What are some Muslim majority countries where it’s common for Muslim women to dress the way choose? My best friend is from Azerbaijan (formerly part of the soviet union) and she is just the most amazing person, it’s common for them to wear short dresses in family events/partys etc, but they are muslim and dressing that way is not an issue for them. Same with North African countries like Tunisia, Algeria.
My question is why is it such a problem in my country Pakistan? Have we always had a conservative sense of dressing? Or was there a period when women could wear revealing clothes. Nothing raunchy but knee lenght skirts for example. Why is it so unacceptable?
I went to Turkey and was blown away by the tolerance level of the Turkish people. Pakistanis must learn from them. I don’t know why in Pakistan religion is stuffed down everyone’s throat. People judge you and literally rape you with their eyes if you are a girl and you choose to wear something a little modern and walk around in public. People will judge you based on what you wear. It’s a pathetic state of affairs but what can we do? The only way to reduce this is by educating people about tolerance and teach the people the motto…live and let live!
I live in Canada and in my experience of living here for about 25 years, Pakistanis who have been born and raised here or have lived majority of their lives in Canada, are usually a bit more tolerant and open minded towards these kind of things. The Pakistanis who are fresh off the boat…Due to their judging mentality and lack of respect to anyone who is modern, I cannot stand them!
^Totally agree! When I went to Turkey, they were just so polite and never stared at you, its a hot country in summer and people can wear short shorts and you are not judged or raped by eyes.
Here in the UK level of tolerance is pretty much non-existent and you hardly see a muslim girl without a hijab, and they more often than not hang out with hijabis only. No matter how polite you are they always keep you at an arms distance.
I think women used to wear revealing clothes in Pakistan(in the cities) back in the 60s and 70s according to some of the older people I know but since the 80s Pakistan’s gotten more conservative cause of Zia’s Wahabization policy, though it did start in the late 70s with the banning of alcohol ,brothels,fornication etc
The reason why Pakistan is more conservative is probably cause we’re officially an Islamic Republic like Iran and Malaysia, moreover unlike those countries we were primarily founded as an Islamic state or according to some a homeland for South Asian Muslims, so Islam is a big part of Pakistan’s identity and that’s why everytime one of us suggests we liberalize, the religious people would argue that they would negate Pakistan’s right to exist and the extreme liberals(mostly ethnic nationalists) believe that the only thing that binds the many ethnic groups of Pakistan is the common religion, so Pakistan’s walking a tight rope.
Individually speaking, there’s nothing wrong with it. But you asked why within a muslim country and/or a muslim culture, then Islam prescribes that women must cover their aura. That’s probably why knee-length skirts may be seen as unacceptable when in public. And it is for that reason in many muslim countries that have not been liberated yet, it might seem to be unacceptable. Refer to Surah Noor.
Go to a place in the West where Desi folks are not common and you will be stared at if you wear a shalwar kameez or an abaaya etc.
Naturally you will stand out and illicit stares if you dress in a way that is not in accordance with the way of life in a country; there’s nothing surprising about that.
And living in the US, I have seen women in revealing clothes get stared at or “checked out” by men..even married men. The gawking may not be obvious, but it’s still there.
Since skin exposure is so common and even lauded in some countries, people may have become “immune” to it and so it’s not the “shock” that it would be in Pakistan. However, immunity to something doesn 't necessarily make that thing okay or healthy. For instance, look at the filth in the music…it’s common…and maybe society has become immune to it… but that doesn’t make it healthy or kosher or right or even something that should be emulated.
showing your legs makes you fake? When you’re praying you have to be fully covered but when you are in a party indoors with only friends and family, you cannot imagine to be without a dupatta, no matter how elegant your anarkali (long kameez dress) is, would make most auntys so angry. They will tell you how you are losing tehzeeb. What is this domestic dictatorship?
