looking after hubby

FrozenFire · May 10, 2005, 8:28pm

Re: looking after hubby

lazy_daisy:

I read a book given to me about how wives should look after their husband
This book was handed out by a member of the Tablighi Jamaat

“When your husband comes home, u should ask him if he is hungry and give him food, then press his feet and arms” (that means massage).
“Your husband is on a similar level of respect as your father, so you must never let your husband serve u food, if he does try to serve u food, u must say no and serve it to yr self, cos your father would never serve u food, but u must always serve your husband and not let him serve himself” (What happened to “Ladies first”

“U should not waste your husbands money and buy useless things”

“Manners on sitting in a gathering… U sit in one place and not move around / fidget, and you should not do things like clean your nose. If u need to clean your nose or similar, you should try to wait or quietly leave and clean your nose then come back”

“In gatherings, u should not be the first to start speaking” — Er, If everyone did that, then no one would talk!!!"

What it boils down to is:

U should be a lifelong slave and servant to your husband, when he comes in to the house u should take off his slippers, tell him to put his feet up and attend to his every needs so he never lifts a finger and turns in to an absolute couch potato… And u shouldn’t speak.

Its SOOOOOO funny, written by an Indian tablighi man, when u read it u will see it applies to Indian culture. Even got manners in the in-laws house. i.e. U should do everything yr mother in law says and have no life of your own. He has no idea!

For those of you who wish to read more I’ll post the name of the book and author tomorrow

thats unfair…women’s status is the same as men.

                                                     For men their right and nothing more, for women their right and nothing less :)

funguy · May 10, 2005, 8:38pm

Re: looking after hubby

Did he dedicate the book to his wife?. You know those one liners in the preface... for sangeeta, my wife and everything for the patiece while I wrote this...stuff

system · May 10, 2005, 8:55pm

Re: looking after hubby

Bahishtee Zevar by Ashraf Thanvey…check it out, its the bible for all Paki Indian newly wed girls…those who hv any doubts, pick up the BZ and find out for yourself…all this stuff mentioned above will look like HALWA…sweet pudding…

H_Khan · May 10, 2005, 11:36pm

Re: looking after hubby

Sounds good so far, have they expanded to the US?

lazy_daisy · May 11, 2005, 6:47am

Re: looking after hubby

For all those of you who are interested.....newly married or those-to-be married gentlemen who want to mold their new wife into a model wife.

the book is called "Guidence for Muslim Wife" by Maulana Majazazami

God Bless him

Code_Red · May 11, 2005, 7:44am

Re: looking after hubby

There should be training for Muslim Husbands… Wanabies too

I remember once at a relatives home, mother came from office (she is a doctor) she was tired and asked her son to massage her feet. The son 16,17 at that time was the only son and very ladla for the family. He was reluctant, doing it in front of us and asked his younger sister to do the massage. The mom said no, only you do it right :k:

So he had to do it chaar-o-na chaar.

So the point is that the ladies (mothers) play vital role in developing the habits of future husbands

lazy_daisy · May 11, 2005, 12:11pm

Re: looking after hubby

Ive just been talking to my friend who is a Hindu originally from India and he says that a few things have been ommitted, the wifey should first of all take the hubby's shoes and socks off make him comfortable and then start on the food and massage...
and he feels that this book aought to be supplied to all women of the Indian sub continent..

Dont worry ladies...i told him I'd take my shoe of and hit him VERY hard around the head....
im wearing nice spiky heels today!

system · May 11, 2005, 1:31pm

Re: looking after hubby

"make him comfortable "…pls elaborate…

minah_pa · May 11, 2005, 1:34pm

Re: looking after hubby

........spiky heels? pls elaborate (I loooooove spiky heels, make me feel fine!!!!) :D teasing....

Thank you for posting the name and author of the book.

system · May 11, 2005, 1:36pm

Re: looking after hubby

me first…and I aint teasing…

lazy_daisy · May 11, 2005, 1:50pm

Re: looking after hubby

lol.... they are ...actually i shouldnt be posting in the religious forum, this is the only one that maulvis read isnt it.... they might issue a fatwa against my shoes

they are lovely you know... and they go tip tap tip tap when i walk!

(i have a fondness for shoes and i have been known to subconsciously gravitate towards shoeshops...Oops what am doing here I think to myself as i get out my credit card)

Pinstripe_Danda · May 11, 2005, 1:53pm

Re: looking after hubby

Yeah..it is true..Unfortunately influence of islam in the Indian culture. Need to keep these religous idoiocy away from polluting the culture.

Sara516 · May 11, 2005, 2:02pm

Re: looking after hubby

Actually it's the other way around.....

Pinstripe_Danda · May 11, 2005, 2:13pm

Re: looking after hubby

^ a patriarchal system keeping women as chattle is the muslim influence...

lazy_daisy · May 11, 2005, 2:17pm

Re: looking after hubby

pinny, if you had 2 options the first where the woman was the above type... brushes your teeth for you and all that rubbish or the modern want it all and want rights ontop of that which one would you rather have?

If I was a man I would rather have the first type..... I'll just hand over my dentures and say clean'em lady!

Sara516 · May 11, 2005, 2:18pm

Re: looking after hubby

Well some Muslims need a lot of improving coz they're more influenced by their culture... but there's nothing in Islam itsself that orders men to keep their women that way...

Pinstripe_Danda · May 11, 2005, 2:23pm

Re: looking after hubby

In a mate, I wanted someone who is independent, ambitious, type-a like me, good educational pedigree, over 5'8", stunning, athletic, well versed on the arts and comes from a non-religous, liberal background.

If I wanted a wetnurse or a maid or a slave as a wife, I would have moved to Saudi.

I wanted these above qualities in a person, so that when I have a daughter, she has a role model who has qualities that the modern world prizes and along with me, willl prepare her for a successful and fulfilled life.

Mashallah..all is on plan...just need a daughter now..sons are so nikkammey!!

minah_pa · May 11, 2005, 2:23pm

Re: looking after hubby

Muslims aren't stupid, just set firmly in the concrete past. (Sorry, you edited as I posted)

You're right, it is more of a cultural thing than a product of Islam.

Danda - There are Hindu that have the same patriarchal mentality with their women too, it is not a primarily Muslim trait in South Asia.

Pinstripe_Danda · May 11, 2005, 2:24pm

Re: looking after hubby

^ It is a muslim influence in south asia. what I said 4 posts ago.

Sara516 · May 11, 2005, 2:27pm

Re: looking after hubby

Don’t you already have a mate?

I wanna have sons so I can mold great desi men… thre’s such a shortage of em now…