LOL Wedding night issue

Lifestyle Relationships
161

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

so......... whats the decision now??

is walima ok or not??

162

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Waakai, bahut “chalky gaaa OOOZZZZZ ko!” :smack:

Angels are extraordinarily nice angels who were never taught to wish ill or curse for that matter. Bargain chorain, mainay sabzee/mithaai hi nahi khareednee aapsey.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Erm TLK quoted a hadith I believe. That angels will curse. Before calling someone out for saying something, you should think why they said so. No need to smack your forehead over it.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

*Bukhari and Muslim report from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: *
“If a man calls his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he goes to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until the morning.”[SUP]17[/SUP]

*Muslim reports from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said Imam: *
“By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed, and she refuses him, but the One Who is in heaven will be angry with her, until the husband is pleased with her once more.”

*The angels’ curse will befall every woman who is rebellious and disobedient; this does not exclude those who are too slow and reluctant to respond to their husbands: *
“Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala) will curse those procrastinating women who, when their husbands call them to their beds, say ‘I will, I will . . .’ until he falls asleep.”

165

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Sorry boss. :salute:

166

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Lol! :hehe:

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

There are two sides to this.. the wife has rights as well:

This Hadith indicates that it is unlawful (haram) for the wife to refuse her husband for sexual intimacy without a valid reason. Menstruation will not be considered a valid reason, for the husband has a right to enjoy her from above the garment (on top of cloths). (Sharh Sahih Muslim, P. 1084) However, this does not in any way mean that the husband may force himself over her for sexual gratification. The Hadith mentions that the husband spends the night in anger or being displeased, which clearly shows that he must restrain himself from forcing himself over her. Had this not been the case, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would have advised the husband to gain his right in a forceful manner.

Similarly, it should be remembered here that, the wife must obey her husband in his request for sexual intimacy unless she has a valid reason. She must obey him as long** as she does not have to forego her own rights. As such, if the wife is ill, fears physical harm or she is emotionally drained, etc; she will not be obliged to comply with her husband’s request for sexual intimacy. Rather, the husband would be required to show her consideration.
**
Allah Most High says:

‘On no soul does Allah place a burden greater than it can bear’ (al-Baqarah, 286)

**Many times it is observed that the husband demands from his wife to fulfil his sexual needs no matter what state she is in, and uses the above quoted Hadiths to impose himself over her. If the wife is not in a state to engage in sexual activities and has a genuine and valid reason, and the husband forces her, then he will be sinful. Muslim husbands should realize that their wives are also humans and not some type of machines that can be switched on whenever they desire!
**
Finally, these matters should be resolved with mutual understanding, regard for one another, love, gentleness and putting one’s spouse before one’s self.

The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) has reported to have said:

‘None of you can be a true believer until they love for their brother what they love for themselves.’

The importance of this is even greater in a marital relationship.

Source: http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?id=2360

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

^ I did not claim that the husband should force himself on her.

Valid reasons such as illness I can understand. Emotionally drained? Fearing physical harm? Some women take undue advantage of these two random reasons. What possible physical harm is there in the act? Unless she is pregnant and the act might cause harm to the pregnancy, and there are ways around that too, what other physical harm is she fearing?

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

What if the couple has had an argument....and there hasn't been any closure and he wants to have sex.....should she give in even then? What pleasure would he get from that? One of my married friends (yes, Muslim) once said that it annoys her when her husband desires physical intimacy when she's still upset about an issue. So, are illness and fatigue the only acceptable reasons. I understand that both parties need to be considerate of one another........but I'd like to be believe that Allah is a lot more understading/merciful....and not so black and white as some people make Him out to be.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

:smack:

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

How khush kismat we are to have your diwaangi plague us again. It was a long and welcome respite. But khair…as the saying goes…all good things must come to an end. :hinna:

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

'Emotionally drained' seems a perfectly valid reason to me, after all she has the Islamic right to enjoy sex/intimacy as well.. it's about mutual love and respect..

Fearing 'physical harm' might refer to girls who are newly married or inexperienced (meaning husband should take it slow and be patient) or even just unwell.. Am sure there are plenty of situations where that could apply..

Diwana, perhaps you could try and give some sort of logical counter-argument rather than just a smiley if you think you know better?

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

To each their own interpretation of Islam and their duties. Technically there should never be an argument, the wife is supposed to give in. After all, there is a hadith proclaiming that if ever you were to bow down to anyone other than Allah, then it should be the husband because of the greatness of his rights over you.

The person who has most rights over a woman is her husband
The person who has most rights over a man is his mother

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

This is just a ridiculous example.

"closure". Such a western concept.

If a husband calls, you are supposed to answer. It's very clear cut.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

And sometimes COMMON SENSE can have more rights over a person than a relation.

Good grief. Is there a shoot yourself smilie?

176

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I never realized marriage is supposed to be so miserable.

Demesne why do your posts always make me nauseous?

177

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Yes, it’s :sadaf :

:sadaf:

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I dont know if a husband would want to have sex anyway if he "doesnt have closure" . it goes both ways.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

A wife is akin to a bakri....then. An argument takes place, she's unhappy......but that's okay....she can splay out her legs cuz it just doesn't matter....sex has NOTHING to do with an emotional connection.....it's purely physical.........sure if she's not into it, it increases the chances of physical discomfort....may even hurt her spiritually..........but that's a-okay.......cuz marriage is a one-sided affair and she's a friggin bakri.

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Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I dont know marmalade. It's your own personal perspective I guess.