LOL Wedding night issue

[Demilitarize]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Perhaps you haven't seen nice and happy marriages which is why all this** ( a wife actually listening to her husband, a wife wanting to answer her husband when he calls, a wife having no barrier in her heart of mind in answering his call for intimacy )** is alien to you.

Sure a wife has a choice. She can forfeit her "duties" for piddling reasons such as the ones you quote.

Perhaps she is like the wives you know personally hence you view a husband's call for intimacy as something negative rather than positive. In which case it isn't your fault, that is just all you have been exposed to.

Nice try :)

What else do you call it when you make it seem like a wife has absolutely NO choice but to submit to her husband, where even pregnancy doesn't exempt her from having to please him sexually? Where making ti seem like she's the cause of every argument?

You may not call it rape, but none of that ^ sounds like it has any place in a loving and happy marriage.

[khattichic]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

To each their own interpretation of Islam and their duties. Technically there should never be an argument, the wife is supposed to give in. After all, there is a hadith proclaiming that if ever you were to bow down to anyone other than Allah, then it should be the husband because of the greatness of his rights over you.

The person who has most rights over a woman is her husband The person who has most rights over a man is his mother

Demesne, honey, I'm going to give you some very dear, sisterly advice...after being married 13 years, and giving birth to three kids, I can very frankly say that I speak for 99.9% of married (and rukhsatified!) women when I say:

-you WILL argue with your husband and NOT give in
-there will be nights when that "nudge" and "come hither" look will annoy the hell out you, and you will say "NO"..there's nothing wrong with that
-"headaches" are perfectly valid reasons to not want to have sex
-and just as many times as you don't feel like it, you will have many more mind blowing, fun nights!

I make my husband breakfast, lunch & dinner everyday, serve him chai with my own two hands, do his laundry, iron his clothes, help him with the bills, raise his kids, all while maintaining a full time job OUTSIDE of the house as well, and I do not even call him by his name! (yes, honestly, in 13 years, I have never addressed him by his name..it's always "suniyay...")...I'd say that constitues being a dutiful wife.

And after ALL that, if he nudges me at 2 am, after I JUST fell into a blissfull slumber, he's going to get smacked. he knows it, i know it, and that's the way it is! When i have to be up at 5:00 am so that I can first get ready for work, then get the kids up and ready so that I can be out the door by 6:30 (after going to bed at 12:30 am because there were 3 loads of laundry to finish and lunches to pack), the last thing I want to do is give in to him, because let's face it, he's a man and he wants it 24/7!

Kidding aside, there is a big difference between the physical act and the emotional intimacy. One cannot happen successfully without the other. It's not a Western notion, or some made up feminazi (which I most certainly am not!) heory, it's the truth. And being a practicing Muslim, who is fairly well read and intelligent when it comes to our deen, saying "NO" when you are tired/upset/ or just plain not in the mood does not go against your wifely duties as a Muslim.

[Marmalade]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

@khattichic

Demesne, honey, I’m going to give you some very dear, sisterly advice…after being married 13 years, and giving birth to three kids, I can very frankly say that I speak for 99.9% of married (and rukhsatified!) women when I say:

-you WILL argue with your husband and NOT give in
-there will be nights when that “nudge” and “come hither” look will annoy the hell out you, and you will say “NO”..there’s nothing wrong with that
-“headaches” are perfectly valid reasons to not want to have sex
-and just as many times as you don’t feel like it, you will have many more mind blowing, fun nights!

I make my husband breakfast, lunch & dinner everyday, serve him chai with my own two hands, do his laundry, iron his clothes, help him with the bills, raise his kids, all while maintaining a full time job OUTSIDE of the house as well, and I do not even call him by his name! (yes, honestly, in 13 years, I have never addressed him by his name..it’s always “suniyay…”)…I’d say that constitues being a dutiful wife.

And after ALL that, if he nudges me at 2 am, after I JUST fell into a blissfull slumber, he’s going to get smacked. he knows it, i know it, and that’s the way it is! When i have to be up at 5:00 am so that I can first get ready for work, then get the kids up and ready so that I can be out the door by 6:30 (after going to bed at 12:30 am because there were 3 loads of laundry to finish and lunches to pack), the last thing I want to do is give in to him, because let’s face it, he’s a man and he wants it 24/7!

Kidding aside, there is a big difference between the physical act and the emotional intimacy. One cannot happen successfully without the other. It’s not a Western notion, or some made up feminazi (which I most certainly am not!) heory, it’s the truth. And being a practicing Muslim, who is fairly well read and intelligent when it comes to our deen, saying “NO” when you are tired/upset/ or just plain not in the mood does not go against your wifely duties as a Muslim.

Khattichic you’re just not happy with your marriage. You don’t love your husband. That’s why you think this way. :no:

[Sara516]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

@Demesne

Perhaps you havent seen nice and happy marriages which is why all this ( a wife actually listening to her husband, a wife wanting to answer her husband when he calls, a wife having no barrier in her heart of mind in answering his call for intimacy ) is alien to you.
Sure a wife has a choice. She can forfeit her “duties” for piddling reasons such as the ones you quote. Perhaps she is like the wives you know personally hence you view a husband’s call for intimacy as something negative rather than positive. In which case it isn’t your fault, that is just all you have been exposed to.

