Re: love/arranged marriage
its all good.. the ring doesnt matter to me (ok it will once i get it but thats cus it'll be special)..
arritey... i will try my best to get used to all this :)
Re: love/arranged marriage
Are we discussing marriages here? runs away
Re: love/arranged marriage
^ yeah n wedding rings specifically......... Run forest run
Re: love/arranged marriage
If you take marriage seriously , then find a love for yourself and ask your parent's approval of it. Your parents are not some retards, they have experienced world more then you.
It it important that you are not blinded by some cheap ass quick "love". You should find somebody who shares your value, tradition, religion, way of life.
Don't end up marrying a feminist retard, who later kicks your parents out of your house. IT is also important that your wife treats your parents with respect.
Re: love/arranged marriage
^ why dont u agree with the last bit sara?
Re: love/arranged marriage
I should clarify. The last bit is a personal preference, he prefers to have his wife live with his family, like most guys, that’s fine. But I dont’ agree that every woman who would rather live alone with her hubby is a “feminist retard”. Remember, living alone with ur husband isn’t haram 
. I think I can be respectful and not have to live under the same roof. But the other advice, about having my parents’ approval and sharing the same values and traditions which are VERY important, I feel is absolutey correct I agree wholeheartedly with..
Re: love/arranged marriage
^ its not haram to live just with ur hubby... noones saying that. But, if he'd like you to live with his parents... even if it was later in ur married life (or earlier).. i dont see the problem with it. Sure, u need time together and stuff... but parents also need love and attention. Just cus their son is married.. doesnt mean they arent his parents anymore and dont require being cared for..
I think a girl should be more open minded about such things and not make it into some big deal. Most guys would like their future wife to say "yes, i wouldnt mind living with your parents" even if he never intended on living with them...
i personally wouldnt mind at all
Re: love/arranged marriage
It’s not really about minding it or not, but the attitude that’s given when girls dont want to. I try not to be too stubborn about it because there’s no point since there’s nobody for me right now. I don’t have a cold, clear stance on living with in laws, and I probably wont until I’m married. I may very well change my mind. But I don’t think I’m a “feminist retard” for not treating this as somethign that’s farz upon us as many seem to be. WheN i was in Pak I asked my family “is it wrong to not want to live with my in laws” and they all reacted as if I’d told them that I was living with a boyfriend …it’s that type of attitude I’m against, not the actual choice itsself ya kno? Does my wanting to break away from tradition make me a retard then?
Re: love/arranged marriage
^ the thing is its really hard to make someone understand why u dont want to live with ur inlaws without sounding like a snob or disrespectful... I just think noone should be so so stubborn about it.
Imagine it this way.. if ur parents were sick and old.. would u not want someone taknig care of them? would you not want to go over to their place and spend tiem with them? I certainly would.. and your inlaws require just as much love care and attention as ur own parents do..
neways, im totally derailing the thread
Re: love/arranged marriage
I guess I can understand the snobbish/disrespctful part. Like I said I’m not as stubborn about it as I guess I come off and I’m content in knowing that I wont’ have to worry bout these things til the time comes 
But yeh anyway, this thread isn’t about living wiht in-laws, it’s about what type of marriage one would prefer :halo:
Re: love/arranged marriage
sometimes in laws can cause a lot of problems. i know someone who got married to a nice paki girl. but his mom didnt like her and she never spoke to her, but they lived in the same house. this caused problems for obvious reasons and they later got seperated. his older brothers also got divorced because of the mom.
arranged marriages remind me of dating games. would you like to chose bachelor number one, two, or three?
Re: love/arranged marriage
^ yeah ur right. I know a lady who made her son divorce his wife, then he remarried and got a divorced b/c of his mother. In-laws can be a problem thats why its always better to seperate the two. You can still love and respect parents just dont let them get involved in your married life.
Re: love/arranged marriage
16 is woman for all intents and purposes.
Re: love/arranged marriage
arranged or love? both need a good understanding between the couple to survive. i have seen good love marriages collasp and completely blind arranged marriages still successful after many years. it is just like a plant. you have to continue to nourish and take care of it to grow. as i mentioned before somewhere here. it's a full time job with lots of overtime to go with it.
Re: love/arranged marriage
What eva u guys say but for me… mine 100% will be arrange… if a guy likes me he shouldnt ask me but my parents …
No love shove in my life… 
Re: love/arranged marriage
i’ll arrange my love marriage…har kisi koa khush rakhna acha lagta hai, kiya karoon…
Re: love/arranged marriage
^he'll still meet her. whath happens is the guy's family meets the girl's family and that's when the guy and girl meet each other. they talk for a bit, ask questions, etc. and then if they like each other, they'll give their parents the ok. generally i think parents only agree to meet with the other family once they've done each other's background check. i have a bunch of arab friends and they say that's how it's done in their families as well.