My mother died in July and i don’t know how to cope with the emptiness inside. I’ve lost it totally. Life’s so unfair…
wajii
Inna lilahi Wa inna ilaihi rajeoun, apki walida ki wafat ka sunn kr bohat dukh huwa Allah(SWT) unhain jannat ul firdous main buland muqaam dain or sab Ghar walon ko Sabr-E-Jameel"Ameen".
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Innah lilah hay wa inna ilay hay rajaoon.
May Allah give maghfarat to your mother and a high place in Jannat. Ameen.
There is nothing is wrong with griving over loss of a loved one . Any time we lose someone we love we have a process of grieving that has to be gone though.
Death is a part of life, we all are born and we all will die at some point.
Read Quran and Fatiha for your mother that that may give you some relief .
Time does heal all thing's. You never forget, but there will be a day when you wake up and it won't hurt as much and you will remember all the good time's without crying.. There are 5 steps and they don't all go in this order. Denial Anger,Barginging with Allah ,Depression, and Acceptance.
Be extra kind to yourself while the parts of you that can cope help the parts that can’t. Work less, if possible, eat carefully and keep you fluids high. Rest more and if you can’t sleep for longer periods of time, at least give yourself more quiet, alone time. Concentrate on an exquisite level of self-care. You have just entered the healing process, so be aware of that fact and compensate wherever you can.
Talk to others about your loss as you are doing here but do it face to face with people who love you and know you. Talk to them about how nice , kind , loving and caring she was.
May Allah(SWT) give you patience and strength to cope with this loss. Ameen.
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may ALLAH give you peace
This is the perfect month to bow down to ALLAH and beg him help you through this difficult time..
I can't magine what you're going through and would be at a loss if my parents weren't here
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Keep your daily prayers...and pray for your mother! Have a well dug in Somalia in your mother's name!
May He give you patience and May He grant your mother Jannah!
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Inna lilahi Wa inna ilaihi rajioun.
Time is a great healer. We all lose loved ones at one point or another and whilst we all cope with it differently, the pain is the same.
The best thing to do is to busy yourself with other things, start reading more Quran and the translation, to get a better understanding of the way Allah works. Allah promises us relief for every hardship we go through - remember that at all times - your pain will lessen one day.
Try meeting new people, pick up hobbies that you've always thought of doing but never really got a chance to do. Give charity on behalf of your mum - it will give you a different kind of peace.
Also, talk to people who knew your Mum - perhaps your siblings, more than likely, they are going through the same emotions as you are. Look at your Mums belongings and pictures, they often bring happy memories and it's good to remember the happy times - do this with your siblings.
If you want to cry, then let it out, don't bottle it up because it will only make it worse.
One other thing, you should maybe sit alone at some point and try to reflect on life and your relationship with Allah, it may help you in finding inner peace with yourself.
I hope this helps somewhat.
May Allah grant you sabr, strength and happiness. Ameen.
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Life was so unfair, i felt too when my dad passed away 9 years ago in ramadan. I thought my life was useless but it was time which cured pain. i was just admitted in university, and that made my life busy busy.
may Allah raises the status of your mom and my dad in jannah. Aameen.
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inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'oon.
May Allah swt give your mother a place in Jannat Ameen, and May Allah swt give you sabr i'A
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May Allah rest her soul in peace........
Recite Quran-e-Pak as much as you can.
May Allah give you sabar
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Ameen to all the duas
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You’ll get through it. You never forget, but the pain does get less. 
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hang on to your memories, think now what your beloved mother would like you to do, im sure she will want you now to do well in your life and eventually be happy.
It will take time, if you need to talk with someone you should find that person to talk with (specialist or an understanding friend) it will help clear your mind and thoughts just talking about your feelings. best wishes.
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if you don't mind, i'd like to share my story with you....2 yrs ago, i lost both my mother and my father, just 30 days apart. that's right, in the same month! they both had cancer...my parents had been divorced for quite a while, and my father had moved back to pakistan just a few months before his cancer diagnosis...my mother was diagnosed 6 months after that, and passed way within 8 eight months. that year my sisters and i were back and forth between pakistand and US, so that one of us was always with each of our parents.... the day my mother passed away, one of my not quite yet 3 yr old twins had to be hospitilized (his 3rd birthday came in the hospital, just 3 days after my mother passed). i was in the ER with my baby when i got the call from home that Ammi had stopped breathing. I missed out on my mother's janaza/tadfeen/soyum etc because obviously i couldn't leave my son...it was a very dark, tragic, unfair time..i completely shut down, and put up walls so high, that even my husband couldn't get through to me! i was basically just going through the motions of life, for the sake of my children.
a few months later, i was up one night, unable to sleep, which unfortunately had become a regular habit, and was on facebook, looking at some picture albums posted by various friends from a wedding in our community...it was THE social event of the season, and I purposely didn't go, because I couldn't stand to see all my parents friends and hear condolences and people asking me how i was holding up,etc...in the pictures, i kept seeing a lady we know, who had not only lost her teenage son in a tragic car accident, but her husband as well a short time later...she was laughing and radiant, so beautiful and colorful...here i was, an ADULT who was mourning the loss of my parents, and here she was, an ADULT who had buried her CHILD & her LIFE PARTNER!! Yet she had picked up the pieces and moved forward!
