going to open on this ghissa pita topic, this horse is dead, let me introduce a new option, how about FORCED marriage? I vote for that one.
OH MY GOD, how many more threads are we going to open on this ghissa pita topic, this horse is dead, let me introduce a new option, how about FORCED marriage? I vote for that one.
Lol - now that you've got a daughter, I bet you do! The older my girls get, the more I feel the same way :)
)