- What are the drawbacks of living with inlaws if your hubby is also in different country and you have to live alone with them??
2)Is it your right that you should live with your own parents in the absence of your hubby??
3)What is the purpose of such marriage in which hubby is just earning money abroad, fulfill his wife’s needs and the wife is living alone with inlaws for the whole life?? - Also What Islam says in such condition??
Re: Living without hubby....
i do not know abt draw backs ...but then why marry????
islam says for husband and wives to live together and a wife has every right to ask to live with husband in separate home.
Re: Living without hubby....
There are many pro's and con's of living with inlaws.
I know an Auntie in PK who does number 3 while her Husband's lives and earns in Saudi, comes home every year for 2 weeks and then goes back to Saudi again. She says they don't have a choice. I don't see why her Husband doesn't take her with him to Saudi?! I have no idea how they live like this! It would feel like torture.
My cousins who are married in the PK Army were made to live without their Husbands for 2 years etc esp' when Husbands were sent off on UN Missions or Hard areas.
It should be up to you who you want to live with if you can't live with your Husband. Or even get yourself a separate home, if you can afford to do so, to enjoy independance. But what about option of moving to Saudi with Husband?!
I have read somewhere but i dont know about its authencity nor do i remember teh source that in islam if a husband leaves his wife and go somewhere without her permission for more than 6 months then she has the right to seek divorce.
my advise to you is that your 1st choice shd be that he takes you with him . you are married and husband and wife are suppose to live together thats why they get married. he is supposed to provide for you , protect you and by living abroad he must only be fulfiling his financial responsibilities.
2nd. if you agree and he does go abroad and u wish to live as his wife forever then choose to live with your family not inlaws (offcourse if your family supports u ) . you dont have any obligation to live with his inlaws or to take care of them. you can also ask for a seperate and safe living its your RIGHT.
I am sounding meany and money minded but thats the only way you can secure yourself and plz dont compromise on any right of yours. if you don't agree to him going abraod then u may seek seperation if u want and live a good life i dont find any logic and fairness in husband living abroad for FOREVER and wife spending rest of her life living alone. you'd be better off without him. things would make somesense if he 's going for a particular time period like a year or two or agrees to call you once he is settled or make an arrangement for you to live there for atleast 6 months with him. other than that i dont think you shd put yourself in any misery of living your life alone for your remaining life.
Re: Living without hubby....
that scares me if the hubby does not take the wife with him ... cause the purpose of HIS marriage was to have someone look after HIM for ALL his needs and be there as a great companion so he does not feel lonely.
It seems that the guy is being "satified" by some other.
Although PLEASE NOTE there are struggling families out there who have no choice. If he earns enough then you are NOT a struggling family. That means YOU should be WITH HIM and not be seen as a financial burden for him to take you there.
Sort out who's stopping him from taking you there.
Is it because of finances?
or are you there just as a maid service for HIS parents?
Think about it with all positive possibilities and not negative thoughts.
Re: Living without hubby....
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or are you there just as a maid service for HIS parents?
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Us bechare ko kyo darah rahe hoo NJMti
Re: Living without hubby....
DA i'm surprised u r still in that same relationship n still wondering wat should b done.
Re: Living without hubby....
^lol no no I am not scaring anyone
please read carefully -* am saying if he can take her, then he should!*
but I am ALSO warning her that if the guy is a chalak one - then he is enjoying himself out there and satisfying himself, while bechari wife spends lonely virgin nights
=(
1) What are the drawbacks of living with inlaws if your hubby is also in different country and you have to live alone with them?? 2)Is it your right that you should live with your own parents in the absence of your hubby?? 3)What is the purpose of such marriage in which hubby is just earning money abroad, fulfill his wife's needs and the wife is living alone with inlaws for the whole life?? 4) Also What Islam says in such condition??
Disturb Angel,
I'm going to be TOUGH with you here.........because I have read your story from the beginning....and MANY people have advised/warned you about this matter in the past..............to NO AVAIL!
Remember that old thread of yours........where you kept complaining about your fiance's Jekyll and Hyde disrespectful behavior? Remember how your fiance was so defensive about the idea of not bringing you with him to Dubai? Remember how he got mad when you first asked him to bring you with him to Dubai? He wanted to you stay with his mum in Pakistan.....who also does not always respect you???
And MANY of the people who responded to your old thread advised you not to marry the guy. Many people such as myself warned you that there is no guarantee that your husband will take to you to dubai..........and that it's possible he will say that he'll take you only to temporarily calm you down.........and then make some excuse for why he can't take you with him.
