Not talking about the Islamic perspective here so if you object for those reasons, that is another thing on its own. I was just wondering whether you guys have/or would do it. Was it any different from being married or you prefer not to until you’re married?
I know a few Pakistani people who live together, mostly in Lahore and Karachi but I knew some in Toronto as well. These couples are just engaged and their parents seem to be fine about it, esp. the ones living in Lahore and Karachi, Karachi in particular. The girls were living on their own for work so their parents were glad they had their future-husband living with them.
I personally would love to live w/ him but our parents would just faint. My dad and his friends (all Pakistani) had female roommates (again, all Pakistani) during the college days when they were studying in the USA. So what gives? I know some people would be horrified at the thought of their daughter or even son living w/ an unmarried person of the opposite sex or their future spouse, while some seem to be okay with it. Talking about desi parents in general. I dont know any Indian unwed couple living together but the same rules would apply there too.
If they have done Nikah, then it's understandable, but without Nikah, I don't think most of the desi parents would let their daughters live with their fiances before marriage.
I know, but these couples aren't married which is what the thread is referring to. Of course w/ Nikkah you can live together.
Really? Ive never heard of such a thing happening in Lahore and I live here! Parents wouldnt know about it thats another thing. But parents giving approval? Never. Unheard of.
Secondly, there are many pakistanis I know (girls and guys both) who share houses with roommates in schools in the US or USA but then again thats to ease the financial strain and we are talking four five people in a rented house, non related male and female both but treating the house as a mini hostel of sorts.
Not talking about the Islamic perspective here so if you object for those reasons, that is another thing on its own. I was just wondering whether you guys have/or would do it. Was it any different from being married or you prefer not to until you're married? .
I think islamic and cultural aspects put aside, i still wouldnt live with my husband before rukhsati.
:) If culture allowed it though (since islam already does) I might take short vacations with him though out of city for a total of three or four days max, but id prefer to live in my parents house till after rukhsati.
I don’t even understand what kind of fools go into such frivilous relationships knowing the have absolutely no right over each other under law. They can be eaisly kicked out without the other having to face anything under law/penalty. And honestly! i believe only people who have no self worth go for such set-ups. n they are basically dying to be taken advatange of maybe because thats what they r worth for .
My parents would kill me. But they don't need to do that. I wouldn't be doing that anyways. We lose our self-respect when we do such kinda things which also affect our present as well as our future life. Of course, religion is the basis for this. But even if religion would have allowed us to do this, there are major repurcussions for this, just like religion has allowed men to marry 4 women at a time but they know the repurcussions and they usually end up marrying only one.
If its not permissible in Islam, no need to discuss this. If anyone doesn't follow Islam, or thinks its not a big deal, they would definitely regret their decision at some point in their life since I don't think any good can be achieved from living together before marriage.
Personally I see nothing wrong with two adults wanting to live together before marriage. It is up to the person to weigh the consequences of what will happen if things don't work out, especially given how conservative our (desi) societies are.
Letting your kids live together because they're engaged, is the most retarded thing I've ever heard. Sorry M, but there is just no way you can take out the Islamic perspective on this issue. This is BIG TIME trouble.
@kakee: LOLL you really think they're going to stay in their own rooms? Why even put yourself in a weak position, when there may be a slight chance you're going to commit haram?
**The unIslamic effects of living together:
**My best friend lived with her bf for 3 years. We all tried to explain to her, that nothing good can come out of it. While they were living together, their relationship was great, for obvious reasons. They would have a great time together, never really fight (at least not in front of us). But I think due to them being able to live together, they completely missed out on developing an emotional connection/ understanding, rather than just a physical connection. After a fight yes it's probably much easier to just fall into each other arms, rather than ACTUALLY TALK about the depth of the problem. and solve.
Well when they both got jobs and moved away, the fighting, cursing, etc. started over the phone. I mean there is NO understanding between them. Nither of them knew/ and still don't know what is important to their partner. What NOT to say. When to stop talking, because your partner is upset.
They're still together, but because they feel like they HAVE TO TO BE TOGETHER. She always says, "it's always been like we're married, so there is no breaking up." And I'm like Whattttt?? People don't stay in a marriage because they did it, it was halal for them, but not for you. You feel guilty in ALLAH's eyes, so pleased don't compare THAT to a marriage.
but personally I wouldn’t prefer it.
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