stoppit
December 26, 2009, 2:00pm
34
*firstly i had said that all those people that have had arranged marriges have had succesful marriges, and not all but some love marriges are most likely to get a divorce than arranged marriges.
don’t agree
what i though was naive is that you had said “same way, girls (i’m not saying you) who have been bought up which that same idea have also been bought up with the ideas that you do whatever your husband and inlaws tell you to do, divorce is not an option” yes when you get married and are living with your inlaws ofcourse you adapt and do alot of the things they want. but what you have to bear in mind is that is and extent and limit to what you do for them. If i wasnt happy with my inlaws and my husband, i will try and make my relationship work. but if it was too much to bear, my parents will not object if i wanted a divorce. obviously they wont be happy and no parents would be, but they cant stop me because they can see its not working and i am working towards a dead end. *
secondly "then you get those girls coming on here complaining about their husbands/inlaws/life but they can’t actually do anything about it coz “my parents said i have to stay”. there are sooo many people who have had love marriges and experience the same problems..who come on the same forums complaining about their husbands and inlaws. those that have been disowned dont want to get a divorce because they know, if they do they will have absoloutly knowone to turn to and will be alone. if they turn to there parents they will say you’ve dug your grave so now lay in it. if they do take you back, then they will taunt and make remarks about how much shame you have brought etc.
i don’t know a single love marriage couple that has been disowned. thankfully even the more uhm ‘traditional’ parts of our extended family and friends wouldn’t do that.
thirdly, i did not mean that love marriges do not work, of course they for gods sake you have chosen you partner lolmy judgement about love/arranged marriges was purely based on what i have seen around me.
**around me.. well right now, it’s all the arranged marriages that are struggling, especially the girls (with less than great husbands).
i know if someone is having is arranged marriage, it’s comforting to think it will work out and be better than the alternative. in reality, it comes down to the people involved and if the other person is everything you expected them to be from what you have heard.