Lol is this your way of trying to get personal? Cute.

You may think those reasons are insignificant, and seeing as how you can’t discuss without trying to get personal, anything else I say will just fall on deaf ears.

Cheers.

[Demilitarize]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Thank you for sharing Khattichic. It was very kind of you.

Demesne, honey, I'm going to give you some very dear, sisterly advice...after being married 13 years, and giving birth to three kids, I can very frankly say that I speak for 99.9% of married (and rukhsatified!) women when I say:

-you WILL argue with your husband and NOT give in -there will be nights when that "nudge" and "come hither" look will annoy the hell out you, and you will say "NO"..there's nothing wrong with that -"headaches" are perfectly valid reasons to not want to have sex -and just as many times as you don't feel like it, you will have many more mind blowing, fun nights!

I make my husband breakfast, lunch & dinner everyday, serve him chai with my own two hands, do his laundry, iron his clothes, help him with the bills, raise his kids, all while maintaining a full time job OUTSIDE of the house as well, and I do not even call him by his name! (yes, honestly, in 13 years, I have never addressed him by his name..it's always "suniyay...")...I'd say that constitues being a dutiful wife.

And after ALL that, if he nudges me at 2 am, after I JUST fell into a blissfull slumber, he's going to get smacked. he knows it, i know it, and that's the way it is! When i have to be up at 5:00 am so that I can first get ready for work, then get the kids up and ready so that I can be out the door by 6:30 (after going to bed at 12:30 am because there were 3 loads of laundry to finish and lunches to pack), the last thing I want to do is give in to him, because let's face it, he's a man and he wants it 24/7!

Kidding aside, there is a big difference between the physical act and the emotional intimacy. One cannot happen successfully without the other. It's not a Western notion, or some made up feminazi (which I most certainly am not!) heory, it's the truth. And being a practicing Muslim, who is fairly well read and intelligent when it comes to our deen, saying "NO" when you are tired/upset/ or just plain not in the mood does not go against your wifely duties as a Muslim.

[Sara516]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Demesne, honey, I'm going to give you some very dear, sisterly advice...after being married 13 years, and giving birth to three kids, I can very frankly say that I speak for 99.9% of married (and rukhsatified!) women when I say:

-you WILL argue with your husband and NOT give in -there will be nights when that "nudge" and "come hither" look will annoy the hell out you, and you will say "NO"..there's nothing wrong with that -"headaches" are perfectly valid reasons to not want to have sex -and just as many times as you don't feel like it, you will have many more mind blowing, fun nights!

I make my husband breakfast, lunch & dinner everyday, serve him chai with my own two hands, do his laundry, iron his clothes, help him with the bills, raise his kids, all while maintaining a full time job OUTSIDE of the house as well, and I do not even call him by his name! (yes, honestly, in 13 years, I have never addressed him by his name..it's always "suniyay...")...I'd say that constitues being a dutiful wife.

And after ALL that, if he nudges me at 2 am, after I JUST fell into a blissfull slumber, he's going to get smacked. he knows it, i know it, and that's the way it is! When i have to be up at 5:00 am so that I can first get ready for work, then get the kids up and ready so that I can be out the door by 6:30 (after going to bed at 12:30 am because there were 3 loads of laundry to finish and lunches to pack), the last thing I want to do is give in to him, because let's face it, he's a man and he wants it 24/7!

Kidding aside, there is a big difference between the physical act and the emotional intimacy. One cannot happen successfully without the other. It's not a Western notion, or some made up feminazi (which I most certainly am not!) heory, it's the truth. And being a practicing Muslim, who is fairly well read and intelligent when it comes to our deen, saying "NO" when you are tired/upset/ or just plain not in the mood does not go against your wifely duties as a Muslim.

Sorry but no you're a horrible wife.

Marriage is all about having sex...that's it. But I don't blame anyone for feeling this way, when they're in that stage of their relationship. :)

[Gaia]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Demesne, honey, I'm going to give you some very dear, sisterly advice...after being married 13 years, and giving birth to three kids, I can very frankly say that I speak for 99.9% of married (and rukhsatified!) women when I say:

-you WILL argue with your husband and NOT give in -there will be nights when that "nudge" and "come hither" look will annoy the hell out you, and you will say "NO"..there's nothing wrong with that -"headaches" are perfectly valid reasons to not want to have sex -and just as many times as you don't feel like it, you will have many more mind blowing, fun nights!

I make my husband breakfast, lunch & dinner everyday, serve him chai with my own two hands, do his laundry, iron his clothes, help him with the bills, raise his kids, all while maintaining a full time job OUTSIDE of the house as well, and I do not even call him by his name! (yes, honestly, in 13 years, I have never addressed him by his name..it's always "suniyay...")...I'd say that constitues being a dutiful wife.

