Living in a joint family in North America

[Mabrook]

Re: Living in a joint family in North America

@libranrulz

I think so far Jolie and mabrook have been the voice of reason. I understand why the OP opened the thread and she might have issues with the joint family system but you have to realize that your fiance has some financial burdens and some obligations towards both you and his parents. He can’t and will never cut his parents off financially and he has every right to support his parents as well as you do. I don’t know how whether its cultural or a religious thing but parents are always the responsibility of their sons and he is just trying to fulfill his responsibility.

My solution to your problem would be that if you guys are having issues in affording a seperate house then like Jolie suggested why don’t you try getting a job and pitch in financially. Be a part of the solution instead of being a part of the problem. That would get your what you want, i.e. a house, and make his life easier so that he can fulfill all his responsibilities in the best possible way. Of course, the other choice would be to not just dismiss the idea without even trying it and give living in a joint family system (whether basement or separate room) a fair chance. I personally have issues with some of the things that you have said i.e. if you can dress like a decent human being because your mom forced you to then why is it so hard to dress properly for your inlaws. Why subject them to a different set of rules just because they are his parents.

other options … buy a lot. get a custom house built or build it urself to accomodate everyone. or buy a large enuf house that needs TLC( some fore-closure preferably to save money), upgrade it n put a partition so u get ur own kitchen and ensuite but u share living area. or else buy a two storey. u keep upper portion, put a door infront of stairs so nobody comes upstairs without knocking, add a kitchnette in one of spare rooms. u can even add ur own back enterance by adding a deck to ur room and stairs going down.