One could read your post and say that everything you're doing for them, is not about them but about you. You have set standards of how your life should be when you are old, and you are just creating the right environment so things end up that way.
One could think that for you to have independent life when you are in your sixties, you sent your kid away when he was only 12, regardless of thinking that he might be emotionally needing yours and your better half's presence.
I am not criticising your choices. I am just sharing the perspective that one can develop from your post.
I always kept myself busy, whether its going to the cinema or MSN or Skype or chatting or GSing. I have accepted I will not spend years and years in the same house as my family, so no use getting down over it. Living alone is essential experience for later on in the life when we have to be independent.
i know i dont have to…but it allows me probably obtain something thatll be useful in having a fulfilling life…then i question myself…do i even want it?
so confused.
as everyone can probably see im going through a really tough time right now
I've lived away from home since I was 16. Boarding School 16-21, then came to the USA and was alone here too until I got married 4 years later. Of course you visit your family during holidays etc but I do completely understand the feeling of being disconnected. Now when I look back, I can safely say that those were some of the most amazing days of my life. Why? Well, you get to grow up (though I'm still going thru growing up years later :D), make your own decisions, learn to deal with all kinds of people, enjoy the thrill of the unknown, become extra disciplined with your finances, do some crazy things, do some wild things, learn in an environment that isn't encased in the opinions and influences of your people....well these are just my personal experiences.
And while the joys and pleasures of living at home are plenty (I mean nothing like coming home to mom and dad's after a long day at school and getting a warmm hug and a hot cooked meal, a comfy and cozy home and tons of love), but living away is a valuable experience in itself that you realize later. Enjoy it. Pat yourself on your back that you are doing it and can do it!
Oh, and now with awesome technology that wasn't available in my days, you can Skype and at least be visually connected. And though that's no replacement for the real thing, at least it is an option.
Oh and when we get married and live in another country like I do, it’s very very hard. It’s way harder than being in boarding school. It’s not as easy to take time off and leave because now you have multiple responsibilities…but you keep going whenever you can and … dang! I’m not letting my daughters go anywhere.
today is especially deadening because our whole city is dead because of a winter storm and I see no one outside plus i'm going through some recovery from a lost relationship. All of this change is a bit overwhelming and preventing me from concentrating on important things in life. It is a growing and strengthening time. Strange but being on GS helps and prayer of course helps a bit but for some reason the being alone thing makes the sadness a bit more extreme. I just need to think back to more painful times in the past and look back at how strong I was then and how I got through it I guess. I wish Spring would come now. Today just seemed like the longest most depressing day and i'm glad it's over.
do you regret any of it? basically youhave been away from your parents every since you grew up…
since people enjoy it this way: they work all day and then party and drink. i have work to do all day but i dont party, only drink jkjkjkjk. maybe not. ok jk.
awwww. i completely understand. are you introverted? im pretty introverted and i think that has a lot to do with it. how often do u go home??
(...) make your own decisions, learn to deal with all kinds of people, enjoy the thrill of the unknown, become extra disciplined with your finances, do some crazy things, do some wild things, learn in an environment that isn't encased in the opinions and influences of your people....
I just read these lines like they could have been written by myself!
I went overseas for uni, and lived far from home all my 5 college years. And, like my fellow colleague Niksik, those years were THE MOST AMAZING YEARS of my life. Now married and settle down i look back and see all those awesome opportunities i had to live my life to the fullest!!! And the homesick moments, somehow, built that experience as well, but just the good moments stays for prosperity, the bad ones are not important anymore.
My advice is: live every moment you gonna have trying every flavor of it, coz even the bad ones are gonna build the person you will be in future. Living independently is a golden experience, so don't loose the chance to go out and make some memories instead of staying inside and whining.
And think that you are luck that you can still go back home every weekend. During my 5 years abroad i just travelled home 5 times, and yes, it was for holidays. ;)
also, ive already lived away and they have been the most amazing years of my life and theyve allowd me to become a very confident person today
so i dont need to move farther away to grow up anymore i think...
I just read these lines like they could have been written by myself!
I went overseas for uni, and lived far from home all my 5 college years. And, like my fellow college Niksik, those years were THE MOST AMAZING YEARS of my life. Now married and settle down i look back and see all those awesome opportunities i had to live my life to the fullest!!! And the homesick moments, somehow, built that experience as well, but just the good moments stays for prosperity, the bad ones are not important anymore.
My advice is: live every moment you gonna have trying every flavor of it, coz even the bad ones are gonna build the person you will be in future. Living independently is a golden experience, so don't loose the chance to go out and make some memories instead of staying inside and whining.
And think that you are luck that you can still go back home every weekend. During my 5 years abroad i just travelled home 5 times, and yes, it was for holidays. ;)
One could read your post and say that everything you're doing for them, is not about them but about you. You have set standards of how your life should be when you are old, and you are just creating the right environment so things end up that way.
One could think that for you to have independent life when you are in your sixties, you sent your kid away when he was only 12, regardless of thinking that he might be emotionally needing yours and your better half's presence.
I am not criticising your choices. I am just sharing the perspective that one can develop from your post.
Oh God No, we didn't send him away, he goes out of town to compete in Kayaking and training camps to Florida and stuff, he is in the high school basket ball team also he is 15 now and he is very happy laughs a lot, has lots of friends, honor student and all. He has a lovely coach she is practically his second mom. never put pressure on him and my children are like my buddies we talk for hours, Also all the teammates parents are in the same boat and I see senior athletes and they have amazing lives, We spend at least 20 hrs week at their training and 10k/yr in expenses my wife had to quit 80k job, he wakes me up at 5.30 am to go to practice. It is all for me though as seeing them develop into the best possible people is my goal. Going back to attachment, when he was training in Florida, he hardly called, having too much fun I guess and that made me happy that he is becoming a man.
also, ive already lived away and they have been the most amazing years of my life and theyve allowd me to become a very confident person today
so i dont need to move farther away to grow up anymore i think...
I am in my mid 30's.
I am asking myself why you've opened a threat asking for advices about something that the answer is crystal clear! (and you prob already know that!)
You want to move back home, and you want some support on your decision. Even though you can say that's not true, but it clear is. And everyone that post anything diff than what-you-think-is-right you argue back.
Make a list of priorities and see what comes first: finishing your studies, or living in your family house. Then from there make your mind on whether is worth passing thru all these hard time staying with a roommate that you hate as your sole companion on the lonely days, or if you prefer going back home. You still can change your roommate to someone that matches more your personality before taking the step of moving back home.
nah im not arguing back, im just giving the other side, i do whatever seems most logical to me and what i can be persuaded to do...so im trying to see the pros and cons of both sides
It’s way harder than being in boarding school. It’s not as easy to take time off and leave because now you have multiple responsibilities…but you keep going whenever you can and … 
dang! I’m not letting my daughters go anywhere. 
jkjkjkjk. maybe not. ok jk.
i completely understand. are you introverted? im pretty introverted and i think that has a lot to do with it. how often do u go home??