when it comes to deciding if i should say yes to a rishta or not. there is this one guy in pakistan that my parents are checking out aajkal. good family, parha likha, making a more-than-decent living… well, everything seems to be perfect except for the fact that he wanted my family to tell me that he has no plans of moving away from pakistan.
i havent really ever lived there, except when i was in the 4th grade. im really nervous coz living in pakistan after shadi was never an option for me… ofcourse my parents think anything should be an option when it comes to a good rishta. my sister on the other hand is fleeing from pakistan in a few months and has been looking forward to this day since she got married there. and now she is trying to convince me to say yes to this proposal. (dont worry, i did give her a piece of my mind)
lekin kiya is it worth it to accept it and live in pakistan all my life? or wait God knows how many more years to find someone in north america? ive been here almost 7 years now and havent come across anyone thats worth my time, so far. :Pretty:
Thats such a tricky one...meet him first and see how things go. You might really like him and decide it might be worth it. On the other hand, you could convince him to move to the States eventually, even if its after a few years.
If you havent lived a good part of ur life in Pakistan, I think you should look for other options, because I dont think you would be able to properly settle in Pakistan. Life is very different there. If I were you, I wouldnt be able to cope, unless he's one in a million and you think is the one for you. But its gonna be pretty tough.
hey Reemzy very interesting… something a lot of us girls growing in the west are subjected to in life…
hmm it depends how compromising u r and whether he’ll understand ur point of view as well.. the best thing is to talk to him about it before u finalise anything.. i think sometimes us girls dont give the guy a go.. some guys in pakistan are very sweet and do understand the problem.. and he’ll probably respect u for your view and openess
i know of a girl who grew up here in OZ and after getting married she moved to pakistan… she said it was different, but if the guys from an middle-upper class family.. things do work out fine (really bad generalisation.. sorry).. neways shes back here now after 3 years.. and even though its tough.. at least shes happy
i know exactly wat u mean when u say “if the guys from an middle-upper class family.. things do work out fine”
thats wat my khala has been telling me, kay ager he is from a good family and financially stable then u can have a wonderful life in pakistan.
and i know my parents want me to say yes coz… well u all know why. i have an option of going back to Khi in dec to meet him and all… maybe i should do that.
i think i am pretty compromising when it comes to certain things. and i would have lived anywhere with a guy if i had actually picked him myself, u know wat i mean?
*It depends on how well you've adjusted
and adapted to American way of life. If you still
have flashbacks about your time spent in Pakistan
it may work out for you. But if you're grounded completely
in the lifestyle here, living in Pakistan can be not^such^a
^pleasant^experience specially when the person
you'll be living with has already made up their mind about
not even wanting to move to US. Maybe you should
discuss that with him before tying the knot should u choose
to do so in order to avoid any hangups later on. *
first of all getting advice from a discussion board filled with strangers is not the best thing...yes it gives you different perspectives but close friends and family are really important. My parents orginally wanted me to marry a cousin who was a doctor but that cousin wanted to practice in an under developed region, near our family village to better serve Pakistan , to which my parents realized that I would not be happy or be able to settle to down.
As for what to do...It also depends on what you want to do...are you also going to school and hoping to work and have a career?Could you continue in Pakistan?
I've heard some great stories of women born and raised in the west who did really well in Pakistan....but honestly I think the whole set up is different, everything from shoping, driving, language (not just speaking urdu but speaking the "slang" culture of the language). For me and my husband it would be very difficult....thus going to pakistan was not an option.
However my french speaking husband loves hte idea of living in France which freaked me out....I don't speak french and the idea of living in a country where I don't speak the language or know anyone is scary..but it would be only for a few years and would be a wonderful experience. You really can't make a decision till you meet him and talk to him.
Reemzy, it is very important that you know what is classified as “acha rishta” from your (not only your parent’s) perspective.
I wouldn’t suggest anyone from Pakistan to come over and settle abroad or vice versa. I have heard one too many horror stories of girls not settling in a different environment. Nostalgia can be a killer. If you are willing to change/compromise your lifestyle then don’t limit yourself to Pakistan or Pakistani only....
Go for a Japanese guy...whachya say catty :-p
look in a marriage, where u live is not gonna mean more, after ashaadi it all boils down to living together happily and as easy as it sounds to live happily ever after, it requires a lota hard wwork...
if hes a guy who u can see urslef spending ur life with, then say yes.. u kno if hes makin good money in Pakistan, it wont be soo bad... PPL arre livin there u kno.. Personally i would LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE to live in pak but my hubby wont move, but
imagine if u let this rishta go an u marry someone who lives here an if u arent happy, is it worth it....
as long as u kno that this guy will go out of his way to put a smile on ur face, dont worry about where he lives, even if he lives in under a newspaper, AND hes willin to stand out in the rain for so u could be under the lil shelter, its worth it (did that make sense) i wanted to write it in urrdu, but ehhhhhhhhhhh ..
i dont kno.. what im talkin about...
yaar, u know, life is always full of changes, ups and downs...
and its upto you how you deal with the situation...if you want, you can make a small change seem big in your mind, and if you want you can make a big change seem small...
its all about how you deal with it...
i think your saying yes or no to a rishta should only and only depend on what your family and you think of the guy and his family...
other things can work themselves out if there is that basic understanding and care for each other between the couple imho...
so base your decision only on that...
since he is in pak, any chance of your meeting up with him before you decide to say yes or no? try to
^ there is absolutely nothing wrong with living in pak. but its hard for someone to adjust to that lifestyle after spending great chunk of ur life abroad. i guess it also depends on how adjustable u r.
my advice if u think u will not be happy and will have problems adjusting there, say NO.
^^For the last decade, I am travelling back and forth...from abroad to Pakistan to get the feel to resettle there...but still looks like a foreign country to me...I think I should go there every 3 months instead of a year... :)
(dont worry, i did give her a piece of my mind) 
very interesting… something a lot of us girls growing in the west are subjected to in life…