**hmm may be, lakin apna apna experience hai...pakistani ppl generally try to do things their way using islam lot more than any other nation I came across so far, **it is very sad. take this forum for examples there are so many issue that ppl discuss and you don't see those in a lot of other muslim nations. Simple things like shadi and jaheez is turned into unbearable burdens and made un-necessarily complex..
Yeah, apart from forced/pressured marriages, dowry issues etc. we're also one of the few cultures that actively practises the caste system, can't get much more hypocritical or messed up than that.. so much drama and BS comes from that alone and still a lot of us are too proud and reluctant to move away from it.. Imo Malaysians are the most sincere and open-minded but generally ppl from that part of the world are far more tolerant and forward-thinking than we are anyway..
Re: life before marriage vs after marriage
I think whatever situation you find yourself in after marriage; whether you have a similar lifestyle, or a completely different one, there must always be a compromise (particularly on the girls part). So, of course things will be different for her, mainly for the first few months, but she will settle in eventually. That's part of life; making adjustments! Just read du'a and InshAllah everything will work out for her! :)
Have a little faith in your friend. She just might surprise you.
I know a girl in a similar situation who was married a few years ago. She came from a very wealthy family and she married a guy who wasn't as well off and lived very simply. Everybody thought that she would never be able to adjust. But this girl proved everybody wrong by being totally down to earth and fitting right in with him and his very simple family (who reciprocated by treating her as they should...as a much loved member of the family). Five years later, they're as happy as can be.
Re: life before marriage vs after marriage
why are people focusing on ONLY the guy's socioeconomic status?
if its a love marriage: obviously both girl n guy knew abt each other's lifestyles beforehand and chose it for themselves so no one else should interfere. if the girl's parents are sooo concerned about her lifestyle they should make sure she has a good education + career so that she doesn't have to rely on the guy to provide her luxury cars and houses. or if the girl's too dumb for a career, they should give her a house in jahaiz. simple.
if its arranged: obviously the girl's parents accepted the guy from a poor family cuz the girl also had some shortcomings. the guy might be a gem in every way except for his money. the girl might be just rich but not as good looking, cultured, well-mannered, educated, etc etc. there's something thats preventing her from gettin rishtas from guys from equally well-off families. soooo she should relax n learn to compromise cuz thats what marriage is all about :)
Re: life before marriage vs after marriage
mayb girl's parents hv this thinking dat their daughter is so spoiled then it would b difficult for her to adjust wid the same sopiled type guy or very rich family...(offcourse there could b much fights n no compromises)n this humble,simple guy could b a supportive hubby ready to ignore her untrained actions ect....n the matter of wealth is not a issue bcuz this girl's parents r rich n they must support her...
2nd thing could b dat the girl likes dat simple guy n this is luv marraige...
any girl wen get married she needs time to adjust...no matter she is from where...rich or not...both(couple) hv to do sme compromise...