I was asked to explain why a certain guy at my University doesn’t look at women in the eye when talking to them. My first reaction was to tell the person asking the question to go ask him but that didn’t fly. The blue eyed middle aged white woman who asked the question explained that she is offended by his lowered gaze because she thinks his lowered gaze is an expression that she (or woman in general) is not worthy to be looked at, is not an equal and that she is a temptress devil who is not there to help him with his office work but to seduce him to bed.
I explained rather helplessly that most likely it is not the case but lowering of the gaze by a man is a sign of respect in our culture and not disapproval. This argument was a shot in the foot because then I ended up trying to explain why I look at her in the eyes and he doesn’t and doesn’t that mean that I don’t respect her?
Has anyone else been faced with similar situation? How would you respond?
I explained rather helplessly that most likely it is not the case but lowering of the gaze by a man is a sign of respect in our culture and not disapproval. This argument was a shot in the foot because then I ended up trying to explain why I look at her in the eyes and he doesn’t and doesn’t that mean that I don’t respect her?
Has anyone else been faced with similar situation? How would you respond?
If I were in your place, I would have simply insisted that she ask the person she was talking about.
So how did you manage to explain to her that why he doesn't look at women and why you do?
Has anyone else been faced with similar situation? How would you respond?
Never...
If the guy is a Muslim, (which you haven't told us he is) I would simply say that Muslims are not supposed to stare eye to eye with women when talking to them and are commanded to lower their gaze when talking to them...
If the guy is a Muslim, (which you haven't told us he is) I would simply say that Muslims are not supposed to stare eye to eye with women when talking to them and are commanded to lower their gaze when talking to them...
LJ
How many Muslim men do u know follow that verse or even know about it? By the way, intent is modesty and respecting each other, one doesnt have to take its literal meaning to be modest and respecting of others.
Subhan'Allaah just say the truth and DONT say its culture, its religion(if he is muslim). say it stops him for being attracted to women just as the religion said so. if she feels silly tell her not to because it might be because she is pretty.
dont compromise and dont feel ashmed to tell them the truth and the wisdom behind lowering the gaze.
Its Islaam, if they dont like it then thats their problem. we do our duties which are pleasing to Allaah even if the world is against it.
Quote some verses and some explanations of those verses guys.
Oh BTW, the guy is a Muslim and a Pakistani. Allegedly, on the day of orientation he demanded to talk to a male clerk. When told that the only male working in that office is the Associate Dean, he reluctantly start talking to the women.
And I definitely don’t want to be involved in a situation where I have to explain someone else’s actions based on my religion but when being cornered and questioned, its hard to pass the buck.
By not looking someone in the eyes when talking to them shows disrespect, not respect. Surely 'lowering the gaze' is meant so men don't lust after women with their eyes - not to prevent them to carry on an adult, respectful conversation. If a man is such a pig that he can't talk to a woman without undressing her with his eyes and flirting, he should stay home or say some extra prayers to prevent his sinful thoughts and actions.
30. Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
Seminole we believe the Quran to be a complete and true book of Allah. If it says somthing, thats how it should be followed. You obviously dont beleive in it, so refrain from commenting.
There are many things in many cultures/religions that I find disrespectful, some guy lowering their gaze doesnt hurt anyone.
You know I posted it in this forum rather than another because I was hoping for some cut/paste material, which is usually the norm, so I can send her that and be done with it. So, anyone has a link to some article/fatwa regarding this, preferably by a long bearded Maulvi Sahib picture on the side? I am being serious here.
30. Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.
Seminole we believe the Quran to be a complete and true book of Allah. If it says somthing, thats how it should be followed. You obviously dont beleive in it, so refrain from commenting.
There are many things in many cultures/religions that I find disrespectful, some guy lowering their gaze doesnt hurt anyone.
There has never been a more misunderstood or misinterpreted book than the Quran, even with thousands of supporting man-made scripture, so maybe you shouldn't be so dismissive of my comments. This is a good example, does 'lowering your gaze' mean don't look them in their eyes or does it mean treat them with respect and don't look at them lustfully. So many already think women should be covered from head to toe, are the eyes even off limits? What kind of pigs are men if they can't look at a women with respect? Perhaps that was the norm and culture in 7th century Arabia, but surely today with women in positions of power and active in all aspects of society, it is not possbile to avoid eye contact. It
hahaha..look this american born american…he does not find any thing to criticize in islam so he wants males to look on women hahahaha..thts just plane immaturity… so semi u want ur venemous western culture in ur countries?
As if American culture is the only one that is venomous.
It really just shows your immaturity if you think looking at a woman when talking with her is anything other than respectful dialogue. If you can’t talk to a woman without having impure thoughts perhaps you should pray more or even be emasculated.
This thread isnt about authencity of the Quran or its interpretation. I believe that its very respectful if a man has his gaze lowered.
Great, that is your opinion and probably derived from the culture of Islam. In other cultures it is rude and disprectful to not look into someone eyes when speaking with them.
semi beta,this is the way of giving women respect...there is no way and in any condition,such act is disrespectful for any1......islam provides safety to women from every angle...pardah to males atitude....i cannot see thing wht so eva to debate here...my brother,u r making senseless comments...
and yes wht abt ur "western evil" culture??..tthousands of rape every month,illegal children etc etc
