i am so so so lonely. I?m afraid i?ll go into depression over this divorce. I can?t function properly
**May Allah be with you, May Allah ease your pain…
Take care of yourself, talk to parents, close ones…
See a psychiatrist as soon as possible and go for therapies before it gets worse…**
I don?t feel like taking care of myself. parents will be involved once they are in town.
Therapy.. still deciding if i should go
i don?t have dil ka sukoon. Sometimes it feels like there is something heavy sitting on my chest, hollow
I think a lot of us are deprived of something one way or the other and hence go through this phase. The only way to kick out elements of pre-anxiety is to get busy, like really going out and engage in every positive activity thats within your scope.
Try volunteering in any projects if you can. Helping those in need will provide you a lot of peace.
Even while staying online try to hook up with all the positive fronts while ignoring all the dark elements. Divorce is one of the most bumpy rides in life no matter where and who you are. But just like other negative things, you have to let it go and push harder to resurface in the brightness
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Sorry to hear that 
I am not sure but it may help as well if you try. That’s what I usually do to breakup the cycle to give a chance to natural repair process to begin.
sleep therapy:
I physically exhaust my self like by running, jogging long walks, cleaning or cooking or anything you may prefer … to the point that you are left with no energy, goto sleep. Sleep is a natural healing process.
Water therapy:
Find water where you can swim, beach, lake, a near by swimming pool and keep swimming to the point where you are not able to swim any more. Then just sleep face up on water for a while.
in case you can’t find water fill up your tube. Put on some slow music, If can you find Lotus perfume or extract put few drops in water, get in and go to sleep.
Dance till you Drop:
If you don’t feel like doing other stuff and you like music and dance. This is your thing keep dancing till you drop.
If you are a religious person even better, find a quiet comfortable place, close your eyes and start reciting. The best tool to break your cycle.
may Allah help you through this difficult time (Ameen)
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Yes and some weird stuff just in case nothing is working for you.
That is what I experienced people from other cultures do:
- Stop using your usual perfume. stop using any or if you have to try something very different.
and stay away from your usual perfumes. - Change your bed direction so that your face points to North in sleep.
- during the day … while standing/sitting try keeping your face towards North as much as possible.
- Place a mirror outside your bedroom window so that it reflects light away from your bed room.
- If your house has two entrances. start using the the other Entrance.
It may sound silly but for some reason this stuff works for them. It may work for you as well.
My personal fav. that does wonder. cut your hear (as much as suites you … but do cut your hear)
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I am naturally exhausted as i havent slept properly (read- 3ish hours at best) for several days straight now. And i work full time.
i will try those things suggested, and i have somewhat kept busy by seeing friends and stuff, but its very temporary relief. And constantly being busy doesnt seem to work for me cuz the sadness keeps taking over me like a shield of some sort.
Thanks for your response. Please don’t mind but I think this kind of “naturally exhausted” is because of negative energy. The personal experience that i have shared with you is to break this cycle of "naturally exhausted/ read: negative energy.
One thing is very simple. Find lotus extract/perfume. Try any Egyptian perfume shop in your area. You may find it there. put a drop on index finger and gently apply it on temporal area right and then left.
later whenever you have time you can try adding few drops to the bath tube. keep water warmer then normal. you can add lotus perfumed candles to the mix. Start enjoying being new you.
This too shall pass.
Talk to people around you. Family, friends, therapists and let it off your chest. Once you’ve done that try to stop thinking about it and talking about it over and over.
Really try to do other things that empower and uplift you. You know what those things are in terms of what keeps you engaged and happy (i.e physical activity, reading, attending events, etc) depending on your personality and interests.
It will take time so don’t expect the pain to go away. Some days you’ll feel super anxious, sad, depressed, crying your eyes out, other days not so much. It will get better 1% at a time and that’s okay. Even if you are 1% healed every so often that is a good sign because that is one step closer to reaching a point where you feel 100% healed and content.
Don’t dwell on the past, you can’t change it. Some people are not meant to be in our lives forever. People change. Sometimes we don’t ever get answers from people or understand why things happened the way they did. But do understand that there is a better future out there for you. You have to create it and you alone are responsible for your happiness.
