Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
My aunty is married to her cousin, she hated it frm day one. And even tho she wanted to divorce him. They wudnt let her. Now she has kids. Theres no chance.
Hav you ever thought because people were so narrow minded, and all they thought about was 'baystee' and what people wud say. And everyone wud chat sh*t about the Girl. They was too scared to have a divorce back in the day. But these days you still get sum narrow minded idiots, But divorce is there for a reason! Not coz it was Love or Arranged for God sakes!
so leaving your hubby because he chews with his mouth open is open mindedness.
I think people are more narrow minded now, its me me me, if I dont like ... I dont want it ...
that is why most divorces happen in our society. There was a time when reasons were big, like hubby cheating or abusing the wife. Now a days, if hubby does not have the same music taste, its a reason good enough to leave him.
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
What wud you prefer? a arranged marriage and then your hubby have 2-3 other wives. Or Love marriage and you have a decent guy with one wife.
My dads friends, even in my family have had arranged marriages yet found sum1 they love and marry her too. Is that better?
Arranged marriages aint the be all and end all.
Men frm back in the day have Mixed race children, yet had a 'arranged' marriage too. It makes me SICK!
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
And they always end up leaving the White wife for the Pakistani wife, Why? Because of family nagging them bending their ear. Why cant people stand up to mummy and daddy? Why are desi men so scared to express what they want?
But instead you end up with 3-4 mixed race children with no dad. And God knows what future they have.
And 3-4 Pakistani children with the dad and end up following the same footsteps as daddy. OH but it will be a arranged marriage ofcourse. No love marriage for these children.
God Forbid that ever happens. Rolls eyes
^ have u ever felt u didnt get the support from ur family? seriously?
mine was a love marriage... and ive never felt that i havent been supported. Infact, i was supported to find someone on my own.. and even now, i get the support from both sides...
I was just thinking loud Sadzz, I was not stating a rule. But the fact is that the divorce rate is much higher in our society than it was 25 years ago. Love marriage rate is also much higher in our society than it was 25 years ago. Is there a connection between them, I dont know for sure.
Re: Arranged Marriage vs Love Marriage [split from future spouse being Namazi]
Hubby cheating? Erm no why do you think asian women put up with the men doing that? Because if they divorce what wud people say?
These days women are more open to what they want, And for that reason they are getting bashed for it. Women are more independent and men cant handle it, thats why divorce happens.
If people want a divorce, Its there for a reason.
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
TLK.
25 years ago things were alot different.
Its time to update yourself jus like your ipod nano.
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
But I dont have Ipod nano :( .. please send me one ASAP :D
Well said :k:
And in addition to all of that, there’s that pressure to please your spouse, his/her family and jannay walays because it will come down to, you chose him/her and this is how he/she turned out to be. Doesn’t apply in everyone’s case but it happens with many.
Mods, this should be merged into FG's thread on the same topic
haan...zara haandi pakaa ke kar ti hooN
I was just thinking loud Sadzz, I was not stating a rule. But the fact is that the divorce rate is much higher in our society than it was 25 years ago. Love marriage rate is also much higher in our society than it was 25 years ago. Is there a connection between them, I dont know for sure.
Seeing all these numbers, I wonder if there are statistics available on this. That would certainly be a big project.
But I dont have Ipod nano :( .. please send me one ASAP :D
See you dnt even hav a ipod nano, Thats how behind you are. Get with the times Gosh!
Seeing all these numbers, I wonder if there are statistics available on this. That would certainly be a big project.
Hey you know what I say about Statistics.
See you dnt even hav a ipod nano, Thats how behind you are. Get with the times Gosh!
I entertain myself in the shower by singing for myself. Nano is not going to replace that pleasure, can it.
so leaving your hubby because he chews with his mouth open is open mindedness.
I think people are more narrow minded now, its me me me, if I dont like ... I dont want it ...
that is why most divorces happen in our society. There was a time when reasons were big, like hubby cheating or abusing the wife. Now a days, if hubby does not have the same music taste, its a reason good enough to leave him.
u know wierd people
Oh yeah…I know…
*
*
[khana pakatay huway, chamcha ziyada zorr se hilaya aur mirchein par gaye aankh mein :(]
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
:)
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
more often than compared to arranged marriage. But why? Is it because love marriage is inherently a bad decision based on emotional response whereas an arranged marriage is decided by elders taking more than just the 'chemistry factor'?
I beg to disagree.
I think the divorce rate for arranged marriages is lower because the type of people who agree to such an arrangement are the compromising types to begin with. They are, either by choice or pressure, fine with not making their own decisions completely.
Whereas the types who go for marriage of choice are strong headed personality types. They like to take charge of the situation. And when things don't go as expected they again take charge of the situation and make decisions, good or bad is another topic for discussion.
So, my point is that arranged marriage in itself is not the recipe for a divorce-free marriage but rather the people who agree to it are more than likely to put up with the negative aspects of a marriage much more easily than those who go for love marriages.
that's a new way of looking at the two types of marriages. but i also think that many times love marriage aren't as successful b/c sometimes the two people put all the emphasis on the imaginary "love" that they so deeply and strongly want to exist but don't really think about the other factors like does he care or respect her or whether the families get along, whether there is truly any compatibility or was it just superficial.
who knows, i've seen aunts that have had successful love marriages and arranged marriages. the three divorces i've witnessed were two from arranged marriages and one from "love" marriage
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
More love marriages are happening but do you know that the divorce rate in our community is huge, way way higher than the rate of that same in our parents generation (and they had arrange marriages) :p
I agree with TLK..infact i was having a discussion with my mother why there are so many divorce in our community these days.whats the reason?
i know around 2 couples who got divorce recently..1st one got divorce after 3 months of marriage ..2nd couple got divorce after 6 monoths of marrige
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
I agree with TLK..infact i was having a discussion with my mother why there are so many divorce in our community these days.whats the reason?
i know around 2 couples who got divorce recently..1st one got divorce after 3 months of marriage ..2nd couple got divorce after 6 monoths of marrige
I've been married for 3 years now, mine was the kind of love marriage in which your family disagrees and shows cold behaviour towards your decision. Till now they haven't accepted my wife and didn't even met her in person... and it was because of understanding of my wife's mom and sister and brothers (excluding her dad who till now is not happy) that we got married.. the reason.. same punjabi pathan conflict, i'm a pathan and my wife's a punjabi.. and our parents well.. the kind who'll never agree to such combination :)
I've seen lots of divorces that started with arranged marriages and ended with divorce. One thing my wife always say and to which I agree that no matter how bigger the conflict or fight between husband and wife, never involve any third person be it your brother, friend, aunt, mom, dad who ever and believe me we've had our ups and downs and following this rule of not involving third person we've always made through successfully and love each other even more when the fight is over...
I agree with the thoughts shared before that in love marriages it is your own personal decisions that are made before and after marriage and you have to work it out on ur own to make it successful and in arranged you have to respect your family and parents... but no doubt divorces in arranged marriages are much greater then the one with love marriages.
Last thing... i think we read it everywhere and hear it everywhere.. there's hardly any tolerance left in us.. especially in our generation.
Re: Love Marriage Ends in Divorce
Divorces in 'love marriages' are greater than those in 'arranged marriages'. Fact.
Again not arguing for or against either but I agree with TLK pretty much.