your way, with ur will.. How do you do it? I m sick and tired of people telling me what and what not to do. Yes, we do have to listen to our parents I know they know better and are more experienced. But, I 'm seriously sick of being told what to do all the time like I have no say. It’s not my parents, but other members in the family. I’m a very good well behaved child of the family but for the past few weeks I feel as if I’m stuck in a box with no will power. It’s coming to a point when I have started talking back to them which I never do. What’s wrong?
I had to let all this out! So I’m
i am doing it too. just dont let it out here.
it becomes too ruttofied and diluted where it is important otherwise.
good luck.trust me, talking back isnt as bad as ppl make it out to be.
only make it occasional.
ppl will pick things up very fast, trust me!
ok i m sorry. didnt mean to derail yr thread or anything.
Re: living your life
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mahnoor@lahore: *
your way, with ur will.. How do you do it? I m sick and tired of people telling me what and what not to do. Yes, we do have to listen to our parents I know they know better and are more experienced. But, I 'm seriously sick of being told what to do all the time like I have no say. It's not my parents, but other members in the family. I'm a very good well behaved child of the family but for the past few weeks I feel as if I'm stuck in a box with no will power. It's coming to a point when I have started talking back to them which I never do. What's wrong?
I had to let all this out! So I'm
[/QUOTE]
You make a stand and stick to it. And yes, answer back and break stuff if thats what u have to do to make them shut up and pay attention/ listen.
Stick to ur guns though, be sure what u want from them
Na main apney piyow di na main apni maan di aan, O'kehndi ae sayyan main teri aan
Its hard, but I've realized recently that its best to talk things out with your parents, otherwise if not, make a decision and live with your decision. That way it eliminates blaming somebody else for what went wrong.
aww sweetz hugz
yaar, firstly, DONT ever talk back to ur parents. ive done it with my mom, and i hate myself for doing that. i really try hard not to. and i feel like cra* when i do. its really the worst thing, doing batameezi with ur parents. this is one of the worst things in the eyes of Allah. avoid it at all costs. even saying uff to parents is not allowed. u must be kind to them.
coming to the issue. communicate with them. talk to them. in different ways if one doent work. they love you and want to see u happy. they will understand. just show them u know what u r talking abt, and really mean it maturely and r capable of being mature and responsible and handlin the consequences with patience and grace.
also keep in mind sometimes we dont get we want, and have to give up our wishes, but thats ok..its part of life..be ready to make those compromises too…
and dont want ANYTHING…ANYTHING…in life so bad that it lets u give up all good manners n everything else n u start walking blindly in its quest…keep a balance in everything and be ready to adapt to different situations…the only important thing is to be a good person at all times…
besta luck girl.. :k: jhappi if u need to talk abt anything, im alwayz here 
Well, here is the real issue, It has nothing to do with my parents. It's my grandmother who has been really testing me. What really happens is I don't say anything to daddi, but I end up complaining to Mom and Dad. Jaha hurr bar aik hey jawab hain " tumh gult hoonh" I have never talked back to Daddey, but I do let it out on mom and dad.
hmmm
yaar old ppl r like children sometimes..its a known fact...and thats mashallah great of u that u r nice to ur dadi...keep it up
hmmm...i think just hear what she has to say but dont let it get to u that much...if u think she mightbe able to understand, try to explain ur point of view to her....let ur parents know nicely what ur thoughts r as well as in the end they r the ones who make decisions isnt it....so let them know...
im sure no one is gona force u to do anything...just be mature and consistent and show that u r responsible and mature...and be nice in the process
good luck :-)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
hmmm
yaar old ppl r like children sometimes..its a known fact...and thats mashallah great of u that u r nice to ur dadi...keep it up
hmmm...i think just hear what she has to say but dont let it get to u that much...if u think she mightbe able to understand, try to explain ur point of view to her....let ur parents know nicely what ur thoughts r as well as in the end they r the ones who make decisions isnt it....so let them know...
im sure no one is gona force u to do anything...just be mature and consistent and show that u r responsible and mature...and be nice in the process
good luck :-)
[/QUOTE]
Personally, when/if I am ever a daddi, and someone referrs to me in my old age as a "child like" I will get the nearest stick and beat them to within an inch of their pathetic existance.
Or hire a hit man to do it.
She is a women in her own right, she can think and so forth and thus is responsible for what comes out of her mouth. She has seen more of the world than you (possibly) and so you respect her. But if someone is constantly on your case you do not look meek and mild.
Like it or not, relations; elder or younger are poeple too, and poeple can be cruel, stupid and narrow minded at times.
You have to be firm especially seeing as you are in a country where female rights arent at the top of every ones lists, make sure they listen to you as a person and beyound your "role" as a sister/daughter/grandaughter.
Yo uare a person and have your own dreams and aspirations. Surely at 20 its about time you let them know that.