The reason you are depressed is because you are uncertain of what the future holds. Everything you thought to be true has now changed and its the feeling of being alone scares you. Remember that you can do it and you will make it on the other side where this will be distant memory. The pain will go away. You may remember this as a scar that you have left behind from a scrape. When we fall and scrape ourselves the pain is immense but over time the wound heals and only a scar remains. The scar is a reminder of us overcoming our pain. We no longer feel the pain but grow from it.
God did not put you through this to leave you hanging. There is something bigger that is to come out of this and your job is to figure out what that is. It will take time but you will get there. You’re in so many peoples thoughts and prayers. You can do this.
With much tenderness and good wishes.
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**Yes, you should go for therapy…
There is absolutely nothing wrong in that…
Dil ka sukoon tou sirf Allah k zikr/kalaam mein hai…
Plz take a moment and think abt it, zindagi mein ‘Allah k shukr’ ki kami tou nae?? Namaz, sajdey ki kami tou nae??**
@pktun aap ko bora to nahi lage ga aagar mein aap ki bat par tabsira karoN???
I understand that for support hum her jaga Allah or oss ke rasool ko Dal dayte hein.
laykin amoman Azdwaji zindgi ki onch neech ka taluq miaN biwi ke apne ma’amilat hein,
iss ka Allah, Nimaz sajde ki kami se ta’aloq joRna … munasib nahi laga … …
to arz hai keh Ali (r) Fatima (r) ke haan na’ozobillah Allah ya nimaz roze ki kami nahi thi jo un ke haan bhi onch neech rehti thi.
ameed hai aap ne meri bat ka bora nahi mnaya hoga.
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**Sir bura kis baat ka manna hai?
Lekin aap ne meri post ghor se parhi nae…
Me ne azdwaji zindagi ki mushkilat k hull k liye namaz sajdey waghera nae kahey…
Me ne dil k sukoon k liye Namaz sajdon aur shukraney ka kaha, Allah k zikr krne se ye hoga k dil ko sukoon milega aur mind fresh hoga…
Zindagi mein himmat na haarney ka jazba peda hoga, agey barhne ka hosla peda hoga…
Baqi apni apni soch hai, I believe Allah k zikr ka hamari hr trh ki zindagi k muamlaat se bht gehra talluq hai, aur ye mera Aqeedah hai!**
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chalain baat aap ne aqeeda tak ponch di hai … I rest my case.
It will be a painful experience, but you have to go through … you have no other options. Stay strong.
Hey keep yourself busy…meditate breathe in breathe out…no need to be depressed or worried…shukar karo you dont have kids..
I’m trying, I really am. but I can’t help the self pity part. and there are times when I think " I got this !!!" but that feeling extremely temporary and I go right back to being sad. I have been trying to make food at home (meaning, having a plan to do so after work) and just can’t even bring myself to do that.
I have moved out, and my personal items are scattered all throughout my living room and bedroom etc, I am yet to hook up the tv, internet etc etc, because I can’t bring myself to do anything.. but I try, I do. I even get up to do those things, and then I sit/lay right back down.
sometimes I think of joining a meetup group, but frankly, none of them interest me and then with my state of mind, not sure if I am in the right place to be meeting new girls to become friends with etc. as much as I don’t want to be alone, sometimes just constantly hanging out with friends can get tiring too.
even one particular friend whom I was relying on for help, kind of backed up. it’s funny though because we both have been going through ALOT over the past few months and she would call me/see me all the time so we could vent and share thoughts. the minute things started turning around for her I noticed she stopped calling as much, and even when we do talk, she completely ignores whats going on with me and only talks about herself. selfish much? eh, whatever. another friend who I am relying less on.. so keeping all friends close isn’t working.
Are you able to visit with family nearby? Have you tried meditating or yoga? I think stretching and breathing will really help, just try for five minutes to start.
I am sorry you are facing this, but you will find love again.
Your condition is due to your distance from Allah. Decrease your distance from Allah, prostrate and draw near to him. You shall be freed of all the worldly troubles nothing shall bother you, not mirth nor sorrow. Fall down prostrate and draw near to Allah.
I will start praying regularly again iA
So Sister @akaprincess how can you feel lonely, when here we have over Ten persons fussing over you and your loneliness!
Each one giving genuine advice and showing concern,
do not loose hope!
we all pray that Allah bring Happiness in your life!
Ameen!