So...........have you married him yet? If you have married him........more power to you.
Re: Living without hubby…
The husband may travel and be away from his wife for the sake of work or others interests that are Islamically acceptable, for a period no longer than six months. If it is longer than that, then he must ask his wife for permission.
1) What are the drawbacks of living with inlaws if your hubby is also in different country and you have to live alone with them?? 2)Is it your right that you should live with your own parents in the absence of your hubby?? 3)What is the purpose of such marriage in which hubby is just earning money abroad, fulfill his wife's needs and the wife is living alone with inlaws for the whole life?? 4) Also What Islam says in such condition??
socially, moraLLY, regiously i don think its the right thing to do, leavin the wife in case of emergencies or due to work etc is ok.......... but for good ............
y did that gal get married ?
did she know abt this arrangement b4 gettin married?
socially, moraLLY, regiously i don think its the right thing to do, leavin the wife in case of emergencies or due to work etc is ok.......... but for good ............ y did that gal get married ? did she know abt this arrangement b4 gettin married?
I'm not sure if DA has gotten married. May Allah give her the strength if she has cuz she was sufficiently warned by guppies and guppans.
And to answer your second question.....yes....the poster was FULLY aware about the possibility of this arrangement before getting married. She had asked her fiance that she wanted to live with him in Dubai......he got mad........sent her an email full of profanities.........and then suddenly him and his mom appeased her and her parents by telling them that she'll move to Dubai after marriage. This calmed the poster down.........but she was warned by several guppies that a verbal reassurance from her hubby/MIL is no guarantee that she'll be living in Dubai.
I'm not sure if DA has gotten married. May Allah give her the strength if she has cuz she was sufficiently warned by guppies and guppans.
And to answer your second question.....yes....the poster was FULLY aware about the possibility of this arrangement before getting married. She had asked her fiance that she wanted to live with him in Dubai......he got mad........sent her an email full of profanities.........and then suddenly him and his mom appeased her and her parents by telling them that she'll move to Dubai after marriage. This calmed the poster down.........but she was warned by several guppies that a verbal reassurance from her hubby/MIL is no guarantee that she'll be living in Dubai.
this is reason enough not to marry the guy.
if he s so disrespecful in the begining he s not even tryin to understand or discuss her fears .. how does she expect him to behave after marriage??
if she s aleady married ........... fewwwww
May Allah give her strength.
Re: Living without hubby....
some ppl learn only thru trial n error n never from other's experiences & insight
Us bechare ko kyo darah rahe hoo NJMti
Kaali Raat,
I actually know of a girl......who was married to a guy who lived in abroad in Europe. Little did the girl and her parents know that the guy was already married to a gori in Europe. From what I've heard.....the basic purpose of getting the guy married to a girl in Pak......is so that his mom will have a maid/company when he's away on the other side of the world.
So.......some scary stories can turn out to be true. But it's smarter to consider every possibility....even the scary ones.....before making a decision.
Re: Living without hubby....
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...is so that his mom will have a maid/company when he's away on the other side of the world....
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moms aisa b ker sakte hainnn ...
Re: Living without hubby....
it's not as ez as it may seem. imagine seeing ur hubs only once or twice a year for a few weeks when he'll be preoccupied with other family members too. c'mon where families r struggling n huby has to go away tat's a different story but i also read ur previous posts. in ur post i think u had mentioend tat this arrangment was being done just because he wanted it this way, right? it's not ez. n if u haven't gotten married yet then now's the best time to make it happen n make them agree tat u go with him. yeh no ho bad main pachtaway reh jain.
G'luck.
Re: Living without hubby....
^ she might not listen no matter wat u or others say. she has set her mind to marry dubaiwala only.
1) What are the drawbacks of living with inlaws if your hubby is also in different country and you have to live alone with them?? 2)Is it your right that you should live with your own parents in the absence of your hubby?? 3)What is the purpose of such marriage in which hubby is just earning money abroad, fulfill his wife's needs and the wife is living alone with inlaws for the whole life?? 4) Also What Islam says in such condition??
seriously D A , if ur still single n contemplatin marryin this person
a word of advice
its better 2 b single n lookin than 2 b married n miserable. u sud know ur worth n don settle for less. thats dead end.
seriously D A , if ur still single n contemplatin marryin this person a word of advice its better 2 b single n lookin than 2 b married n miserable. u sud know ur worth n don settle for less. thats dead end.
coccoo......read her previous thread and you'll find that many members (women AND men) advised her along similar lines you have.