Love marriage

Lifestyle Relationships
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The married ones here how many of you had love marriages? How easy did you find in terms of the whole process?

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Re: Love marriage

Let's give this thread a bit of controversy: Love marriage comes about as a result of haraam actions :)

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Re: Love marriage

^And nevertheless some of those love marriages turn out to be successful.

Arranged marriages which are imposed (and there have been a few examples of those here)....the imposing is not halal either.

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Re: Love marriage

two wrongs make a right?? or are you saying that ‘the actions’ that lead to a love marriage are halaal? :konfused:

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Re: Love marriage

^ I guess that would depend on what you mean by 'the actions'.
I dont know, I thought you can always really like and admire someone but the actual part of 'love' starts when you're married?

I'm not married, but he had known me through our university's Muslim Student Association. It took about 2 years to get the yes from both sides because we aren't from the same country.
Usually it does take longer if it's not arranged.

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Re: Love marriage

Imposed marraiges are forced marraiges not arranged marriages. :smack:

People you have to understand arranged marriage can be a love marraige too :slight_smile:

Mine was a case of love at first sight but all of it was arranged prior to me having any idea… :cb:

It was a simple matter of "Faris meet :wub:…

:wub: meet Faris…"

We both had the option to say no but we decided we needed more time and so we strolled about in the gardens and went out and about with our fammilies and decided it was the best time of our lives.

And now before you know it… were like it was all meant to happen. Kismet.

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Re: Love marriage

shak:wwnn:?

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Re: Love marriage

Very very easy peasy - I tell you mate ....

When I first saw her - I got gobsmacked by her wit and beauty so it took me six months to reveal my sincerer feelings to her - and then she took another six moths to say ' Yes' to me ....

Then it took me another one year to convince her to marry me - regardless of my race and ethnicity ..

when we finally broke the news to our parents _ I was eventually got kicked for my house for thinking to marry a Non Syed and my mother Aqq'ed me from the property - and get my accounts seized ( Same as what USA and european union are doing with Arab leaders thesedays) ..

Her father got me kicked from my job - so for living I had to work at Gas stations / Indian restaurants

Her brothers with their hooligans mates gave me hell of beating on many occasions ...

She eventually got locked in her house and was under surveillance ...

so one fine day - we decided to leave our houses for good and we ended up living in Brixton

But finally we get married and life became more hell -- now she beats me every day and makes me do all house chores and I cruse my luck ...

Moral of the story - when I got the first beating from her brother - i should have known what I am getting into ...

But As I said - It has been easy peasy and she loves me to bits .... :@:

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Re: Love marriage

^Lol. I can't tell if you're being serious.

Ah..if only it were that easy. Love these days requires a lot more courting. You don't want to send some girl who you saw, liked and admired a proposal unless you want to be known as a weirdo.

And I don't deny that. I'm just pointing out the facts.

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Re: Love marriage

What ? you mean my real life sounds like a fib to you :naraz:

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Re: Love marriage

Nowhere did I say that two wrongs make a right, nor did i say that the actions which lead to a love marriage are halal.

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Re: Love marriage

mine is love, process was fine, nothing special. no laraai ..

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Re: Love marriage

just that i sought clarification…so you REDVELVET do solemnly declare that in your opinion actions which lead to love marriage are not halal…:eek:

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Re: Love marriage

aap log hat thread ko kharaab kyun kar dete ho? jo sawal hai, uska jawab de do! jis ne nahin dena, na de...

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Re: Love marriage

You don't seem to be the kind who can get mesmerized by Bollywood/Hollywood's overrated portrayal of 'love' where the guy goes ga-ga over the girl and the girl is googly-eyed over the guy, fire-works happen and your heart goes into bouts of cartwheels.
I've always thought that it's something that can be built off on mutual respect for each other, accommodating yourself according to your partners needs/wishes, an admiration for the other person's good qualities and accepting them with their flaws. Your relationship just slowly reaches a different level of affection or 'love' once you start living together intimately as husband and wife while you maintain all those other things throughout and you can't just expect all of that to happen before the wedding. Another thing is people change, marriage changes people and some people have a hard time adjusting to that. Wallah, I've seen so many friends go through this now its like I almost expect it. They meet a guy and go through this obsessive phase where they think they found that 'Mr. Perfect' and they're like in another world for a while. They have this glazed look over their faces and at times its even hard to communicate with them because it's like they're not even listening to you. They get married and it's all perfect and bliss for the first couple of months and then here it comes.. the depressive 2-3 months where they think their marriage is falling apart because their partners have changed/in-laws issues/not enough attention etc., surely, they do get over that phase and do just fine later on. I'm very sure guys have issues too , new responsibilities, nagging wife etc., . So you really can't know it all before your marriage.
But yeah sending a random stranger a wedding proposal is definitely a no. The time required for courting though depends on individual preferences. People have different expectations out of marriage and are looking for different things when selecting that significant other. Sometimes just one meeting is good enough and sometimes multiple meetings might not just cut it and that's okay as well.

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Re: Love marriage

" don't seem to be the kind who can get mesmerized by Bollywood/Hollywood's overrated portrayal of 'love' where the guy goes ga-ga over the girl and the girl is googly-eyed over the guy, fire-works happen and your heart goes into bouts of cartwheels."

^ for what it's worth, that wasn't sarcasm.

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Re: Love marriage

how are love marriges haraam .. i don't understand this.

love marriges are not harram ... cuz your not doing anything haraam . Haraam would be somthing like if u loved a guy and had sex with him without marrying him. love marriges are almost the same as arranged ones , the only difference is that in love marriges you already know who u wanna marry .

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Re: Love marriage

the process of 'getting to know' is not halaaal striclty speaking islam...you can not 'hang out' with an opposite sex person..

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Re: Love marriage

There is nothing wrong with already knowing who you want to marry. The wrong is in the process of making them like you back.

No, I'm not. I was talking about the real world.

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Re: Love marriage

It's possible to learn about someone or get to know about them if u see them at college/uni/work everyday.. If a guy and girl have studied in the same class for years (or even just months) they'll prob have a v.good idea of what that person is like..

It's a bit over simplistic to say 'love' marriages always involve haram, I know a few girls who got proposals from guys at their uni who they never even went out with, that's nowhere near haram, is it, even tho it wouldn't be classed as an arranged mariage..

(Even if two people are dating surely the solution would be for them to move towards marriage rather than the parents refuse the match for 'moral' reasons or marry them off to someone else to somehow punish them, never understood what the hell that achieves anyway apart from the parents feeling back in control..)