And after ALL that, if he nudges me at 2 am, after I JUST fell into a blissfull slumber, he's going to get smacked. he knows it, i know it, and that's the way it is! When i have to be up at 5:00 am so that I can first get ready for work, then get the kids up and ready so that I can be out the door by 6:30 (after going to bed at 12:30 am because there were 3 loads of laundry to finish and lunches to pack), the last thing I want to do is give in to him, because let's face it, he's a man and he wants it 24/7!

Kidding aside, there is a big difference between the physical act and the emotional intimacy. One cannot happen successfully without the other. It's not a Western notion, or some made up feminazi (which I most certainly am not!) heory, it's the truth. And being a practicing Muslim, who is fairly well read and intelligent when it comes to our deen, saying "NO" when you are tired/upset/ or just plain not in the mood does not go against your wifely duties as a Muslim.

THIS is a normal/ healthy/ Islamic marriage!

[Demilitarize]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I’m not the one who cannot discuss without getting personal.
I repeatedly ignore a lot of your attempts to do so time and again on this forum.

@Sara516

Lol is this your way of trying to get personal? Cute.

You may think those reasons are insignificant, and seeing as how you can’t discuss without trying to get personal, anything else I say will just fall on deaf ears.

Cheers.

[redvelvet]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

THIS is a normal/ healthy/ Islamic marriage!

NO it's not okay!!! Cuz it's not the Stepford way. Sheesh!!!

[Demilitarize]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

It is sad how closed minded you are Sara.

This coming just after your post about others getting personal.

Godbless.

Sorry but no you're a horrible wife.

Marriage is all about having sex...that's it. But I don't blame anyone for feeling this way, when they're in that stage of their relationship. :)

[Sara516]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I'm not the one who cannot discuss without getting personal. I repeatedly ignore a lot of your attempts to do so time and again on this forum.

Sure....whatever goes on in your imaginary world darling.

[diwana]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Allow me to recapitulate:
1- It all started with big misconception on Walima.
2- The answer was given.
The answer included sex between husband and wife to occur within couple of days.
3- Someone said what if it does not happen or for whatever silly reason she refuses?
4- TLK brought statement based on hadith (s).
5- Someone brought another counter argument.
6- Demense brought hadith(s) based on which TLK made that statement.

7- Then two members brought something made up to counter the hadith or question on hadith. Hadith which never said what the arguments were 'created' on.

Like I have mentioned a long time ago: Marital rape is creation of stupid minds.

No one has ever suggested that even if a woman has valid reasons, man has the right to demand sex.

Now made up reasons like 'emotionally drained' have no value whatsoever.

On the other hand, men are not animals without love/or compassion for their wives. Only wanna be liberated women make these up in their minds.

[Sara516]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

ah yes. Diwana is back. buss iss ki kammi reh gi thi iss forum pe. ;)

[redvelvet]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Like I have mentioned a long time ago: Marital rape is creation of stupid minds.

No one has ever suggested that even if a woman has valid reasons, man has the right to demand sex.

Now made up reasons like 'emotionally drained' have no value whatsoever.

On the other hand, men are not animals without love/or compassion for their wives. Only wanna be liberated women make these up in their minds.

If you're not trolling......which I doubt cuz there's so much consistency in your posts which often reflect a lack of consideration for women and common sense in general..........that is really really disturbingly sad and disgusting.

[Marmalade]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

There really are some awful awful people in this world :/

[diwana]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

@Demesne

Perhaps you haven’t seen nice and happy marriages which is why all this** ( a wife actually listening to her husband, a wife wanting to answer her husband when he calls, a wife having no barrier in her heart of mind in answering his call for intimacy )** is alien to you.

Sure a wife has a choice. She can forfeit her “duties” for piddling reasons such as the ones you quote.

Perhaps she is like the wives you know personally hence you view a husband’s call for intimacy as something negative rather than positive. In which case it isn’t your fault, that is just all you have been exposed to.

You are arguing with deluded personalities.

No one said women/wives have no legitimate rights. But they live and thrive on being the champions of women lib.

[redvelvet]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

Is it no wonder that the two D’s are “likes-ing” one another.

To quote Diwana…

[Demilitarize]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

^ what do D's have to do with it RV?

Stringing two and two together are we?

Anyway. Backing out of this feminazi fest.

[diwana]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

@redvelvet

Is it no wonder that the two D’s are “likes-ing” one another.

To quote Diwana…

http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/smilies/smack.gif

That’s it? lol Couldn’t bring something substantial eh?

@redvelvet

If you’re not trolling…which I doubt cuz there’s so much consistency in your posts which often reflect a lack of consideration for women and common sense in general…that is really really disturbingly sad and disgusting.

I request you bring any valid counter argument. Much appreciated. You my friend have no strong point in arguments.

[redvelvet]

Re: LOL Wedding night issue

I request you bring any valid counter argument. Much appreciated. You my friend have no strong point in arguments.

You have no sane ones. Diwana......have mercy on mankind......and if it's not too late.......please don't procreate.