Its impossible!
all desi parents have a PH.D in guilt trips..
think of yourself as strong as you want and go do your think.. no matter
what in the end your parents win..
after a while you humor yourself and them and let them think they are always right and sneak around adn live your life
yeh daddi,nanee ka issue bauhat gambheer hota hay, i know that for sure.
when ppl get on yr nerves, u can as a last resort say sometihng, however old they may be, as long as they r not grandparents.
unkay saath toa, maa baap bhee dartay hain, so idoubt ucan do much.
if she is still sweet and sensible and not just plain controliing, which some ppl are, u shud argue with her constantly.
try also to talk decisively and not just trying to convince ppl. whats rong with the latter is that ppl know/think they still have the upper hand, or they still think u r still in the 'askingfor opinions' phase.
but be careful, some ppl have a tendency to let u talk and get yr views on things, and then get back on u, after knowing what u want.
just tread carefully, u know yr dadee best.
u can also try constantly telling yr parents, that they are yr parents n not someone else. pester them constanlty with this view, aur bilawajay jub bhee mauqa milay.
something like "daadee say pooch loon, aap to mairay maa baap nahee lagtay" on everything u can possibly say it on .they key is to do it constanlty, to create the proper impression that you are decisivley not influenced by dadi.
and be nasty (not sarcastic thats still too mild) and not whiny abt it. they'll get fed up of u, and start listening.
even if things dont work out for a long long time, its a lot of fun for your own peace of mind when things get nasty rather than just build up inside u.
khayr, all this mite be too serious for u, in case u really wanna be the be-on-nice-terms wit h evryone type. but then if You dont take yrself seriously no one ever will.
just dont get influeced by what irem says here. its time-tested BS.
ignore what she says… i mean take it with a pinch of salt..
my whole has been dictating my life for quite some time and now i have more people who want to do it.. just ignore it honestly. Listen to them out of respect.. but u dont have to act upon anything… cus as someone up there said, at the end of the day its ur life.. and u dont want to be blamnig someone else if things go wrong.. :k:
i think sadzz if she could really get what she want from ignoring them, then she wud have. its quite easy to not be bothered, when u have the reins in yr hand. phir banda respect bhee kar laytay hay piyar say.
i have a feeling, she doesnt have the control, that u r presuming she does.so ignoring will never work out. with controlling ppl, thast the worst thing u can pssoibly do. cuz they dont care a sh*te abt what u think or feel, as long as they can get their way in the end.
hopefully her dadee isnt that bad, only mahnoor has prob been giving in lately too much.
^ u dont necessarily have to talk back harshly... yeah u can tell ur elders or the controlling person that u have ur own life and ur own decisions to make..
all im saying is, its not necessarily true that they dont care bout u.. they must care for them to even be saying such things
i know, cus my nani ma used to say things and i used to get just as mad, but now that shes no longer here, i understand
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ghuLail: *
just dont get influeced by what irem says here. its time-tested BS.
[/QUOTE]
she's like my younger sister and i'd rather give her the ISLAMICALLY CORRECT advice which i would try to follow myself if i was in that situation
you think misbehaving with elders is a good thing? good for you. i happen to diagree.
calling what someone says "BS" is a bit rude. but then again, these days one cant really expect anyone to have decency and good manners so i dont blame you :)
salam
your islam is terribly derivative.
and i think this is why you are so rigid in yr fatwas.
im not in the mood for arguments, some other time 
suddnely everyone knows what "islamically correct" is.
aap log khaas safeer hay Allah Talah kay duniya may naaoozobillah.
DS :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ghuLail: *
suddnely everyone knows what "islamically correct" is.
aap log khaas safeer hay Allah Talah kay duniya may naaoozobillah.
[/QUOTE]
GHULAIL, Allah swt has made certain things very clear for us in the Quran. It is explicitly stated that we must be kind to our parents and lower the wing of humility towards them.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by digitalsurgeon: *
i dont know what islamically correct is and neither do i say that to other people.
but u said that when u said "your islam is terribly derivative."
now is that a contradiction or what ?
[/QUOTE]
ds yaar, pata kia i think this is all modern propaganda for ppl to be not reminded of their mistakes and have the easy way out...all this "interpret islam your own way" and "lets not judge others" ...its just stuff that ppl tell themselves and be happy...everyone has it so easy and we cant even say whats wrong and whats right?
dilon me sab ko pata nai k kya sahi kya ghalat? aur Quran paak mein waise bhee saaf saaf likhee hui haen boht see baatein
the so called "liberals" who are "enlightened" have started this propaganda...koi ap k saamnay kisi begunah ko qatal kar de r we gona jus stand there n say ji naheen i dont know whats wrong n whats right coz i cant preach?
ur parents, who brought u into this world and raised u, how can it ever be right to hurt them? i do that too, but it is wrong
u n i have every opinion to judge what i think is wrong and what v think is right and tell others in a polite way and encourage them within permissible limits to do the right thing if v care enough abt them
unless v r not hurting somebody's feelings and being unjust to someone there's no reason why v shudnt judge and tell others our opinions