OK…firstly, stop doing things only and only for him. the problem with many desi girls is…we make all these “sacrifices” or put in a lotta “effort” on things we THINK matter to the dudes…when they actually don’t really care/notice these things. yes, its true, SOME guys do appreciate a girl who always does her makeup n smells like flowers 100% of the time but maybe your hubby isn’t one of those guys. you will like your life alot more when you do things for yourself and enjoy activities regardless of his presence or not. when he sees you doing things your way and having fun, he will feel more attracted to you and want to join u in those activities. i mean, you prob. have a car and some excess time…just tell him casually that you wanna start being more active with the mosque events and from hereon you will go every friday at so n so time. go, make some friends, and tell him how much fun/exciting it is to meet all these new ppl who do this and that. guess what? he’ll prob start going with you then.
i remember my phupho always used to say that the dumbest thing young girls do is refuse to eat w/o the husband when he’s late from work. the prob with that is, that not only do you become angry or agitated for him being late, but also for keeping you hungry. its a self-imposed restriction/torture and i’m pretty sure the guy doesn’t give a crap how hungry you remained for him when you start yelling at him for being late. a guy would prefer that you ate your dinner before he came home, and welcomed him with a smile whenever he did arrive. apply that rule to everything in life…you shouldn’t make up stupid rules and put restrictions on yourself just cuz thats how its “supposed to be”. just cuz u’re married doesn’t mean you can ONLY go hiking with the hubby. its OK to do it with other friends too.
the biggest change in me n hubby’s relationship since marriage is our conversations. beforehand, we always used to have SOMETHING to discuss…no matter hwo long the phone call got. since we started living together…we’re running out of topics to talk about. lol. at first it used to bother me…i tried filling in the silence with whatever crap topics of convos i could come up with. then i realized, that instead of trying extra hard and making myself look dumb, i should just accept that we are both naturally quiet/shy people and when you are living together there’s not much to share since everything is happening in front of our eyes. so…now when we ARE a bit quiet i don’t feel awkward. its just OK with both of us. and that actually allows us to have good, meaningful convos when we DO talk instead of me expecting him to discuss project runway and kardashian pregnancies with me.
well said … people change as times change. we move on ahead with our lives.. and mostly the change is for good. we don’t realise but this usually is changing for the better. a fiery over expressive emotional relation is fun while it LASTS and then bam, nothing’s left… but consistency mutual trust and loyalty comes with time. it’s when guys become more focused and serious about life..with a lot of responsibilities.
so the best option would be to relax, take things the way they come ACCEPT them. like don’t make your poor hubby the epitome of everything you do with. start having a social life of your own. keep yourself busy with other things. so that you have a busy day and when your hubby gets home you are not mad at him to death for being away for so long and not giving you enough time…
trust me little positive changes and adaptability in the woman’s attitude can do wonders