Couldn’t have said it better. Muslims who wear short dresses are automatically labelled phony and the one’s wearing a hijab are automatically better. How convenient. This kind of thinking disgusts me. Definitely NOT true in my experience. Having gone to high school and college in Canada, I have met my share of muslim hijabi’s who are far worse muslims then the ones wearing those short skirts. I DON’T judge people by what they wear or what they do in their private time. They can be praying at home or having a glass of wine for all I care.
I have all types of friends. Some drink, some don’t. Some eat Halal only and some will eat whatever. I have Muslim, Hindu, Sikh, Christian friends and we all hang out together occasionally and love each other’s company. It’s because we are honest and sincere with each other and we know nobody is going to stab someone in the back and we don’t judge anybody for what they wear or do.
So much bruhaha over a dupatta? Being modestly dressed is not only confined to performing namaz. It’s a consistent thing. If the friends and family in that indoor partaay consist of non-mehrams then your awrah needs to be covered. To my knowledge, Islam prohibits even women from exposing awrah to their own gender.
If your elegant clothes are not fitted (most cases they are) and don’t reveal the shape of your body…then it may not necessary to take a dupatta. In my family and within my social circle, a big deal is not made of taking a dupatta.
It’s possible that the auntis in your social circle are much more conservative… Perhaps their upbringing is different… They were maybe raised with the belief that your outfit is not complete with a dupatta draped across your shoulders. Probably that’s the tehzeeb they were raised with. While cultural tehzeeb and Islam may have many fearures in common; the two are not always on the same page. People can get misguided when they attribute cultural practices to Islam when the former might not be a part of the latter. For instance, some folks think forced marriages are a part of Islam when that’s incorrect. It may be a part of culture or twisted mentality, but it’s not endorsed by Islam.
But putting tehzeeb aside, if you don’t take a dupatta with the outfit…dupatta goes to waste. At least that’s what my mom tells me. You paid for it; might as well wear it. It really isn’t such a big deal.
In pakistan women who work in construction wear dhoti. No one have issue with them.
They feel safe. No one stare at them.
Plus their husbands are usually close by with tools like hammers and stuff…
It definitely has to do with a lack of basic education. I also think there is less emphasis on Islamic studies in Turkey, Azerbaijan, as compared to Pakistan and the schools are more secular as well.
I think in countries like Pakistan people use religion more readily to justify their actions or as a way to pressurize others into compelling, even when they may not be ready. It was one of those things that really irked me during my travels. It’s really hard though to change the mentality of people who just keep repeating the mistakes of their older generations. I think it’s definitely a lack of education, and also an inherit disregard for the feelings and personal choices of an individual. People forget that religion is personal and that everyone is at a different phase in their life.
@Red velvet: I used dupatta as an example to show how such a minor ‘liberation’ as in wearing ur dress without it, can be objectionable to most aunties. So minor skin show is off limit completely.
But are we saying that all families in Pakistan are 100% good muslims? Realistically not possible, but even a thurkie (druggy) will tell his sister to put dupatta on her head, he’s got no time to be religious but as long as shes wearing covered clothes she is in an acceptable position to leave the house. My point is Islam is not all about clothes, very little infact. But the burden of not inticing men’s lustful desires when he’ll look at your ankles, when your wearing high pajama or leggings, falls on a girl.
I would never have even discussed this but when you compare us with other muslim countries, I am surprised that how they have balanced their lives. They pray and are respectful to others and their fathers/brothers allow them to dress openly. I’m sure they love them just like our family love their families. I find this level of tolerance in muslim men quite extraordinary, giving how we are always lectured on haya and sharam but men are not expected to take an initiative and mind their eyes. As yaasir wrote in his first post, even covering fully is not enouge, they check you out like scanners at the airport.
I don’t know man…just dress the way you feel comfortable. But again, I’m a kind of person who would wear skinny jeans just to piss my holy friends…or would show up dressed in baggy jogging bottoms at my posh friend’s party.