What i'm trying to get at is that night something clicked inside me....life MUST go on...no matter how awful you are feeling, or how unfair life has been to you, please remember that somewhere out there, there is someone who has it worse off then you do. Does it hurt? Yes! Is it unfair? Yes! But what are you going to do??? In my case, I had 3 beautiful (mA), young boys who needed me and depended on me...i owed it to my parent's memory to do right by them, and hard as it was, and still is, I found a way to move forward. Don't get me wrong, there is not a day that goes by that i don't feel that void & emptiness, it will always be there, however, when i look at my children, I see my parents in them! And everyday, it hurts a little less....
All we can do is pray for our parent's maghfirat...I hope you can find some inner peace and closure..take care of yourself....
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i just can't imagine the emptiness and pain, and this may sound so patronising but just have sabr..
Some hadiths I found which may be of some help.
On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Allah (mighty and sublime be He) says: 'My faithful servant's reward from Me, if I have taken to Me his best friend from amongst the inhabitants of the world and he has then borne it patiently for My sake, shall be nothing less than Paradise.'"[Bukhari]
Allah, the Exalted, says:
"O you who believe! Endure and be more patient..". (3:200)
"And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirun (the patient)". (2:155)
"Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning." (39:10)
"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)
"Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer). Truly, Allah is with As-Sabirun (the patient)." (2:153)
"And surely, We shall try you till We test those who strive hard (for the Cause of Allah) and As-Sabirun (the patient)" (47:31)
There are numerous Verses of the Noble Qur'an inculcating patience and extolling it.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Allah, the Exalted, says: 'I have no reward other than Jannah for a believing slave of Mine who remains patient for My sake when I take away his beloved one from among the inhabitants of the world".[Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: Child, wife and parents, etc., are the dearest people to everyone. It is a great sign of Faith to accept their death as the Will of Allah, to bear their loss with patience. Wailing and saying nonsense things show weakness of Faith. The reward of patience on such tragedies is Jannah while the result of impatience is displeasure of Allah.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: "He whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction".[Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: Troubles of this world like grief, calamity, disease, poverty, loss of life and property, etc., have a benign aspect for a Muslim in the sense that on account of them he turns towards Allah and begs mercy and compassion from Him because of which his sins are forgiven. Thus, in these troubles there is a blessing for him in the Hereafter.
Abu Sa'id and Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Never a believer is stricken with a discomfort, an illness, an anxiety, a grief or mental worry or even the pricking of a thorn but Allah will expiate his sins on account of his patience".[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith mentions the special Grace and Mercy of Allah for the Muslims. It relates how Allah turns the hardships and troubles suffered by a Muslim into a means of expiation for his sins. But this is only possible if the believer exercises patience. However, if he starts wailing instead of showing patience then beside suffering hardships, he would be deprived of the reward which lies in bearing them patiently. Thus, he shall have to take the burden of additional sins also.
Ibn Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I visited the Prophet (PBUH) when he was suffering fever. I said, "You seem to be suffering greatly, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet (PBUH) replied, "Yes, I suffer as much as two persons." I said, "Is that because you have a double reward?" He replied that that was so and then said, "No Muslim is afflicted by a harm, be it the pricking of a thorn or something more (painful than that), but Allah thereby causes his sins to fall away just as a tree sheds its leaves".[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Prophets have to face more than ordinary troubles and for that reason their reward to bear them is also increased. Thus, the excess of hardships and grief is a sign of perfect Faith and not a sign of Allah's displeasure.
Life may seem very bleak right now, and you are hurting but just have some faith in Allah swt and allow yourself to grieve. Give yourself time and inshallah it might not be so raw...may Allah swt ease your hurt and grant your parents Jannat al firdaus, ameen.
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inshaAllah you will join her one day in jannat ul firdos and that would be forever!!!do lots of good deeds in her name,read quran and make duas...thats the best gift you can send her way for now!
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Innah lilah hay wa inna ilay hay rajaoon.
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Thanks to every body for all the prayers condolences. I get the point all of you are making here. Especially i'm really touched by your story(khattichic).
I'm just relying on time that it might help me find a way out of this darkness. It's just that a lot of unsaid things ,unspoken wishes are left behind and one wishes that why didn't he say it all when the other person was alive...I wanted to tell my mother that I loved her so much and also wanted to apologize for anything i might have done to sadden her. I am sorry ami & i love you so much....:(
To all the people whose parents are alive , I would seriously ask them to take a lot of care of them because this treasure ,once lost ,can never be found....
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Ameen to all duas.
Makes other issues here seem so minor. May allah give you sabr and peace. ameen.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.
It may not seem like it, but this too shall pass even if the grief seems unbearable right now. All I can say is don't put any time limits on your healing, and don't listen to anyone who tells you how long it should take you to deal with this and "get past it." Some people can move on in 6 months or a year, some are still struggling 5 years on. Bereavement isn't unique to anyone, but your grief is personal and no one can imagine what it's like for you, or tell you how you should feel. I hope that helps you take your time to find peace at your own pace.
I find solace in the reminder that death is just a change of outfit, a transition. Like stepping out of a costume and becoming free. Your mother's spirit is untouched and will remain so. We're all going the same way, some sooner, some later. Remembering this eases the pain of not being able to see/hold/touch your loved one.
Your mom knows you love her. Tell her anyway, and talk to her whenever your heart is full. Our communication doesn't end just because someone's moved on.
Godspeed.
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you never forget the pain but you somehow learn to live with it and move on. you have no other choice. :)